Rated: Britney Spears - Britney Jean

Britney Spears is one of the greatest pop stars of all time, there's no denying that. Her influence, even if she was controlled and directed by record company execs, on late 90s and early 2000s pop is unquestionable. She's released iconic songs like 'Baby One More Time', 'Oops! I Did It Again', 'Slave 4 U' & 'Toxic', and she's sold over 100 million albums in 15 years. So when she comes back with new material all pop fans sit in perspiring anticipation for another "epic" moment from the once princess of pop. 

New album Britney Jean has been promoted, although minimally, as her most personal record to date. A concept record about the loneliness of the pop industry, apparently. She's roped in some of the biggest producers in the world too, like Madonna's pal William Orbit, 'Million Voices' anthem maker Otto Knows, Diplo and of course her new bff Will.i.am. 

The album is largely a dance album. Lead single Work Bitch, produced by Otto and Will.i.am is a club ready anthem with euphoric electronic dance production and ridiculous lyricism. Britney whips out her 'best' English accent, something I'm beginning to think Will.i.am is responsible for and demands you call her 'the bubbler' because she'll make you 'bubble up'. It's one of the stupidest songs of 2013 and of her career (bar 'Lucky') but it's so infectious and so likeable it's infuriating. The silliness continues with uber robotic It Should Be Easy, featuring Will.i.am. The overuse of vocoder distracts from what could actually have been a solid dance track - thankfully the vocal-less dance segments are enjoyable. The dance productions continue with Body Ache, a less silly song than Work Bitch but with a less enjoyable dance segue. We do get a little blast of what Britney calls Hip Hop, but we'll call it Brit Hop, with Tik Tik Boom featuring T.I. It suffers from over production on the vocal front, but the beats on the chorus are brilliant.

Orbit production Alien is the most blatant attempt at exploring the concept of a lonely pop life. It's actually quite a strong song after repeated listens, with some lovely Orbit trademark sounds. The problem is it could have just been pushed that little bit further. Whether this failure to quite hit the 'perfect' mark is down to Britney's inability to be charismatic or Orbit's production eludes me. Still this is one of the album's best tracks. Til It's Gone similarly looks at being alone, however on a more personal than professional level. It's an album highlight, with less intrusive vocal manipulation and some trademark Britney croaks surrounded by brilliant dance synths. 

Buzz song Passenger is another enjoyable moment on Britney Jean, but it is in dire need of a 15 second cut from the vocal empty intro. It's a mid-tempo love song with a pretty strong hook and pleasant poppy production from Diplo. I did expect something far more intense from a producer of his calibre though... Following on from this is the absolutely awful duet with her little sister Jamie Lynn Chillin' With You, who is actually a better singer than her mega star sibling but has about as much charisma as door knob. Couple that with shit on a stick production and you have the turd of Britney Jean.

A Britney Spears album is not complete without a down tempo track, or two. The Britney Spears ballad can never really be a proper ballad due to, err, vocal limitations. Britney Jean has a couple of these 'ballads' in the form of Perfume & Don't Cry. The latter is mediocre, with yet more overuse of vocoder marring any credibility the song could have had. Sia penned Perfume is a lot stronger, with little to no vocal manipulations or silly effects. It's a strong enough track, with a catchy chorus but it's not one of Sia's best works.

When Britney Spears released Blackout she paved the way for electronic pop to rise up and take over the charts. Unfortunately, Britney Jean isn't going to be setting any trends, nor is it going to have a number 1 single (I doubt). There isn't one 5 star track here, but there are a few that with a bit more attention and perhaps some fresh producers could have been very strong. As has become the trend in Britney Spears' work, this album is overflowing with dance floor beats and over production. There are some songs that are so vocally manipulated they may as well have built a robot and stuck it in the studio. The notion that this is a concept album is completely absurd; a concept album has a recurring theme/message, this does not. If you want a concept album listen to VV Brown's Samson & Delilah. Britney Jean is an album that hinders its own success with production greed, Britney's complete lack of charisma & personality, and far too much Will.i.am. 

Download: Alien / Perfume / Work Bitch / Til It's Gone

2/5

Rated: Natalia Kills - Trouble

Quite often there are good pop stars, who aren't really pop stars in the full sense of the words. They write, produce and perform some very good pop songs, but too few people raise their heads to pay attention and it all fades away into the iTunes search ether. This can be said of the, at times, very good Natalia Kills. Her first proper studio album Perfectionist sold a moderate volume, but 129 in the UK charts isn't going to get you the recognition that's afforded to your peers Rihanna and Rita Ora. Alas, at least you have a major role to play in the completion of your work; just sayin'. 

At 27, Natalia Kills does deserve some recognition, even if it is just for effort. Her new album Trouble is much darker than Perfectionist and feels less contrived. Gone are the pleasant yet common sounding tracks like 'Free' and in are dirty electronic beats and rock riffs. Trouble is a mashup of electronic and rock influences, with 27 years of pain and traumatic domestic experiences thrown into the mix. 

Problem and Boy's Don't Cry show off the sassy side of Natalia Kills; in a nutshell they're songs about fucking without feelings. The former is an album standout, with a killer hook and club ready rough rock-hop synths. The latter opens with an electric guitar riff, before popping into a playground chant about getting nailed and leaving a guy to deal with his emotional attachment. "I'll be yours tonight but don't hold me too tight/ When we say goodbye remember boys don't cry" she sings on a fun turn on gender stereotypes, putting the guy in a role that's typically stamped on females. This 'fucking' theme continues on Gwen Stefani inspired Rabbit Hole, which sounds like a 'Hollaback Girl' clone. It's not an instant like, but after 3 or 4 plays you'll find yourself getting quite addicted to self assurance Natalia Kills pours into her semi rap verses. The decadent album content flounders on Controversy though. Although it has some of the most fun production on the album, the point of the song never really shows itself and the whole affair seems needless. 

There are a few ballads on Trouble and they serve as a break from the roaring electronics, but they're the weakest moments on the album. Watching You is hard to get into and seems a bit washed out and the feeling extends to Devils Don't Fly, but thankfully the piano lead Marlboro Lights is a surprise album favourite, with a confident and authentic vocal performance and some lovely lyrics to boot. The lesson is that Natalia Kills is certainly not a ballad artist.

Things get incredibly good with Saturday Night, by far the album's strongest track and one of my top 25 tracks of 2013 (teaser). It's an anthemic track, with a wavering 80s synth and pounding beats layered amidst the revealing lyrics about her father's alcoholism and domestic abuse of her mother: "Momma you're beautiful tonight/ Movie star hair and that black eye/ You can't even notice it when you smile so hard through a heart felt lie..." The quality continues with Outta Time & Daddy's Girl. The latter another standout track with some brilliant lyrical structures and a more poppy production than the rest of the album.

Trouble probably won't hit the top 10, not that it doesn't deserve to, it is certainly good enough. The problem for Natalia Kills is that although her songs are, at times, brilliant the majority of them are not loveable on first listen. This could be down to the fact that the lyrics are a bit too intricate/clever, making it hard to pick up on first play. Once you do though, once you get that hook you really do discover something/someone quite special. I advise anyone who hasn't explored this artist before to give her a chance because her honesty & delivery warrant attention.

Download: Saturday Night / Daddy's Girl / Problem / Boys Don't Cry

3.5/5

Rated: One Direction - Story of My Life

I'm a little overdue with this review, but it's here now! One Direction have returned, but did they ever go away, that is the question? They're back and they look grown up/hotter, just look at Louis' new smack head style facial hair! Or perhaps he's channeling the Musketeers? What is certain is that their new single from upcoming studio album Midnight Memories, 'Story of My Life', is amazing. Yes, I said it. Amazing. Brilliant. At moments, exhilarating.

The song is backed with a folksy guitar arrangement (not quite Mumford & Sons though), before kicking into a heady pop-folk cocktail of guitars and drums. It's a pleasant affair, with Harry's vocals shining on the ridiculously catchy chorus, but he usually takes the helm with gusto anyway. Have a look at the video too, it's lovely. The above comes from a non 1D-er. If they keep releasing songs this good, I could be swayed.

5/5

Rated: Jessie J - Thunder

It's impossible to please some people. No one knows this better than Jessie J. She's one of the UK's most successful musical exports and she's one of the few pop singers around at the moment you could call a proper artist. With her massive pipes and roster of well written pop songs it's going to take a lot to stop her. Her latest album Alive is great as far as quality is concerned and a big step forward with more grown up material.

New single 'Thunder' may be her best single to date. It opens with a throbbing beat before exploding into a chorus fit for Wembley. Her vocals are on point, as usual, and it's the first time in a while she's sung about something other than how amazing her life is as a pop star (as lovely as that is to hear) and playground rooted anthems about being individual and enjoying yourself. Definite contender for my top 25 songs of 2013!

5/5

Rated: Mariah Carey - The Art of Letting Go

It was always going to be tough to top the incredible '#Beautiful', but Mariah's giving it a try anyway with her new single 'The Art of Letting Go'. It sure isn't as catchy as its predecessor, but it's not shit. Adding to the heavy ballad roster this singer's built up over her career, the song is stripped back to a light violin and piano arrangement. It's nicely sung, but it lacks a hook, something a song just can't succeed without in a chart filled with so many hooks you come out looking like a colander. The finale is quite strong, but for the memorable part of a song to be at the end, you're really asking for trouble.

2/5

Rated: Little Mix - Salute

There was never any question that Little Mix should have won their turn in the Xfactor. Since then they've had a top 5 album here, a top 5 album in America and at the same time broken the record held by the Spice Girls. In just over a year they've achieved over 3 million record sales and become one of Britain's most popular pop acts. Their music's been great so far, but it's time to grow up a bit.

Following on from their debut album DNA, they're back with sophomore album Salute. This new album has a maturer sound, more confident vocal arrangements and some of the best chorus' you'll hear this year. Lead single 'Move' wasn't love at first listen, more like 3rd. That being said, it's definitely love now. It's a funky pop track with a throbbing bass line, an intricate & unconventional structure and more sass than we've heard from Little Mix before. When you compare this to its competition in the charts, it's the most standout track available at the moment. 

The first thing I thought after playing through Salute for the 1st time was, Destiny's Child. The harmonies are akin to those of the three leading ladies of girl group pop/rnb. Tracks like 'Salute' and 'Nothing Feels Like You' feel like they could have been written for a later stage DC album. The latter starts off with a tribal drum arrangement and synths before exploding into a stunning soul packed chorus, becoming the album's most exciting track after 1 play. It's 'Boy' that really shows a DC influence though, with intricate rapid fire lyrics and a harmonious chorus. It never feels like they're trying to be Beyonce, Kelly & Michelle though. They perform each song with so much confidence it'd be impossible to deny them ownership of this more grown up, fresh identity. 

There's a strong 90s rnb vibe on Salute. 'Competition' is a retro inspired track bursting with sassiness and 'Mr Loverboy' fires you right back in time with its streetwise bouncy production and incredible vocal arrangement. This retro undertone will certainly gain them a more mature fan base - it definitely takes me back and the self assurance levels are sent skyward as the girls confidently sing on 'About the Boy'.

Salute wouldn't be complete without some ballads. The girls' new found maturity coupled with insanely good writing and production makes these some of the best ballads you'll hear for years to come. They sing about relationship breakdowns and emotional hardship on 'These Four Walls', the most stripped moment on Salute, which features an exhilarating finale and an impressive performance from Perry. It's 'Little Me' that really takes things up to the next level though, with a bridge that teases something special is coming and oh shit does it come. 

If you're one of the people who said you'd never listen to a full Little Mix album, then you could have skipped through some of DNA. However, Salute stands out so strikingly from its peer albums it's a real surprise of 2013 and I defy you not to enjoy it. There's not one filler, not one mediocre track. In fact all the tracks deserve at least 4 out of 5. If there was an album that could reestablish the girl group as a necessity of contemporary pop music, Salute is that album.

5/5

Download: Little Me / Move / Nothing Feels Like You / Boy

Rated: Lily Allen - Hard Out Here

Lily Allen's been away for a while, popping out some babies and not recording music, or so she swore never to do again. This 'I won't make another record/I'm done with music but here I am with more new music LOL' approach is a bit tiresome, but when she does come back with new music it's usually good. New single 'Hard Out Here' is a fun foray into the unjust female pop world, with Lily singing about unreasonable expectations of women in the pop industry and inequality, of course laced with smart quips galore. "Forget your balls and grow a pair of tits/ It's hard out here for a bitch, bitch bitch bitch bitch" she bites over her now signature poppy production. It's catchy as hell, typically Lily Allen and it has a pretty standout satirical music video to boot. 

4/5

Rated: Katy B - 5am

After the incredible 'What Love is Made of' failed to trail blaze across the charts, things are looking a bit brighter for Katy B's new single '5am'. It's picking up heavy airplay on commercial radio stations and it's also very good. It's more mellow than its predecessor, with softer beats and a pulsating electronic arrangement. It's what she does best, easy but clever lyricism and digestible dance beats. If this is the pattern that her second album Danger will follow then it looks set to be bloody great.

4/5

Rated: Mutya Keisha Siobhan (MKS) - Sacred Three Tour Glasgow 2013

I always said I'd never be front row at a gig out of fear of being crushed to death by a raving crowd of maniacal fans. That changed when I walked into the O2 ABC in Glasgow last night and saw that we were amongst the first 20 people inside the venue and there it was, the perfect spot to fit two excited MKS fans. Our space at the Glasgow date of 'original Sugababes' trio Mutya Keisha Siobhan's first headline tour, Sacred Three. 

Things got off to a strong start with an impressive Mike Hough for support. His set was only about 15 minutes long but it was fitting as support to a group that pride themselves as a 'vocal focussed group'. After millions of record sales in their many guises as the Sugababes, these three proved over the 1+ hour set that they are the strongest incarnation of the iconic brand, in presence, like-ability & in vocal talent. The lights dimmed and 'Promises' kicked in as an intro track before the girls had even stepped on stage. It's a fitting flashback to their debut album One Touch, an album so underrated it pains me. The synths start popping and swishing right before the iconic production of 'Overload' comes into ear shot and the crowd go crazy. Mutya's in the tiniest shorts known to man, they must be custom made because I have never seen anything quite like them. Siobhan is carrying a mass of red hair on her catwalk ready frame & Keisha is looking smoking hot, as always. Mutya sits closest to us, facing me head on and sends a cheeky wave of acknowledgement (Instagram proving its social worth!). As predicted, their singing abilities haven't lessened over the years. All three blend and harmonise perfectly on a track that is as timeless as their talent. The nostalgia keeps flowing with an amazing performance of early single 'Run for Cover'. 

I never doubted Siobhan could fill the role of Heidi on the later 'generation' of Sugababes' tracks and

her input on classics 'Hole in the Head' and 'Stronger' act as a firm reminder of just how incredible a singer she is. The former got the crowd heavily involved in a sing along and a standard 'who can sing/shout the loudest' contest. The latter was a gig highlight, powerfully sung and startling in a live setting, Siobhan's take on Heidi's mid section sending the die hard fans into a state of hysteria. Mutya and Keisha applauding her from the side was a nice gesture too, making it clear these girls really do get on well. 

The first new MKS song we get to hear is 'Boys', a poppier affair than their 'debut' single 'Flatline'. It's fun, catchy and perhaps the most 'pop' sound we're going to get on their upcoming album. This is followed by Sia penned 'I'm Alright', a song so well structured it deserves some sort of pop medal. 'You wanna know if I'm lonely/ well I've been alone now for years/ I've cried all my tears/ I'm Alright...' they sing over echoey production. It all fits so perfectly together it begs to be a single. 

We get thrust back into the past with a jaw dropping rendition of 'Too Lost in You', Mutya stealing the focus with her stunning solo segment. We get pulled forward again with new song 'Love Me Hard', an understated track with a smooth soulful chorus; it'll be interesting to hear this translate into a studio recording. Keisha's solo performance is mind blowing on this one and when she hit those high notes I felt like I'd been kicked in the balls. The crowd chants for 'No Regrets', popularised by an acoustic performance in the Google+ sessions. The album version of this song is suitable for a slow dance with its mid tempo pace and yes, the vocals were of course amazing. Again, Mutya's solo verse is so soulful and distinct you realise that this woman deserves a spot in the Pop Hall of Fame for vocal talent alone. 

Things get wrapped up by two of their most memorable songs, 'Push the Button' and 'Freak Like Me'. This group really did (no matter what line up they had at the time) write and release some of the greatest pop songs of our generation. You actually forget just how good songs like the above are until you hear them live and you remember dancing in your kitchen, perhaps doing the hand swish dance move for good measure (maybe, maybe not?). The three minxes and Mutya's hot pants (they might actually be shorter than hot pants?) dash of the stage, thanking everyone for a great night. We know you're coming back, don't bloody toy with us.

Of course they did come back for an encore. Three new songs, starting off with Kendrick Lamar rerecording 'Lay Down In Swimming Pools' and rumoured new single 'Today'. Both a brilliant build up to the moment all MKS fans have been waiting for, 'Flatline'. The fact it hit a peak of 50 on the charts is really sad, considering the amount of utter shit that makes its way to the upper reaches of the top 40. It at least deserved top 20, but hey ho, that's the way music is bought. I hope you can sleep with yourself knowing you bought some pish Pitbull single while real talent got overlooked. Anyway, 'Flatline' is mesmerising live. All the harmonies are on point and the crowd gets fully involved to the point it's hard to hear MKS. I even found myself acting out the military drum build up with my hands. 

I am of course biased when it comes to a review of an act I fully support. I would, however, never compromise objective opinion just because I like an artist. If this gig had been awful I would tell you, 'it was shite'. Thankfully, it wasn't. It was in fact, technically, one of the best gigs I've ever been to. This is based on stage presence, vocal ability and song quality. If the full MKS album is as good as the material I heard last night, it could very well be one of the most credible albums of 2014. If they decide to stick on a bonus disc of their greatest hits, featuring Siobhan instead of 'whoever' that would also make it an even more amazing purchase. I urge you to see them live, because they're the type of act that could sway even the most staunch skeptic with their solid harmonies. 

5/5

Rated: Lady Gaga - ARTPOP Review

'My Artpop could mean anything', sings Gaga on ARTPOP's title track. It's a strong track, opening with inklings of Madonna's Ray of Light before slipping into mid tempo Gaga gorgeousness. The song should reflect the quality of the entire body of work; it doesn't. This is an album so confused & directionless it causes physical pain in its worst moments. In its best moments though, it's bloody brilliant. 

Being Lady Gaga isn't a relatable concept. The reason I fell in love with her debut album The Fame was the fact that this was a pop star, a pure pop star with lots of really good pop songs. There wasn't anything overly pretentious about the music, it was just a plate of pop with some wacky visuals serving as a side dish. Then she got pretentious and started being 'artistic', swapped her disco sticks for pig's heads and produced a not very good song by herself. This song, 'Venus' wasn't received well by fans when it was chosen as the 2nd single release. Thankfully this heinous decision was overruled and a much better song got released instead and did quite well. In comparison to some of the album though, 'Venus' is only mildly shit.

Lead single 'Applause' was a good way to sate her hungry fans and is akin to the catchy pop artistry of her past. The song faired well on the charts, not a number 1, but a success all the same. It's a shame that this isn't the intro song to the album. Instead we have 'Aura'... what do you say about 'Aura'? It's certainly something? It's, err, fucking insane? Those are both very valid points and yes, on first listen I was actually horrified (seeing your mum naked horrified). However, once you get past the structureless arrangement you reach a pretty hypnotic chorus that is unfortunately bookended by abrasive electronic rumbles. This roar of electronics is also a fault of  'Swine', which actually has some interesting lyricism and production... it's a shame that the two don't meld well together. 

The misfires continue with 'Manicure', 'Donatella', 'Fashion!', 'Mary Jane Holland' & 'Jewels n' Drugs'. 'Manicure' is the least bad and serves as a welcome break from electro pop production and after repeated listens becomes one of the album's stronger tracks. 'Donatella' & 'Fashion!' are both pointless. The latter is a disappointment considering that Gaga recorded a song of the same name minus the '!' years ago which was actually a lot of fun, and 'Jewels n' Drugs' is perhaps the worst song on the entire album. It could even be a contender for most annoying song of the year. 

I thought it would be good to get the bad bits out of the way first, so you finish this review with some hope. ARTPOP isn't the complete festering pile of faecal matter it could have been. Songs like 'G.U.Y', the title track and 'Sexxx Dreams' make a play-through worth while. 'Sexxx Dreams' is a triumph, a song so self assured it demands to be a future single release. 'I lay in bed, I touch myself & think of you...' she harmonises over thumping electro beats on a song about erotic dreams of either her gay male friend or one of her girlfriends. The verses are half spoken/half beautifully sung but the bridge slides into pure gorgeous melody before the incredible chorus comes into earshot. It's only matched by the startlingly good second single 'Do What U Want' featuring R Kelly. I'd go as far as saying these are in the top 10 Gaga songs of all time. 

The album closes with two ballads and 'Applause'. 'Dope' is another promo single and is a complete U turn in sound. It's piano lead with some intense vocals and is the most vulnerable we have ever heard Gaga sound. It's 'Gypsy' that serves as a surprise album highlight. Opening with a piano solo, it seamlessly flows into an upbeat pop number, as Gaga sings 'I don't wanna be alone forever but I love gypsy life'. It's packed with euphoric energy, but none of the abrasiveness of the album's poorer tracks and Gaga's voice sounds incredible.

A 15 track album should really be an album with 15 solid songs on it. You're always bound to find a filler somewhere on a pop record, but the terrible moments on ARTPOP can't even be called fillers because I genuinely believe Gaga thought they were good ideas. Of the 15 tracks, 8 are good to brilliant, the other 7 are far below par. An EP would have been a much better idea, or perhaps taking the time to not record 7 ear stabbing songs. That said, the 8 strong songs are worth the listen. With tracks like 'Sexxx Dreams', Do What U Want' and 'Gypsy' the album can't be called a complete disaster. ARTPOP is just bit messy.

Download: Sexxx Dreams / Do What U Want / Gypsy / Dope

2/5

Rated: Lady Gaga - Top 10 songs so far...

Things have gone a bit Gaga crazy over the past week. With singles becoming non singles and non singles becoming singles because the original single was shite and lots of wacky public appearances, one where she looked like an alien dressed in a doily, it must be time for a new Lady Gaga album. As a sort of commemoration to her brilliant back catalogue of work and also a reflection to bring hope that her newest collection will be just as good as her earlier songs, I've compiled a ranked list of the top 10 Gaga songs. I predict there will be some 'little monster anarchy' in response to this post. I promise to wear my stab proof vest to work tomorrow:

1. Bad Romance

2. Poker Face

3. Judas

4. Paparazzi

5. Just Dance

6. Edge Of Glory

7. Lovegame

8. Do What U Want

9. Alejandro

10. Schiebe 

Queue the torrents of death threats for not including 'Born This Way' and 'Applause'. 

Rated: Ciara - Overdose

There is a God and do you know why? Because Ciara is releasing 'Overdose' as her next single 1 week before Xmas. I think Jesus would have been pretty happy with that. Lifted from her latest & awesome collection Ciara, 'Overdose' is the most poppy piece of fabulousness this artist has ever released. It's funky, it's perfect for a dance floor, it's worthy of a performance slot on the Xfactor final and it's better than most of the songs released this year. The artwork is pretty graphic; I hope the video follows through.

5/5