Rated: Geri Halliwell - Half Of Me

This is how I felt when I first saw/heard this:

Good on Geri for at least attempting to sing in the studio, let alone record a new song and perform it live in front of thousands at a live event in Australia (it was like an F1 pile up followed by an atom bomb filled with shit). Not so good on her for coming out with this, 'Half Of Me'. One of those awful songs, built up to simplicity, that sticks in your head and just won't leave... ever. It's infectious, but it's also appalling pop music. "I gave you the finger/you took me to dinner/and you made me laugh" she 'sings' over Poundland production. The whole affair isn't helped by the video, a right shit storm of a thing that had me cringing in my seat. I almost wished I was dead.

1/5

PS: I try to avoid the zero mark where possible and in this instance, just for effort and out of pity, she gets 1.

Rated: Lady Gaga - Do What U Want Review

R Kelly's ripping off Rihanna's "Eh Eh Eh Eh" on Lady Gaga's new promo single 'Do What U Want', but we'll over look this, for now. This is the moment we've been waiting for from Gaga, something that harks back to her FAME days but moves forward far enough to not sound like a rip off of its predecessors. 'You can't have my heart & you won't use my mind but do what u want with my body' she roars over a metallic rumble and thumping synths. It's a convincing collaboration and it's the finest song she's released since 'Judas'. It's unfortunate it can't chart due to the manner of its release, because 'Venus' is a sad shit of a song in comparison.

4.5/5

Rated: Lady Gaga - Venus Review

'Venus' is rammed with electronic synths, robotic vocal tweaks, & so many pop theatrics that it's hard to focus on the lyrical content of the song itself. It's certainly random and it's definitely camp. The verses are quirky but the lyricism is to its own detriment; it just doesn't stick. There's a pleasant enough chorus, but it's just not enough. Even the chorus can't save 'Venus' from falling into wacky 'album track' territory and the song ignites concern that her upcoming collection ARTPOP is going to be just a bit too silly to match up to the quality pop of her past. I'm keeping my fingers crossed this is as shit as the new music gets. Crossed really fucking tight.

1.5/5

Rated: Katy Perry - Prism Review

It must be tough to focus on your 5.5million album sales and your record breaking single releases when your husband's just filed for divorce. Your tour collapses amidst your own personal emotional meltdown and your career is sent into turmoil. Singles stop being released, album promotion halts, and record company execs panic about the next lucrative move for you as an artist. This is what one would expect to happen when you've been dumped by a douche you doted on, however not Katy Perry. Her tour continued, her album floated around the top 40, 3 years after its original release, and she broke the record for a female artist with the most billboard number 1 singles from a studio album (5!). You couldn't be blamed for saying 'Katy Perry is the ultimate pop star of our time'. 

Picking herself up and dusting off the emotional debris of the past year, Perry releases her 4th studio album, Prism. It's a title about 'letting light back into her life and seeing herself again', aw that's nice. This is an album destined for big things before it's even been heard; Perry being one of those incredibly likeable artists that everyone wants to do well regardless of how revolutionary (or not) her music is. The tone of the album is set by the title, there's a lot of self reflection, emotion and exposé. It's not all dark and brooding though, there's the trademark Perry Pop that's made her back catalogue so enjoyable. 

Prism is an interesting collection of genres and sounds. Lead single 'Roar' is an incredibly infectious song, about self empowerment and personal growth. This is matched by the luscious hip hop production of sassy 'Dark Horse' feat Juicy J, a song so different from the rest of the album it stands out like dick on a cake. From hip hop to the Eastern sitar and drums of 'Legendary Lovers', which features a likeable chorus but lacks a solid hook. 

There's a retro sound to a few of the tracks on Prism, most notably 'Birthday', one of the album's most enjoyable moments. It's one of those ridiculously catchy songs you'd only find on one of Perry's albums. 'So make a wish/I'll make it like your birthday everyday' she sings over funky disco beats that make you wish you were in a roller disco. The retro feel is extended with 90s dance inspired 'Walking On Air', which features a strong vocal performance from Katy and euphoric production from pop genius' Max Martin and Klas Åhlund. 

It wouldn't be a Katy Perry album without some frivolous pop moments. 'International Smile' and 'This Is How We Do' are both likeable tracks, the former a little too random/silly/pointless for its own good and the latter a bouncy number with great 'I don't give a fuck' attitude. It's nice to have these breaks in emotional exposé, however sometimes the break isn't always necessary. 

The second half of Prism is far more emotionally revealing than the first half. It's less fun and more 'here's some really dark shit'. I exaggerate a bit, as the album isn't as dark as it was made out to be in early promotion. The darkest moments are 'Ghost' and 'By the Grace of God'. Both are lovely ballads, showcasing vocal prowess from an artist often chastised for her vocal limitations. The former is about her divorce and it does make you feel quite bad for her, particularly when she sings 'I never thought you could be so cold', following an earlier lyric about being divorced by text. What a twat. The latter track has a positive overtone, but does suggest that this artist was on the brink of suicide during her marriage breakdown. She sings about lying on the bathroom floor, thanks her sister for helping her through a troubled time and then says 'I wasn't going to let love take me out that way'. It's a poignant moment for the singer, perhaps her most personal to date.

Prism is a strong 4th outing for Katy Perry. She's certainly moved on from her last behemoth album Teenage Dream, this is apparent just from the lyrical content alone. I've never felt her albums contain any filler as generally her song writing abilities don't allow this to happen. It's not perfect though, songs like 'International Smile' and 'Love Me' aren't standouts, but for a 28 year old it's a great showcase of her pop talents. Is it her best album so far? That's a toughy because Teenage Dream, the negative reviews aside, was & still is a genius pop album (I say it was a concept album). Prism is far more grown up, but it's nice to see she hasn't forgotten how to have fun and hasn't descended into an overwrought with misery musical stasis. Welcome back Katy.

3.5/5

Download: Roar/ Birthday/ Ghost/ By the Grace of God/ Dark Horse

Rated: Sia - Elastic Heart & a few suggestions from the past

I'm a bit stressed thinking about how well known/popular Sia is becoming this year. The stress comes from the certainty that people will respect her only for her song writing and features on massive dances tracks and film soundtracks, and not for the incredible 3 albums that precede these ventures. If you haven't listened to Sia's solo work before, you need to do so now before it's too late and you are sucked into the David Guetta coven. 

She's got a new single on the Hunger Games: Catching Fire soundtrack called 'Elastic Heart', featuring Diplo and The Weeknd. It retains the sometimes quirky production of her back catalogue and it certainly shows off what an incredibly talented vocalist she is. If any song was a good starting point 'Elastic Heart' is it. 

If by any chance you are interested in hearing some of her past works, here are 5 suggestions for you to get hammering into Spotify:

1. Clap Your Hands
2. The Girl You Lost to Cocaine
3. Breathe Me 
4. I'm In Here
5. Hurting Me Now

Rated: The Saturdays - Disco Love

The Saturdays have done alright, for a group of unremarkable singers/performers with little to no gift for song writing. That said, they've squeezed out some pretty amazing songs during their time in the UK girl band pop spotlight. Their new track 'Disco Love' follows on from the annoying-as-fuck 'Gentlemen', which I hated with every ounce of my soul. Thankfully, this new single perfect pop. If you took a standard pop single and dipped it in Nutella, then rolled it in white chocolate chips and those sugary silver ball things, 'Disco Love' is what you'd get. Sweet, sickly, and so bloody worth every minute.

4.5/5

Rated: Rihanna - What Now

Here's a photo of Rihanna bent over, just cos.

Another day goes by, another Rihanna single gets released. Her new song 'What Now' is one of the highlights from her latest album Unapologetic, an album I wasn't too favourable about upon its release; my mind hasn't changed. The song is strong with a booming, passion filled chorus and a rock synth production worthy of arenas the world over. It's no 'Diamonds', but it's better than the shit stain that was/is 'Right Now'.

3 / 5