Britney Spears: Piece of Me "live" in Las Vegas

Britney Spears used to sing live, sometimes. She gargled her way through an excruciating live rendition of her hit 'Everytime' on her Onyx Hotel Tour, something I witnessed before my very eyes and ears. At least she could be patted on the back for effort, perhaps even ballsiness for even attempting such a bold move when her singing voice isn't particularly...strong. So when it was announced she was going to take up residency in Las Vegas across the latter stage of 2013 and throughout 2014, I couldn't be blamed for presuming it would be a mime fest. 

Her team tried to quash this idea that resonated in global pop consciousness with statements along the lines of 'she's ready to sing' and 'her voice is better than ever' (words to that effect). So, a flash of doubt darted across my mind and I thought "OK, maybe she will do her job and actually sing live. Maybe she will stop being lazy or at least hold her hands up and admit that she's a shit singer'. I was wrong to doubt myself, oh fucking wrong I was! I owe myself a big fat apology. 

There she goes again, with the fucking arms!

Her residency kicked off on Boxing Day 2013. Predictably, the set is quite great. It's brimming with life, movement and flashing lights, glitz and glamour. It's all very exciting, expensive and well put together. Just for the record, I wasn't there, but I have seen enough YouTube evidence and photographic evidence to back myself up. The epic club worthy synths of Work Bitch kick in and the show begins. The dancers work very hard throughout, cutting fine shapes, defying gravity and synchronising perfectly. Who is this blonde who has seemingly intruded on what is a fun dance show with an entertaining backing track? Oh wait, (lol) it's Britney Spears! In fairness, her energy is on point for the first 30 seconds of the performance and then, typically for this performer in this era of her career, her energy drops and the lazy arm focused dance moves commence. Her legs work out of time with the dancers and it's so obviously a lip sync session it's laughable (at least record a live backing track darling). 

 

From what I can gather, this is a trend throughout. She cracks out 4 of her most immense tracks, Baby One More Time/Oops! I Did It Again, Stronger and Crazy. This is the Britney people want to see and by 'people' I mean me. Again, another obviously lip synced segue commences with a medley of her two most well known hits. Gone are the dance routines of yesteryear and in are the arm movements, being carried by dancers and getting entangled in red cloth a la Rachel Stevens Sweet Dreams (My LA Ex). It's so lack lustre that if you put the track on in an old people's care home you'd get more energy out of it. The dancers again, work very hard and without their efforts this show would be a laughing stock. Thankfully, for Britney at least, the surrounding spectacle distracts everyone from her obvious attitude of 'I'm rich and bored and I really don't want to perform anymore'. There isn't even a hand-heart-pump dance move shoved in for nostalgia's sake on Oops. There are performances of non-singles from her brilliant Blackout album, but these could have been replaced with other hits like Overprotected and instead of the song equivalent of the turd Lucky, she could have shoved in Born To Make You Happy or at least a superior track from one of her later albums. 

 

She closes off the show with pop rave tune Til' The World Ends. It's a superb club song marred by a lifeless attempt at interacting with her dancers and a piss poor attempt at pretending to have fun. Yes, hands are in again, as are fist pumps and lots of jumping on the spot. Really, for an act who pretty much redefined pop music of the late 90s (that's questionable in itself - I think we have Max Martin to thank for that) and early 00s with songs and videos like Slave 4 U and Toxic, this is a really deflating Vegas residency which had it been done years ago could actually have been pretty incredible.

Rated i's Top 25 Songs of 2013

                    

http://open.spotify.com/user/primitive_/playlist/7JR93Xu9k1Ofy6YecbwL18

It's almost the end of another bloody year which means a new year is upon us and it will be filled with new, hopefully amazing music. It would be silly to go into 2014 without looking back at the best pop moments from the past 12 months. 2013 saw the release of a new Lady Gaga album, ARTPOP, which wasn't very good but created a lot of excitement all the same. We also got a new Katy Perry album in the shape of Prism and it wasn't perfect, but it was nice to have her back. There has been great new music from UK babe Katy B, proving that sticking to what you're good at can be a good thing. JT also rose from the pop ashes with a hugely successful album and equally as popular singles. Leona Lewis even out right some wrongs with a superb Christmas album! It's almost too much to take in!

The year didn't just have plenty for 'pop' fans, there have also been plenty of brilliant, slightly more 'alternative' tracks/albums. VV Brown made a comeback with the surprisingly incredible Samson & Delilah. Kanye West kept rap fans happy with his new album Yeezus which contains elements of punk-rap and newcomers HAIM proved that playing your own instruments and writing your own 
alt-pop songs is still cool and can produce amazing results.

The big news though, you know what's coming, was the surprise release of Beyoncé's 5th studio album Beyoncé. It turned out to be a surprise in more ways than one and is her best album to date (fact). If it had come out a few weeks earlier I would have included a couple of the songs on here because they really are that good, but it wouldn't be fair so late in the year and so close to the publishing of this post. So, Beyoncé, release some amazing cuts next year and you will surely find yourself on this list.

Kick back and have a read through my top 25 singles from 2013. There may be some surprises in there, there may not. We know MKS are going to fare well don't we? Here we go:

                   

TWENTYFIVE. Heart Attack - Demi Lovato    

A far cry from the antics of Miley, Demi Lovato maintained pure pop in 2013 and gained herself some new fans in the process. Brilliant track Heart Attack hooked thousands when it came out earlier this year, with its heaving pop production and catchy lyrics. It was just what the charts needed, frivolous pop fun from a well respected vocalist.

TWENTYFOUR. You (Ha ha ha) - Charli XCX         

She's not very well known at all bar a credit on Icona Pop's mammoth hit I love It. She does have an album of her own though and it's quite good. You is one of the quirkiest tracks from the album, sampling Gold Panda's eastern sitar arrangement to add a bit more flavour to her electronic synth stylings. This is begging for a club spin.

TWENTYTHREE. Can't Hold Us - Macklemore ft Ryan Lewis 

His second single from The Heist, this is a Brazilian flavoured, dance floor filling extravaganza that is literally impossible to resist. It's not as tongue in cheek as Thrift Shop but what it lacks in humour it makes up for with sheer ass shaking genius.            

TWENTYTWO. Thunder - Jessie J

Jessie J came back in 2013 with her second album Alive, releasing new hit singles Wild and It's My Party. She decided for a third single though that she'd prove her new album isn't all about being famous and being amazing. Thunder is a thumping pop anthem with some of the best vocals of her career on the best song of her career so far (bar Domino).               

TWENTYONE. The Apple - VV Brown 

This is one of those songs that will struggle because the artist it's attached to has a minimal public profile. It's the most commercial cut from her new concept album Samson & Delilah but retains enough 'alternative' flavour to keep the snobs happy. With its heaving beats and synths, along with an opera inspired vocal, this won't grab everyone at first but give it a chance and you'll find yourself very surprised.

TWENTY. I Love It - Icona Pop       

A kinda surprise number 1 in the UK, I love It put this dj duo on the pop map. It opens with a standout ignition riff that repeats throughout the song and bursts into a roaring, chanting chorus about throwing someone's "shit down the stairs". Now that is stuff, not actual shit... I think? It's doubtful they could ever match the success of this single. It could be a trip to the one hit wonder hall of fame for these ladies.

NINETEEN. Black Skinhead - Kanye West

It's the only time you'll get some solid punk-rap in 2013. It opens sounding a bit like a Marylin Manson track before erupting into an aggressive race rap. I love it and I am not a Kanye West fan. He might be a dick but the guy sure does know his way around a recording studio. Now, to erase Bound 2 from my mind.

EIGHTEEN. Hold On, We're Going Home - Drake       

Drake could have struggled to match the awesomeness of Take Care but thankfully he didn't. This is an incredible R&B dance track and it's actually quite beautiful to behold. Drake shows off his actual singing/not rapping talent and his voice sounds pretty nice. This song shows exactly why people like Rihanna and Beyoncé want him on their albums. 

SEVENTEEN. 5am - Katy B     

5am is the second cut from her new album Little Red. It reinforces the promise made by the lead single What Love Is Made of, with gorgeous dance production and wonderful vocal control throughout. It's another should have been top ten song, but we can at least rest assured that Katy is still writing brilliant music. Just wait till you hit the chorus, wow.

SIXTEEN. Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke ft. Pharrell  
Controversy aside, Blurred Lines is a damn well constructed song with a disco-R&B sound. It won't inspire any positive response from feminists, but it's so catchy I defy even the haters of the track's controversial lyricism not to sing along. It's the biggest selling song of the year, so it must be pleasing someone. "Everybody get up!"

Beyoncé - Beyoncé (Album Review)

Beyoncé is the most captivating popstar around. She's one of few contemporary popstars who have managed to command the respect of music snobs, mainly due to her wildly entertaining Glastonbury set and ridiculously well produced tours; oh and of course the hit songs she's released over the years. She's maintained an element of mystique, keeping her private life under wraps and even when we are given a glimpse, it's just 'enough'. She's the ultimate musical persona of our generation and as her surprise fifth studio album Beyoncé illustrates, she isn't about to drop her crown any time soon. Beyoncé could very well be the album of 2013, no small feat considering it dropped 3 weeks before year end. It's the most experimental endeavour this artist has ever taken. It's packed with some truly beautiful electro-R&B tracks, dark piano balladry and even a naughty disco number.

As a result of this change in direction I'm sure she'll lose a few die hard booty shaking fans who were eager for another Run The World (Girls). As good as that song was after some time to grow, it wasn't anything we hadn't heard from Beyoncé before. There are only three songs on Beyoncé that remotely sound like a classic 'Beyoncé' moment. There are plenty of flirtatious lyrics and chat about her "phatty" (arse to you and me), only this time round these moments sound more authentic, honest and erotic. This is Beyoncé at her most sexy, most convincing and also at her most vocally impressive.

Britney Spears - Perfume music video

The video for Britney Spears' new single Perfume, penned by Sia (genius behind Titanium and Diamonds) popped out of the pop womb for the first time at the start of the week. It's a less silly song than Work Bitch, but it's quite nice to hear her sing something that actually has some sort of meaning behind it. Let's face it, Britney is no vocalist and this song shows just how limited her range is. It's a decent midtempo ballad and is one of the better songs from her disappointing album Britney Jean, but it's certainly not that memorable.

3/5

Lana Del Rey's new album...

Is going to be called Ultraviolence. This could get too exciting. It's been such a long time since Born To Die was thrust into our lives and what a solid, wonderful thrust it was. Going by the demos that have been circulating her sophomore album is going to be one hell of a ride. Let's hope the below song Hollywood is one of the featured tracks & that the album is more Born To Die and less Paradise:

 

 

Rated: Leona Lewis - Christmas, With Love

Leona Lewis kind of bombed a bit with her last album Glassheart. It wasn't that anyone wished her any level of failure (I don't think?), it was more that the music just wasn't what we expect from the singer who blew us off our feet with the likes of Bleeding Love and Run. That's not to say there weren't amazing songs on that album (Unlove Me & Trouble). It's never too late to make amends and that's just what she's doing with her newest album Christmas, With Love. 

Preceded by single One More Sleep, the album opens in true festive fashion with typical Christmas jingles and a Motown arrangement pulled together by Kylie & One Direction producer Biffco. It's a song the Supremes would have been proud to call their own and almost hits the bar set by Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas Is You. This is what the world has been hungering after for years, a new & good Xmas pop song in the same stylings as the classic behemoth festive hit. The album contains a total of three original songs, Leona credited in the 'writers' section. Your Hallelujah is a down tempo, piano lead number, opened with some understated vocals from Leona. The third is Mr Right, similar to the lead single in pace but even more incredible in quality. This is certainly an album highlight. 

Then we have the classic Christmas cover versions. Winter Wonderland is predictably great, begging to be blasted on a snowy drive home and Silent Night is a semi acapella beauty with flawless vocals. It's staple Christmas tracks I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday & Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) that really shine through. Not only does this album show Leona's ability to carry a pop classic, it also proves her to be one of the most incredible vocal talents around. Ave Maria is perhaps one of the most beautiful performances you'll hear during December. Leona is unrecognisable as she sings the Schubert masterpiece like an adept classical singer. 

The beauty of Christmas, With Love is that it remains loyal to the iconic originals. It doesn't fiddle with song structures, nor does it do anything over the top. It's pure, shameless Christmas joy presented in 10 tracks by one of the world's strongest vocal performers. If this is an apology album from Leona, promising she's going to get back on the right road with her future 5th album then we are going to hear something very special indeed. This could be the best Christmas album since Mariah Carey's Merry Christmas.

5/5

Rated: Britney Spears - Britney Jean

Britney Spears is one of the greatest pop stars of all time, there's no denying that. Her influence, even if she was controlled and directed by record company execs, on late 90s and early 2000s pop is unquestionable. She's released iconic songs like 'Baby One More Time', 'Oops! I Did It Again', 'Slave 4 U' & 'Toxic', and she's sold over 100 million albums in 15 years. So when she comes back with new material all pop fans sit in perspiring anticipation for another "epic" moment from the once princess of pop. 

New album Britney Jean has been promoted, although minimally, as her most personal record to date. A concept record about the loneliness of the pop industry, apparently. She's roped in some of the biggest producers in the world too, like Madonna's pal William Orbit, 'Million Voices' anthem maker Otto Knows, Diplo and of course her new bff Will.i.am. 

The album is largely a dance album. Lead single Work Bitch, produced by Otto and Will.i.am is a club ready anthem with euphoric electronic dance production and ridiculous lyricism. Britney whips out her 'best' English accent, something I'm beginning to think Will.i.am is responsible for and demands you call her 'the bubbler' because she'll make you 'bubble up'. It's one of the stupidest songs of 2013 and of her career (bar 'Lucky') but it's so infectious and so likeable it's infuriating. The silliness continues with uber robotic It Should Be Easy, featuring Will.i.am. The overuse of vocoder distracts from what could actually have been a solid dance track - thankfully the vocal-less dance segments are enjoyable. The dance productions continue with Body Ache, a less silly song than Work Bitch but with a less enjoyable dance segue. We do get a little blast of what Britney calls Hip Hop, but we'll call it Brit Hop, with Tik Tik Boom featuring T.I. It suffers from over production on the vocal front, but the beats on the chorus are brilliant.

Orbit production Alien is the most blatant attempt at exploring the concept of a lonely pop life. It's actually quite a strong song after repeated listens, with some lovely Orbit trademark sounds. The problem is it could have just been pushed that little bit further. Whether this failure to quite hit the 'perfect' mark is down to Britney's inability to be charismatic or Orbit's production eludes me. Still this is one of the album's best tracks. Til It's Gone similarly looks at being alone, however on a more personal than professional level. It's an album highlight, with less intrusive vocal manipulation and some trademark Britney croaks surrounded by brilliant dance synths. 

Buzz song Passenger is another enjoyable moment on Britney Jean, but it is in dire need of a 15 second cut from the vocal empty intro. It's a mid-tempo love song with a pretty strong hook and pleasant poppy production from Diplo. I did expect something far more intense from a producer of his calibre though... Following on from this is the absolutely awful duet with her little sister Jamie Lynn Chillin' With You, who is actually a better singer than her mega star sibling but has about as much charisma as door knob. Couple that with shit on a stick production and you have the turd of Britney Jean.

A Britney Spears album is not complete without a down tempo track, or two. The Britney Spears ballad can never really be a proper ballad due to, err, vocal limitations. Britney Jean has a couple of these 'ballads' in the form of Perfume & Don't Cry. The latter is mediocre, with yet more overuse of vocoder marring any credibility the song could have had. Sia penned Perfume is a lot stronger, with little to no vocal manipulations or silly effects. It's a strong enough track, with a catchy chorus but it's not one of Sia's best works.

When Britney Spears released Blackout she paved the way for electronic pop to rise up and take over the charts. Unfortunately, Britney Jean isn't going to be setting any trends, nor is it going to have a number 1 single (I doubt). There isn't one 5 star track here, but there are a few that with a bit more attention and perhaps some fresh producers could have been very strong. As has become the trend in Britney Spears' work, this album is overflowing with dance floor beats and over production. There are some songs that are so vocally manipulated they may as well have built a robot and stuck it in the studio. The notion that this is a concept album is completely absurd; a concept album has a recurring theme/message, this does not. If you want a concept album listen to VV Brown's Samson & Delilah. Britney Jean is an album that hinders its own success with production greed, Britney's complete lack of charisma & personality, and far too much Will.i.am. 

Download: Alien / Perfume / Work Bitch / Til It's Gone

2/5

Rated: Natalia Kills - Trouble

Quite often there are good pop stars, who aren't really pop stars in the full sense of the words. They write, produce and perform some very good pop songs, but too few people raise their heads to pay attention and it all fades away into the iTunes search ether. This can be said of the, at times, very good Natalia Kills. Her first proper studio album Perfectionist sold a moderate volume, but 129 in the UK charts isn't going to get you the recognition that's afforded to your peers Rihanna and Rita Ora. Alas, at least you have a major role to play in the completion of your work; just sayin'. 

At 27, Natalia Kills does deserve some recognition, even if it is just for effort. Her new album Trouble is much darker than Perfectionist and feels less contrived. Gone are the pleasant yet common sounding tracks like 'Free' and in are dirty electronic beats and rock riffs. Trouble is a mashup of electronic and rock influences, with 27 years of pain and traumatic domestic experiences thrown into the mix. 

Problem and Boy's Don't Cry show off the sassy side of Natalia Kills; in a nutshell they're songs about fucking without feelings. The former is an album standout, with a killer hook and club ready rough rock-hop synths. The latter opens with an electric guitar riff, before popping into a playground chant about getting nailed and leaving a guy to deal with his emotional attachment. "I'll be yours tonight but don't hold me too tight/ When we say goodbye remember boys don't cry" she sings on a fun turn on gender stereotypes, putting the guy in a role that's typically stamped on females. This 'fucking' theme continues on Gwen Stefani inspired Rabbit Hole, which sounds like a 'Hollaback Girl' clone. It's not an instant like, but after 3 or 4 plays you'll find yourself getting quite addicted to self assurance Natalia Kills pours into her semi rap verses. The decadent album content flounders on Controversy though. Although it has some of the most fun production on the album, the point of the song never really shows itself and the whole affair seems needless. 

There are a few ballads on Trouble and they serve as a break from the roaring electronics, but they're the weakest moments on the album. Watching You is hard to get into and seems a bit washed out and the feeling extends to Devils Don't Fly, but thankfully the piano lead Marlboro Lights is a surprise album favourite, with a confident and authentic vocal performance and some lovely lyrics to boot. The lesson is that Natalia Kills is certainly not a ballad artist.

Things get incredibly good with Saturday Night, by far the album's strongest track and one of my top 25 tracks of 2013 (teaser). It's an anthemic track, with a wavering 80s synth and pounding beats layered amidst the revealing lyrics about her father's alcoholism and domestic abuse of her mother: "Momma you're beautiful tonight/ Movie star hair and that black eye/ You can't even notice it when you smile so hard through a heart felt lie..." The quality continues with Outta Time & Daddy's Girl. The latter another standout track with some brilliant lyrical structures and a more poppy production than the rest of the album.

Trouble probably won't hit the top 10, not that it doesn't deserve to, it is certainly good enough. The problem for Natalia Kills is that although her songs are, at times, brilliant the majority of them are not loveable on first listen. This could be down to the fact that the lyrics are a bit too intricate/clever, making it hard to pick up on first play. Once you do though, once you get that hook you really do discover something/someone quite special. I advise anyone who hasn't explored this artist before to give her a chance because her honesty & delivery warrant attention.

Download: Saturday Night / Daddy's Girl / Problem / Boys Don't Cry

3.5/5

Rated: One Direction - Story of My Life

I'm a little overdue with this review, but it's here now! One Direction have returned, but did they ever go away, that is the question? They're back and they look grown up/hotter, just look at Louis' new smack head style facial hair! Or perhaps he's channeling the Musketeers? What is certain is that their new single from upcoming studio album Midnight Memories, 'Story of My Life', is amazing. Yes, I said it. Amazing. Brilliant. At moments, exhilarating.

The song is backed with a folksy guitar arrangement (not quite Mumford & Sons though), before kicking into a heady pop-folk cocktail of guitars and drums. It's a pleasant affair, with Harry's vocals shining on the ridiculously catchy chorus, but he usually takes the helm with gusto anyway. Have a look at the video too, it's lovely. The above comes from a non 1D-er. If they keep releasing songs this good, I could be swayed.

5/5

Rated: Jessie J - Thunder

It's impossible to please some people. No one knows this better than Jessie J. She's one of the UK's most successful musical exports and she's one of the few pop singers around at the moment you could call a proper artist. With her massive pipes and roster of well written pop songs it's going to take a lot to stop her. Her latest album Alive is great as far as quality is concerned and a big step forward with more grown up material.

New single 'Thunder' may be her best single to date. It opens with a throbbing beat before exploding into a chorus fit for Wembley. Her vocals are on point, as usual, and it's the first time in a while she's sung about something other than how amazing her life is as a pop star (as lovely as that is to hear) and playground rooted anthems about being individual and enjoying yourself. Definite contender for my top 25 songs of 2013!

5/5

Rated: Mariah Carey - The Art of Letting Go

It was always going to be tough to top the incredible '#Beautiful', but Mariah's giving it a try anyway with her new single 'The Art of Letting Go'. It sure isn't as catchy as its predecessor, but it's not shit. Adding to the heavy ballad roster this singer's built up over her career, the song is stripped back to a light violin and piano arrangement. It's nicely sung, but it lacks a hook, something a song just can't succeed without in a chart filled with so many hooks you come out looking like a colander. The finale is quite strong, but for the memorable part of a song to be at the end, you're really asking for trouble.

2/5

Rated: Little Mix - Salute

There was never any question that Little Mix should have won their turn in the Xfactor. Since then they've had a top 5 album here, a top 5 album in America and at the same time broken the record held by the Spice Girls. In just over a year they've achieved over 3 million record sales and become one of Britain's most popular pop acts. Their music's been great so far, but it's time to grow up a bit.

Following on from their debut album DNA, they're back with sophomore album Salute. This new album has a maturer sound, more confident vocal arrangements and some of the best chorus' you'll hear this year. Lead single 'Move' wasn't love at first listen, more like 3rd. That being said, it's definitely love now. It's a funky pop track with a throbbing bass line, an intricate & unconventional structure and more sass than we've heard from Little Mix before. When you compare this to its competition in the charts, it's the most standout track available at the moment. 

The first thing I thought after playing through Salute for the 1st time was, Destiny's Child. The harmonies are akin to those of the three leading ladies of girl group pop/rnb. Tracks like 'Salute' and 'Nothing Feels Like You' feel like they could have been written for a later stage DC album. The latter starts off with a tribal drum arrangement and synths before exploding into a stunning soul packed chorus, becoming the album's most exciting track after 1 play. It's 'Boy' that really shows a DC influence though, with intricate rapid fire lyrics and a harmonious chorus. It never feels like they're trying to be Beyonce, Kelly & Michelle though. They perform each song with so much confidence it'd be impossible to deny them ownership of this more grown up, fresh identity. 

There's a strong 90s rnb vibe on Salute. 'Competition' is a retro inspired track bursting with sassiness and 'Mr Loverboy' fires you right back in time with its streetwise bouncy production and incredible vocal arrangement. This retro undertone will certainly gain them a more mature fan base - it definitely takes me back and the self assurance levels are sent skyward as the girls confidently sing on 'About the Boy'.

Salute wouldn't be complete without some ballads. The girls' new found maturity coupled with insanely good writing and production makes these some of the best ballads you'll hear for years to come. They sing about relationship breakdowns and emotional hardship on 'These Four Walls', the most stripped moment on Salute, which features an exhilarating finale and an impressive performance from Perry. It's 'Little Me' that really takes things up to the next level though, with a bridge that teases something special is coming and oh shit does it come. 

If you're one of the people who said you'd never listen to a full Little Mix album, then you could have skipped through some of DNA. However, Salute stands out so strikingly from its peer albums it's a real surprise of 2013 and I defy you not to enjoy it. There's not one filler, not one mediocre track. In fact all the tracks deserve at least 4 out of 5. If there was an album that could reestablish the girl group as a necessity of contemporary pop music, Salute is that album.

5/5

Download: Little Me / Move / Nothing Feels Like You / Boy

Rated: Lily Allen - Hard Out Here

Lily Allen's been away for a while, popping out some babies and not recording music, or so she swore never to do again. This 'I won't make another record/I'm done with music but here I am with more new music LOL' approach is a bit tiresome, but when she does come back with new music it's usually good. New single 'Hard Out Here' is a fun foray into the unjust female pop world, with Lily singing about unreasonable expectations of women in the pop industry and inequality, of course laced with smart quips galore. "Forget your balls and grow a pair of tits/ It's hard out here for a bitch, bitch bitch bitch bitch" she bites over her now signature poppy production. It's catchy as hell, typically Lily Allen and it has a pretty standout satirical music video to boot. 

4/5

Rated: Katy B - 5am

After the incredible 'What Love is Made of' failed to trail blaze across the charts, things are looking a bit brighter for Katy B's new single '5am'. It's picking up heavy airplay on commercial radio stations and it's also very good. It's more mellow than its predecessor, with softer beats and a pulsating electronic arrangement. It's what she does best, easy but clever lyricism and digestible dance beats. If this is the pattern that her second album Danger will follow then it looks set to be bloody great.

4/5

Rated: Mutya Keisha Siobhan (MKS) - Sacred Three Tour Glasgow 2013

I always said I'd never be front row at a gig out of fear of being crushed to death by a raving crowd of maniacal fans. That changed when I walked into the O2 ABC in Glasgow last night and saw that we were amongst the first 20 people inside the venue and there it was, the perfect spot to fit two excited MKS fans. Our space at the Glasgow date of 'original Sugababes' trio Mutya Keisha Siobhan's first headline tour, Sacred Three. 

Things got off to a strong start with an impressive Mike Hough for support. His set was only about 15 minutes long but it was fitting as support to a group that pride themselves as a 'vocal focussed group'. After millions of record sales in their many guises as the Sugababes, these three proved over the 1+ hour set that they are the strongest incarnation of the iconic brand, in presence, like-ability & in vocal talent. The lights dimmed and 'Promises' kicked in as an intro track before the girls had even stepped on stage. It's a fitting flashback to their debut album One Touch, an album so underrated it pains me. The synths start popping and swishing right before the iconic production of 'Overload' comes into ear shot and the crowd go crazy. Mutya's in the tiniest shorts known to man, they must be custom made because I have never seen anything quite like them. Siobhan is carrying a mass of red hair on her catwalk ready frame & Keisha is looking smoking hot, as always. Mutya sits closest to us, facing me head on and sends a cheeky wave of acknowledgement (Instagram proving its social worth!). As predicted, their singing abilities haven't lessened over the years. All three blend and harmonise perfectly on a track that is as timeless as their talent. The nostalgia keeps flowing with an amazing performance of early single 'Run for Cover'. 

I never doubted Siobhan could fill the role of Heidi on the later 'generation' of Sugababes' tracks and

her input on classics 'Hole in the Head' and 'Stronger' act as a firm reminder of just how incredible a singer she is. The former got the crowd heavily involved in a sing along and a standard 'who can sing/shout the loudest' contest. The latter was a gig highlight, powerfully sung and startling in a live setting, Siobhan's take on Heidi's mid section sending the die hard fans into a state of hysteria. Mutya and Keisha applauding her from the side was a nice gesture too, making it clear these girls really do get on well. 

The first new MKS song we get to hear is 'Boys', a poppier affair than their 'debut' single 'Flatline'. It's fun, catchy and perhaps the most 'pop' sound we're going to get on their upcoming album. This is followed by Sia penned 'I'm Alright', a song so well structured it deserves some sort of pop medal. 'You wanna know if I'm lonely/ well I've been alone now for years/ I've cried all my tears/ I'm Alright...' they sing over echoey production. It all fits so perfectly together it begs to be a single. 

We get thrust back into the past with a jaw dropping rendition of 'Too Lost in You', Mutya stealing the focus with her stunning solo segment. We get pulled forward again with new song 'Love Me Hard', an understated track with a smooth soulful chorus; it'll be interesting to hear this translate into a studio recording. Keisha's solo performance is mind blowing on this one and when she hit those high notes I felt like I'd been kicked in the balls. The crowd chants for 'No Regrets', popularised by an acoustic performance in the Google+ sessions. The album version of this song is suitable for a slow dance with its mid tempo pace and yes, the vocals were of course amazing. Again, Mutya's solo verse is so soulful and distinct you realise that this woman deserves a spot in the Pop Hall of Fame for vocal talent alone. 

Things get wrapped up by two of their most memorable songs, 'Push the Button' and 'Freak Like Me'. This group really did (no matter what line up they had at the time) write and release some of the greatest pop songs of our generation. You actually forget just how good songs like the above are until you hear them live and you remember dancing in your kitchen, perhaps doing the hand swish dance move for good measure (maybe, maybe not?). The three minxes and Mutya's hot pants (they might actually be shorter than hot pants?) dash of the stage, thanking everyone for a great night. We know you're coming back, don't bloody toy with us.

Of course they did come back for an encore. Three new songs, starting off with Kendrick Lamar rerecording 'Lay Down In Swimming Pools' and rumoured new single 'Today'. Both a brilliant build up to the moment all MKS fans have been waiting for, 'Flatline'. The fact it hit a peak of 50 on the charts is really sad, considering the amount of utter shit that makes its way to the upper reaches of the top 40. It at least deserved top 20, but hey ho, that's the way music is bought. I hope you can sleep with yourself knowing you bought some pish Pitbull single while real talent got overlooked. Anyway, 'Flatline' is mesmerising live. All the harmonies are on point and the crowd gets fully involved to the point it's hard to hear MKS. I even found myself acting out the military drum build up with my hands. 

I am of course biased when it comes to a review of an act I fully support. I would, however, never compromise objective opinion just because I like an artist. If this gig had been awful I would tell you, 'it was shite'. Thankfully, it wasn't. It was in fact, technically, one of the best gigs I've ever been to. This is based on stage presence, vocal ability and song quality. If the full MKS album is as good as the material I heard last night, it could very well be one of the most credible albums of 2014. If they decide to stick on a bonus disc of their greatest hits, featuring Siobhan instead of 'whoever' that would also make it an even more amazing purchase. I urge you to see them live, because they're the type of act that could sway even the most staunch skeptic with their solid harmonies. 

5/5

Rated: Lady Gaga - ARTPOP Review

'My Artpop could mean anything', sings Gaga on ARTPOP's title track. It's a strong track, opening with inklings of Madonna's Ray of Light before slipping into mid tempo Gaga gorgeousness. The song should reflect the quality of the entire body of work; it doesn't. This is an album so confused & directionless it causes physical pain in its worst moments. In its best moments though, it's bloody brilliant. 

Being Lady Gaga isn't a relatable concept. The reason I fell in love with her debut album The Fame was the fact that this was a pop star, a pure pop star with lots of really good pop songs. There wasn't anything overly pretentious about the music, it was just a plate of pop with some wacky visuals serving as a side dish. Then she got pretentious and started being 'artistic', swapped her disco sticks for pig's heads and produced a not very good song by herself. This song, 'Venus' wasn't received well by fans when it was chosen as the 2nd single release. Thankfully this heinous decision was overruled and a much better song got released instead and did quite well. In comparison to some of the album though, 'Venus' is only mildly shit.

Lead single 'Applause' was a good way to sate her hungry fans and is akin to the catchy pop artistry of her past. The song faired well on the charts, not a number 1, but a success all the same. It's a shame that this isn't the intro song to the album. Instead we have 'Aura'... what do you say about 'Aura'? It's certainly something? It's, err, fucking insane? Those are both very valid points and yes, on first listen I was actually horrified (seeing your mum naked horrified). However, once you get past the structureless arrangement you reach a pretty hypnotic chorus that is unfortunately bookended by abrasive electronic rumbles. This roar of electronics is also a fault of  'Swine', which actually has some interesting lyricism and production... it's a shame that the two don't meld well together. 

The misfires continue with 'Manicure', 'Donatella', 'Fashion!', 'Mary Jane Holland' & 'Jewels n' Drugs'. 'Manicure' is the least bad and serves as a welcome break from electro pop production and after repeated listens becomes one of the album's stronger tracks. 'Donatella' & 'Fashion!' are both pointless. The latter is a disappointment considering that Gaga recorded a song of the same name minus the '!' years ago which was actually a lot of fun, and 'Jewels n' Drugs' is perhaps the worst song on the entire album. It could even be a contender for most annoying song of the year. 

I thought it would be good to get the bad bits out of the way first, so you finish this review with some hope. ARTPOP isn't the complete festering pile of faecal matter it could have been. Songs like 'G.U.Y', the title track and 'Sexxx Dreams' make a play-through worth while. 'Sexxx Dreams' is a triumph, a song so self assured it demands to be a future single release. 'I lay in bed, I touch myself & think of you...' she harmonises over thumping electro beats on a song about erotic dreams of either her gay male friend or one of her girlfriends. The verses are half spoken/half beautifully sung but the bridge slides into pure gorgeous melody before the incredible chorus comes into earshot. It's only matched by the startlingly good second single 'Do What U Want' featuring R Kelly. I'd go as far as saying these are in the top 10 Gaga songs of all time. 

The album closes with two ballads and 'Applause'. 'Dope' is another promo single and is a complete U turn in sound. It's piano lead with some intense vocals and is the most vulnerable we have ever heard Gaga sound. It's 'Gypsy' that serves as a surprise album highlight. Opening with a piano solo, it seamlessly flows into an upbeat pop number, as Gaga sings 'I don't wanna be alone forever but I love gypsy life'. It's packed with euphoric energy, but none of the abrasiveness of the album's poorer tracks and Gaga's voice sounds incredible.

A 15 track album should really be an album with 15 solid songs on it. You're always bound to find a filler somewhere on a pop record, but the terrible moments on ARTPOP can't even be called fillers because I genuinely believe Gaga thought they were good ideas. Of the 15 tracks, 8 are good to brilliant, the other 7 are far below par. An EP would have been a much better idea, or perhaps taking the time to not record 7 ear stabbing songs. That said, the 8 strong songs are worth the listen. With tracks like 'Sexxx Dreams', Do What U Want' and 'Gypsy' the album can't be called a complete disaster. ARTPOP is just bit messy.

Download: Sexxx Dreams / Do What U Want / Gypsy / Dope

2/5

Rated: Lady Gaga - Top 10 songs so far...

Things have gone a bit Gaga crazy over the past week. With singles becoming non singles and non singles becoming singles because the original single was shite and lots of wacky public appearances, one where she looked like an alien dressed in a doily, it must be time for a new Lady Gaga album. As a sort of commemoration to her brilliant back catalogue of work and also a reflection to bring hope that her newest collection will be just as good as her earlier songs, I've compiled a ranked list of the top 10 Gaga songs. I predict there will be some 'little monster anarchy' in response to this post. I promise to wear my stab proof vest to work tomorrow:

1. Bad Romance

2. Poker Face

3. Judas

4. Paparazzi

5. Just Dance

6. Edge Of Glory

7. Lovegame

8. Do What U Want

9. Alejandro

10. Schiebe 

Queue the torrents of death threats for not including 'Born This Way' and 'Applause'. 

Rated: Ciara - Overdose

There is a God and do you know why? Because Ciara is releasing 'Overdose' as her next single 1 week before Xmas. I think Jesus would have been pretty happy with that. Lifted from her latest & awesome collection Ciara, 'Overdose' is the most poppy piece of fabulousness this artist has ever released. It's funky, it's perfect for a dance floor, it's worthy of a performance slot on the Xfactor final and it's better than most of the songs released this year. The artwork is pretty graphic; I hope the video follows through.

5/5

Rated: Geri Halliwell - Half Of Me

This is how I felt when I first saw/heard this:

Good on Geri for at least attempting to sing in the studio, let alone record a new song and perform it live in front of thousands at a live event in Australia (it was like an F1 pile up followed by an atom bomb filled with shit). Not so good on her for coming out with this, 'Half Of Me'. One of those awful songs, built up to simplicity, that sticks in your head and just won't leave... ever. It's infectious, but it's also appalling pop music. "I gave you the finger/you took me to dinner/and you made me laugh" she 'sings' over Poundland production. The whole affair isn't helped by the video, a right shit storm of a thing that had me cringing in my seat. I almost wished I was dead.

1/5

PS: I try to avoid the zero mark where possible and in this instance, just for effort and out of pity, she gets 1.

Rated: Lady Gaga - Do What U Want Review

R Kelly's ripping off Rihanna's "Eh Eh Eh Eh" on Lady Gaga's new promo single 'Do What U Want', but we'll over look this, for now. This is the moment we've been waiting for from Gaga, something that harks back to her FAME days but moves forward far enough to not sound like a rip off of its predecessors. 'You can't have my heart & you won't use my mind but do what u want with my body' she roars over a metallic rumble and thumping synths. It's a convincing collaboration and it's the finest song she's released since 'Judas'. It's unfortunate it can't chart due to the manner of its release, because 'Venus' is a sad shit of a song in comparison.

4.5/5

Rated: Lady Gaga - Venus Review

'Venus' is rammed with electronic synths, robotic vocal tweaks, & so many pop theatrics that it's hard to focus on the lyrical content of the song itself. It's certainly random and it's definitely camp. The verses are quirky but the lyricism is to its own detriment; it just doesn't stick. There's a pleasant enough chorus, but it's just not enough. Even the chorus can't save 'Venus' from falling into wacky 'album track' territory and the song ignites concern that her upcoming collection ARTPOP is going to be just a bit too silly to match up to the quality pop of her past. I'm keeping my fingers crossed this is as shit as the new music gets. Crossed really fucking tight.

1.5/5

Rated: Katy Perry - Prism Review

It must be tough to focus on your 5.5million album sales and your record breaking single releases when your husband's just filed for divorce. Your tour collapses amidst your own personal emotional meltdown and your career is sent into turmoil. Singles stop being released, album promotion halts, and record company execs panic about the next lucrative move for you as an artist. This is what one would expect to happen when you've been dumped by a douche you doted on, however not Katy Perry. Her tour continued, her album floated around the top 40, 3 years after its original release, and she broke the record for a female artist with the most billboard number 1 singles from a studio album (5!). You couldn't be blamed for saying 'Katy Perry is the ultimate pop star of our time'. 

Picking herself up and dusting off the emotional debris of the past year, Perry releases her 4th studio album, Prism. It's a title about 'letting light back into her life and seeing herself again', aw that's nice. This is an album destined for big things before it's even been heard; Perry being one of those incredibly likeable artists that everyone wants to do well regardless of how revolutionary (or not) her music is. The tone of the album is set by the title, there's a lot of self reflection, emotion and exposé. It's not all dark and brooding though, there's the trademark Perry Pop that's made her back catalogue so enjoyable. 

Prism is an interesting collection of genres and sounds. Lead single 'Roar' is an incredibly infectious song, about self empowerment and personal growth. This is matched by the luscious hip hop production of sassy 'Dark Horse' feat Juicy J, a song so different from the rest of the album it stands out like dick on a cake. From hip hop to the Eastern sitar and drums of 'Legendary Lovers', which features a likeable chorus but lacks a solid hook. 

There's a retro sound to a few of the tracks on Prism, most notably 'Birthday', one of the album's most enjoyable moments. It's one of those ridiculously catchy songs you'd only find on one of Perry's albums. 'So make a wish/I'll make it like your birthday everyday' she sings over funky disco beats that make you wish you were in a roller disco. The retro feel is extended with 90s dance inspired 'Walking On Air', which features a strong vocal performance from Katy and euphoric production from pop genius' Max Martin and Klas Åhlund. 

It wouldn't be a Katy Perry album without some frivolous pop moments. 'International Smile' and 'This Is How We Do' are both likeable tracks, the former a little too random/silly/pointless for its own good and the latter a bouncy number with great 'I don't give a fuck' attitude. It's nice to have these breaks in emotional exposé, however sometimes the break isn't always necessary. 

The second half of Prism is far more emotionally revealing than the first half. It's less fun and more 'here's some really dark shit'. I exaggerate a bit, as the album isn't as dark as it was made out to be in early promotion. The darkest moments are 'Ghost' and 'By the Grace of God'. Both are lovely ballads, showcasing vocal prowess from an artist often chastised for her vocal limitations. The former is about her divorce and it does make you feel quite bad for her, particularly when she sings 'I never thought you could be so cold', following an earlier lyric about being divorced by text. What a twat. The latter track has a positive overtone, but does suggest that this artist was on the brink of suicide during her marriage breakdown. She sings about lying on the bathroom floor, thanks her sister for helping her through a troubled time and then says 'I wasn't going to let love take me out that way'. It's a poignant moment for the singer, perhaps her most personal to date.

Prism is a strong 4th outing for Katy Perry. She's certainly moved on from her last behemoth album Teenage Dream, this is apparent just from the lyrical content alone. I've never felt her albums contain any filler as generally her song writing abilities don't allow this to happen. It's not perfect though, songs like 'International Smile' and 'Love Me' aren't standouts, but for a 28 year old it's a great showcase of her pop talents. Is it her best album so far? That's a toughy because Teenage Dream, the negative reviews aside, was & still is a genius pop album (I say it was a concept album). Prism is far more grown up, but it's nice to see she hasn't forgotten how to have fun and hasn't descended into an overwrought with misery musical stasis. Welcome back Katy.

3.5/5

Download: Roar/ Birthday/ Ghost/ By the Grace of God/ Dark Horse

Rated: Sia - Elastic Heart & a few suggestions from the past

I'm a bit stressed thinking about how well known/popular Sia is becoming this year. The stress comes from the certainty that people will respect her only for her song writing and features on massive dances tracks and film soundtracks, and not for the incredible 3 albums that precede these ventures. If you haven't listened to Sia's solo work before, you need to do so now before it's too late and you are sucked into the David Guetta coven. 

She's got a new single on the Hunger Games: Catching Fire soundtrack called 'Elastic Heart', featuring Diplo and The Weeknd. It retains the sometimes quirky production of her back catalogue and it certainly shows off what an incredibly talented vocalist she is. If any song was a good starting point 'Elastic Heart' is it. 

If by any chance you are interested in hearing some of her past works, here are 5 suggestions for you to get hammering into Spotify:

1. Clap Your Hands
2. The Girl You Lost to Cocaine
3. Breathe Me 
4. I'm In Here
5. Hurting Me Now

Rated: The Saturdays - Disco Love

The Saturdays have done alright, for a group of unremarkable singers/performers with little to no gift for song writing. That said, they've squeezed out some pretty amazing songs during their time in the UK girl band pop spotlight. Their new track 'Disco Love' follows on from the annoying-as-fuck 'Gentlemen', which I hated with every ounce of my soul. Thankfully, this new single perfect pop. If you took a standard pop single and dipped it in Nutella, then rolled it in white chocolate chips and those sugary silver ball things, 'Disco Love' is what you'd get. Sweet, sickly, and so bloody worth every minute.

4.5/5

Rated: Rihanna - What Now

Here's a photo of Rihanna bent over, just cos.

Another day goes by, another Rihanna single gets released. Her new song 'What Now' is one of the highlights from her latest album Unapologetic, an album I wasn't too favourable about upon its release; my mind hasn't changed. The song is strong with a booming, passion filled chorus and a rock synth production worthy of arenas the world over. It's no 'Diamonds', but it's better than the shit stain that was/is 'Right Now'.

3 / 5

Rated: Work Bitch - Britney Spears

It's a bit cheeky for Britney Spears to be telling us to work harder if we want luxury goods. I could put on a slutty outfit and mime to her greatest hits in a blonde wig if I was being paid millions of dollars every year. Just sayin'.

My gripe aside, this is Britney we're talking about. Whether she's artistically talented or not, she was an undeniable force in reshaping pop music in the late 90s / early 00s, so I'll respect her for that. Her newest single certainly is a far cry from the days of 'Slave 4 U' and 'Toxic'. 'Work Bitch' is a Will.i.am produced club anthem in the making. On first listen it's a bit of a head fuck, but once you get into it it's hard not to think 'shit, this is going to be amazing after 6 VK Tropicals'. This is fun electronic dance pop and we know that this is what Britney does best at this point in her career. 

Why is she 'singing' this in an English accent though...?

4 / 5

Rated: Jessie J - Alive

Jessica Cornish morphed herself into pop powerhouse Jessie J over 3 years ago. Since then, she's released a multi-million selling debut album Who You Are and boasts 11+ million single sales across the world; she's 25. Once you get over the fact that she's much more talented and far richer than you are (goddammit) you realise what a contemporary chart force she's turned into. Love her or hate her, you're undoubtedly going to tap your foot to 'Price Tag' and even commandeer the dance floor when the behemoth 'Domino' riffs into ear shot. In a 'chart active' career now spanning 3+ years, she's achieved a lot more than many in the industry, much of which can be attributed to talent, some solid marketing and hard work.

A born song writer, Jessie J proved her artistry with her debut album. However, it wasn't perfect, somewhat of a melting pot of genres with a few moments of stagnant immaturity ('Who's Laughing Now?). That said, it sold over 1 million copies in the UK alone, cementing her as one of the country's most respected and prolific pop exports. What Jessie J really needed to do was move forward from teen-like insecurities and mature as an artist. 

Alive is her second album and it's certainly a much more 'grown-up' collection of songs. Her evolution as a song writer and vocalist is apparent on tracks like 'Thunder', an incredibly infectious mid-tempo power ballad, with oodles of 80s charm and vocal prowess. Her vocals continue to shine on the exhilarating 'Breathe' and she becomes more emotive than ever on downtempo piano ballad 'I Miss Her'. The rocky synths and vocal control on 'Square One' make it an album standout, with a Future style vocoder segment slotted in to break things up.

We need to remember Jessie J is a pop artist. Her music's suppose to be 'popular', easy to listen to, catchy and most of all fun. That doesn't stop her cracking out some bloody incredible tracks here and there, case in point 'Daydreamin', a song Mariah Carey would have been proud to call her own when she ruled the US pop scene. 

There's no shortage of collaboration on Alive. Her duet with Becky G 'Excuse My Rude' is the only skippable number here (I've played it twice on 6 listens) and serves as this album's WLN. Thankfully the remaining collabs are brilliant. We've been exposed to the thumping beast 'Wild' featuring Jay Sean and Dizzee Rascal, with it's insanely catchy drum rumbles and an impressive turn from Dizzee. It's 'Conquer the World' featuring Brandy that really stands out though. Not only is Jessie J singing with one of the most successful female artists of our time, they're singing a decent song together. It's guitar lead ballad mastery at its finest. 

Alive is a huge step forward from Who You Are. It's a bit more grown up, packed with some real pop brilliance, and showcases a much more vocally controlled Jessie J. It's not as jumbled as its predecessor, serving as a far tighter collection of songs. She's survived the curse of the sophomore album in terms of quality, let's just see if it can match the high level of success she's set with her past musical expeditions. 

Download: Daydreamin' / Thunder / Square One / Wild

4 / 5

Rated: MS MR ' Fantasy'

It's easy to fall out of the loop & it's just as easy to disregard bands/artists you're unfamiliar with when time isn't on your side. This is what has happened with me and MS MR. I've criminally overlooked their entire existence. So, as an apology and to bring them to your attention check out their incredible second single 'Fantasy' below:

Sorry MS MR.

4/5

Rated: Lady GaGa 'Applause' Music Video

Lady Gaga has always been in the business of weird music video concepts. The weirder they got the more we loved them. I'd say 'Applause' has grown on me considerably in the past few days, but I'm sticking to my 4/5 rating (haters gon' hate). The video however, makes it all the more enjoyable. It's not as self indulgent as a lot of her past videos, which were/are still marvellous to behold. It's fun, sexy (who doesn't love a hand shaped bra cup) and best of all it has Lady Gaga as a Swan... 

Rated: MKS 'Flatline' Music Video

So the MKS 'Flatline' video dropped at midnight last night/this morning. It's not quite what I expected but on repeated viewings it goes from underwhelming to charming. This doesn't take away the fact that 'Flatline' is one of the strongest songs to be released in 2013. Enjoy.

The marching band bit is pretty fun.

Further note: 

So I've been listening to this song a lot... 103 times to be precise... which doesn't include the 6 times I've watched the video today. I am amazing. I've always had an intense love of music videos and for me, the music video can make or break the song. I envisaged something much more powerful/dramatic for 'Flatline' and here's what that vision was/is:

The girls are in a house, each sitting at different points of the room - Siobhan slumped on one couch next to an unconscious drunk (hot) male - Mutya lying on the floor with another (hot) male, his sleeping head resting on her leg - Keisha (I love you) sitting upright looking out over the room from a window seat (her hot male is behind her feet, eyes shut lying across the base of the seat). 

The camera flits between each of their amazing solo sections - it's all very dramatic and just really lovely to watch tbh. I have this image of Mutya dragging herself through the hall, leaving a black smear on the wall as she rubs along it during her solo (obv blood but kids might watch - so symbolic I'm killing myself here). 

Blah blah blah - it progresses to the immense finale, all their blokes are still asleep/unconscious/dead or whatever, who cares? Siobhan does her 'Oh Jimmy' section and her hands rest on the window at the front of the house, which starts to form a web of cracks from where her hands are (I want to make this video NOW). When Mutya does her 'Don't wanna be in love' bit (so good) and the final chorus kicks in, the house starts shattering, cracking, getting properly fucked up. Keisha does her big vocal bits, like she does and will do forevermore, and the house pretty much explodes and they all sit in the grass facing each other, holding hands while embers rain down around them (they might be naked at this point - I haven't decided yet but I think it would be pretty impactful).

Obviously, my actual vision is far more detailed than this and probably even better/more expensive.

Rated: Naughty Boy - Hotel Cabana - Album Preview

Check out the embedded preview of Naughty Boy's debut album below. It sounds way better than I imagined it would. Lots of Emeli Sande on there, some Bastille, Ed Sheeran, Tinie Tempah and god damn Gabrielle! 

Rated: Naughty Boy Featuring Emeli Sande - Lifted

If you attended your gran's 70th birthday celebrations last year it is almost a certainty that Emeli Sandé performed. I'm right... right? The performer of almost any televised event in 2012 is back after a relatively lengthy 6 monthish hiatus, at least by her standards. She's come back with her pal Naughty Boy, with whom she sang on the stunning 'Wonder' last year. It's one of those songs that makes you feel lucky it popped up on shuffle, lucky to have it in your life. Just me then?

So what's the new collaboration like then? 'Lifted' is an exciting track, harking back to Emeli's own debut single 'Heaven', a glorious song that should have gotten far more attention than it did. It's packed with trip-hop bells & beats, laid under Emeli's incredible vocal arrangement. The opening quivering violins are beautiful and the songs build up is subtle but ultimately explosive. If this pair did an entire album together it would more than likely be perfect.

5/5

Rated: Katy Perry VS Lady Gaga - Roar VS Applause

They're both back. They both have impressive back catalogues of pop-amazingness. It's hard to decide who you prefer because they're both incredibly influential 21st Century pop artists. One sings a bit better than the other, but then the other did wear a whipped cream jizzing bra. The choice is nigh on impossible. Let's make the call based on their new singles? Fuck yes!

Katy Perry - Roar

'Roar' follows an album packed with more pop perfection than it had the right to. Katy's vocal's are strong throughout, bursting with conviction. It sounds a bit like 'Hard Knock Life' when it bleeps into ear shot, then the chorus blasts into a pop/rock mid tempo stadium shaker. The 'you're gonna hear me roar-oh-oh-oh-oooohoooh' is so catchy it sticks in your head even when you're sitting on the toilet... true story. This is a melodious pop masterpiece and let us not overlook the input of pop Sith Lord (he must be evil to be so powerful) Max Martin. Long may he live.

5/5

Lady Gaga - Applause

'Applause' opens with shaky David Bowie imitation vocals and a Tetris on acid electronic arrangement. The chorus is the song's strong point; it's typical Gaga, big, ballsy and camp. Her vocals are solid and at points the production is exhilarating, particularly when the chorus erupts like a pop volcano. This was designed for a gay club dance floor, much like the majority of her upbeat roster. After cancelling some of her world tour due to a hip injury, this will certainly have her fans back in their bath tubs, pouring breakfast cereal all over themselves in Gaga fuelled euphoria. Even if you don't like her, no one can deny how fucking brilliant/essential her pop-artistry is.

4/5

Katy just wins this battle. However, overall both of them are so brilliant it would be callous to choose one over the other. 

SOZ I CHOOSE KATY!