Nicki Minaj - Anaconda

"I like big butts and I cannot lie..." is one of the most well known lyrics on earth. That's quite a sad thing really, but I digress. The idea that rap maniac Nicki Minaj would sample this line in a single at some stage in her career isn't surprising, what is surprising is that I didn't predict it right away. Its obviousness is startling and new single Anaconda is as unrevolutionary, unsatisfying and ridiculously shit as music can be. 

A step down from better quality Pills N Potions which harked back to the more promising moments on her debut album Pink Friday, this song is novelty rap-pop at its worst. The video might be captivating and enjoyable for all the wrong reasons, but the song is as pleasant as eating rotten fruit. In the chorus Sir Mix A Lot drops "My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun..." followed by the lady herself chatting in an airhead vocal "Oh my gosh - look at her butt" repeatedly with added hamster vocoder sounds. There's writing music to empower females and celebrate the female form, then there's believing your own hype and writing a song about your most famed asset, which in this case comes across as obnoxious drivel. 

1 / 5

Jessie Ware - Say You Love Me

Singer of gorgeous songs Jessie Ware dropped the first single from her upcoming album Tough Love in early August. Said song of the same name is reviewed here.  It was/is amazing as is most of what she sings. Now she's put second single Say You Love Me on the internet and it's a predictably beautiful affair.

It's a down tempo, much more acoustic sounding track than its predecessor. From the bare percussion in the opening to the wistful chorus where she coos 'I don't wanna fall in love/ If you don't wanna try/ But all that I've been thinking of is maybe that you might...' this is perhaps her most commercial friendly record to date. That's not a bad thing. It's stepped away from the 80s synth mastery of her back catalogue to a more anthemic, acoustic arrangement and her vocals sound more authentic and powerful than ever. If the album Tough Love continues the quality of its first two singles then it's something to get very excited about.

4.5/5

Neon Jungle - Welcome to the Jungle

Neon Jungle consists of Shereen, Amira, Jess and Asami and their debut album Welcome to the Jungle dropped at the end of July. That's who Neon Jungle are and what this review is likely to be about. Nutshell complete. The big questions are, is their music good? Can they sing? Will they continue their success?

Opener and second single Braveheart is known as their biggest hit to date. It's a club ready electro synth rumbler, with a euphoric pre-chorus. The dancefloor breakdown is pretty infectious and it's quite refreshing to have a girl band releasing music with this kind of roughness to it. Continuing the dancefloor vibe is Welcome to the Jungle, a dark dance track with an intimidating pre chorus build up. It's not as a standout as its predecessor and at times it can be quite coarse but it's certainly memorable. Debut single Trouble makes an expected appearance and in the context of the album doesn't sound as ridiculous or annoying as it did on its own. It's a very contrived piece of 'edgy' pop and the attitude filled shouty chorus coupled with vocoder grates. 

The tone changes completely with Louder, the first instance of balladry on Welcome to the Jungle. It's a complete surprise and really does shit in my cereal (I said they couldn't sing, they can, bollocks). It's a thumping (almost) power ballad with a strong, memorable chorus and as I said, good singing. Waiting Game is another ballad, stripped back to a piano and vocal harmony arrangement. It's authentic and haunting to say the least and the strong run of ballads continues with Fool Me. 

Welcome to the Jungle isn't quite a melting pot of genres, however it does dabble. The Rihanna imitations on Bad Man are distinct, but the track doesn't stand out even with all its bravado. It's certainly nowhere near the brilliance of the Ruby Goe track of the same name. They also dip into slow jam R'n'B with Can't Stop the Love which doesn't hit the mark, at all. 

Sleepless In London is the album highlight. It's pure pop, with a thumping chorus and the most easily memorised lyrics on the album. In this case, simplicity is perfection. Similarly, Future X Girl goes down the pop route and it suits the girls perfectly. They inject a Princess Superstar inspired rap too, which actually works very well indeed. 

Welcome to the Jungle is a revelation, albeit an imperfect one. They can sing, pretty well. Their music is at times, amazing and at others not so. I predict moderate success for them in the future. Moderate is better than none! With tracks like Sleepless In London, Future X Girl and Braveheart under their belts they've (hopefully) not got too much to worry about.

2.5/5

Cher Lloyd - Sorry I'm Late

Cher Lloyd hasn't had an easy time in the popularity stakes since her stint on the UK Xfactor in 2010, in which she placed fourth. Her problem wasn't a lack of vocal talent (her abilities make her mentor Cheryl Cole sound like Paris Hilton), it was the rumor mill that spins out of control in the mid to latter stages of the TV competition. She was a brat, a bitch, this and that; she was a little diva with ideas above her station. Whether any of that is true is really neither here nor there, what matters is the music... right? So with the moderate success of her debut Sticks and Stones which saw some recognition in the US charts and a 2014 duet with Demi Lovato under her belt it seemed sensible time for album number two, Sorry I'm Late. Aptly named following the numerous delays that seemed to curse the album from its conception. Was it worth the wait?

Sorry I'm Late is a shameless pop record. Opener Just Be Mine and lead single I Wish (feat T.I.) state this clearly and are very likeable pop numbers. The former has an 'ahahahaaa' hook that quickly burns itself into your mind and the latter has a strong chorus and current arrangement, with Lloyd wishing she was taller and richer to get the man she wants. Bind Your Love is an album highlight, a really solid uptempo love song with a stadium worthy chorus, "When you call me/ I will always find you/ When you need me/ I'll come for you..." followed by a surprise electro-pop breakdown.

She hasn't ditched the wince worthy pop numbers that came on her debut though. Dirty Love and M.F.P.O.T.Y ooze the insolence the media would have you expect from Lloyd, dripping in playground chants and irritating lyrical links. Killin' It similarly reeks of adolescence, although not as pungently. 

There are moments where Lloyd's vocals show the development associated with experience and maturity. Sirens, an epic anthem penned by Saturdays hitmaker Ina Wroldsen, starts with a steady drum beat, climbing to the chorus which explodes into an array of throbbing dance synths. Similarly brilliant is Human. Gorgeous vocals dripping with sincerity sit atop an enormous arrangement of echoing drum beats. 

Sorry I'm Late isn't without its misfires. However, it's sporting enough pop gems to make it worth the wait and worth a listen and where it's really good, it's really bloody good.

3/5

Jessie J, Ariana Grande & Nicki Minaj - Bang Bang

"She got a body like an hourglass but I can give it to you all the time..." Jessie J coos bellows in the opening line of Bang Bang, a pop collaboration between 2 hugely successful divas and a fresh from the pop womb teeny bopper. It's infuriatingly catchy and whether you like it will remain a mystery even by listen number 10. What's clear is that Jessie and Ariana can sing and Nicki, well she does her own thing in her usual oddball high pitched rap stylings. The track itself is packed with sass, high notes and Jessie J signature warbling and overall it's a standout pop song, which at times is so DIVA it's abrasive, with a thumping beat and epic clash of percussion, synths and horns.

3.5 / 5