Rated Beyonce - Grown Woman

I finally heard the full version of Beyonce's new single 'Grown Woman' this evening, albeit at mediocre quality. It's been a long time coming; it must be pretty hard to put together a new album when you're popping out a baby, so I'll let her off this time. First thoughts are:

1. It's pretty awesome.
2. It's a better lead single than 'Run the World', which was an uber grower.
3. It's a brilliant track to tease a new album with. I only hope the album matches this quality.
4. It's a Beyonce song... always a bonus.
5. I want to dress in tribal garb, open a bottle of Prosecco and drunkenly bogle around my flat.

This is an amazing Timbaland production, with a distinct & memorable tribal arrangement. It's a blatant tongue in cheek number, which is nice because we get to see that Beyonce doesn't take herself too seriously (although she probably does). This is an instant 'like' for me, but I can see it softening even the hardest of Beyonce haters. Also, it performs fantastically well on tour:

Rated Roundup: Connor Maynard is awful and Beyonce's still fabulous!

There are so many new songs dropping out of the pop-womb right now I figured it would make more sense to just post 5 of them in one go. Some are good, some not so. Some are seductive, some about as appealing as a night in bed with Pat Butcher's corpse. The one thing I will say though, even if you can't tell right now, is that we are coming into the 'Summer Smash' season and I couldn't be more excited! 

Cover Drive - 'Sparks'

I was perplexed by their debut single 'Lick Ya Down', which deserves negative numbers out of 5 for its corny and simply awful lyrics and production. However, after a few weeks of 'Twilight' beating through the radio at work I became hooked to the 'Ooh la Ooh la' hook and Caribbean flavour of their second effort. Now they're back with a third assault on the charts and it's a bit like  a ballad version of 'What's My Name?' by Rihanna, with the gorgeous West Indian percussion floating about in seductive fashion. This is guaranteed to be big over here, with its summery sound being exactly what we need right now.

4/5

Beyonce - 'End Of Time'

It's been almost a year since 4 was unleashed and the rumours of a terrible album were quashed under the immense booty of one third of Destiny's Child. A string of singles (maybe 5?) later and we have had some of the most refreshing music to hit the charts in years. 'Countdown' was fantastic fun and its production unlike anything else around and '1+1' was stripped back and hypnotically nude. Now 'End Of Time' is being presented on its own and it's a glory to behold. Although we could have done with a funky music video to support it, this is one of the most fun and colourful songs Beyonce's every released, with its pounding military drums and blasting horn section, the lady seems unable to make a 'single' mistake.

5/5

The Saturdays - '30 Days'

I was a big fan of 'Heart Takes Over' but it failed to ignite the charts. In fact, The Saturdays were once filled with such promise, but seem to have fallen victim to genericism, which is causing their music to be relegated to the bottom end of the top 10. Could '30 Days' be the song to break this pattern and could it become their first number one? Probably not. The chorus is catchy and in places quite exciting, along with some pretty standard but refreshing dance-floor ready production. Unfortunately, the song is let down by some dodgy verses that feel like they were written as some Secondary school kid's music project, 'I woke up in the morning/felt so far away/marks on my calendar/don't hurry up the days...'. 

2/5

Connor Maynard - 'Can't Say No'

"The British Bieber" is what the critics are hailing this fame hungry youth from Brighton as. Great, just what we wanted. I don't really know where to begin, so I'll give the production a swift roundhouse kick to the face first. The beat is repetitive, uninspired and completely lacklustre. As for vocal performance, Connard is as convincing a singer as Bieber, that's for sure. Neither of them has any vocal 'oomph' and singing in one key doesn't count as young talent. You might not be able to say no Connard, but I can guarantee there's plenty rejection coming your way.

0/5

Fun. - 'We Are Young'

I was engulfed by this song the first time I heard it. It's already broken chart records in the US and it looks set to do big things on our side of the Atlantic too. It's a pop record by an indie band, only it's not a pop record. It's so confusing, because I know it sounds Indie and I know it sounds pop, but I just can't decide which it should be! Bugger it. Let's just say I love it! Big Indie-Pop-Somethingorother anthem of 2012.

5/5

Rated 1+1

In true Beyonce fashion, there are to be a number of music videos directed for both singles and non singles from her newest album 4. This is exciting and will keep my youtube playlist/favourites list full for some time. She did the same with her 2nd album B'Day and made lots of sexy videos for the songs from I Am... Sasha Fierce. A video for 'I Care' would be great B', thanks!

On a more title relevant note, the first non single to receive a video is track number one, '1+1'. The song itself is startlingly powerful and raw, with B's vocals on traffic stopping form. To emphasise the message of the song, there's now a mesmerising video to promote it. Hypnotic, sexy and dream like, the video for '1+1' is completely stripped back from the production spectacle of 'Run the World'. It's slow and erotically charged, but remains classy and tasteful like B always manages to maintain in her presentations. She seductively dances with a male, in leopard print underwear and manages to not look like a hooker. It's pretty damn beautiful as is the lady herself, her skin covered in glitter like a vampire from Twilight. This might actually be the most expressive video she's ever done.

HOT.

Rated 4

Beyonce surprised me when she released the epic ass shaker ‘Run The World (Girls)’. I then surprised myself by leaping from a venomous hatred for the song to an epic love that has me imitating the shoulder shudder on every dance floor I grace. You would think, going by what the lead single suggests, that the forthcoming 4 would be an album in much the same vein as past material. Lots of uber feminist and patriotic booty bumping a la ‘Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)’ and some sexually charged grind like ‘Video Phone’. If you’re expecting any of the above then you’re about to be surprised, shocked and maybe even disappointed. However, what it lacks in sass and sex appeal, it makes up for with passion, aggression and determination.

Don't use 'Run the World' as a basis for judging this album, this is the best advice I can give you in relation to 4. It's the closer and although would have been nice as the introductory track, when you grasp the structure of the album you appreciate it as an ending. The tempo begins at zero but reaches climax when the Major Lazer sampler beats the doors of love down. So just sit back and relax and gird your loins for the epic finish. Don't do as I have done and listen to the critics who are saying the album is "horrific", "messy", "worst album ever". I have been pleasantly surprised by the final product and although there is one weak moment, by Beyonce's standards, this is a damn solid album.