Rated: Lady Gaga - ARTPOP Review

'My Artpop could mean anything', sings Gaga on ARTPOP's title track. It's a strong track, opening with inklings of Madonna's Ray of Light before slipping into mid tempo Gaga gorgeousness. The song should reflect the quality of the entire body of work; it doesn't. This is an album so confused & directionless it causes physical pain in its worst moments. In its best moments though, it's bloody brilliant. 

Being Lady Gaga isn't a relatable concept. The reason I fell in love with her debut album The Fame was the fact that this was a pop star, a pure pop star with lots of really good pop songs. There wasn't anything overly pretentious about the music, it was just a plate of pop with some wacky visuals serving as a side dish. Then she got pretentious and started being 'artistic', swapped her disco sticks for pig's heads and produced a not very good song by herself. This song, 'Venus' wasn't received well by fans when it was chosen as the 2nd single release. Thankfully this heinous decision was overruled and a much better song got released instead and did quite well. In comparison to some of the album though, 'Venus' is only mildly shit.

Lead single 'Applause' was a good way to sate her hungry fans and is akin to the catchy pop artistry of her past. The song faired well on the charts, not a number 1, but a success all the same. It's a shame that this isn't the intro song to the album. Instead we have 'Aura'... what do you say about 'Aura'? It's certainly something? It's, err, fucking insane? Those are both very valid points and yes, on first listen I was actually horrified (seeing your mum naked horrified). However, once you get past the structureless arrangement you reach a pretty hypnotic chorus that is unfortunately bookended by abrasive electronic rumbles. This roar of electronics is also a fault of  'Swine', which actually has some interesting lyricism and production... it's a shame that the two don't meld well together. 

The misfires continue with 'Manicure', 'Donatella', 'Fashion!', 'Mary Jane Holland' & 'Jewels n' Drugs'. 'Manicure' is the least bad and serves as a welcome break from electro pop production and after repeated listens becomes one of the album's stronger tracks. 'Donatella' & 'Fashion!' are both pointless. The latter is a disappointment considering that Gaga recorded a song of the same name minus the '!' years ago which was actually a lot of fun, and 'Jewels n' Drugs' is perhaps the worst song on the entire album. It could even be a contender for most annoying song of the year. 

I thought it would be good to get the bad bits out of the way first, so you finish this review with some hope. ARTPOP isn't the complete festering pile of faecal matter it could have been. Songs like 'G.U.Y', the title track and 'Sexxx Dreams' make a play-through worth while. 'Sexxx Dreams' is a triumph, a song so self assured it demands to be a future single release. 'I lay in bed, I touch myself & think of you...' she harmonises over thumping electro beats on a song about erotic dreams of either her gay male friend or one of her girlfriends. The verses are half spoken/half beautifully sung but the bridge slides into pure gorgeous melody before the incredible chorus comes into earshot. It's only matched by the startlingly good second single 'Do What U Want' featuring R Kelly. I'd go as far as saying these are in the top 10 Gaga songs of all time. 

The album closes with two ballads and 'Applause'. 'Dope' is another promo single and is a complete U turn in sound. It's piano lead with some intense vocals and is the most vulnerable we have ever heard Gaga sound. It's 'Gypsy' that serves as a surprise album highlight. Opening with a piano solo, it seamlessly flows into an upbeat pop number, as Gaga sings 'I don't wanna be alone forever but I love gypsy life'. It's packed with euphoric energy, but none of the abrasiveness of the album's poorer tracks and Gaga's voice sounds incredible.

A 15 track album should really be an album with 15 solid songs on it. You're always bound to find a filler somewhere on a pop record, but the terrible moments on ARTPOP can't even be called fillers because I genuinely believe Gaga thought they were good ideas. Of the 15 tracks, 8 are good to brilliant, the other 7 are far below par. An EP would have been a much better idea, or perhaps taking the time to not record 7 ear stabbing songs. That said, the 8 strong songs are worth the listen. With tracks like 'Sexxx Dreams', Do What U Want' and 'Gypsy' the album can't be called a complete disaster. ARTPOP is just bit messy.

Download: Sexxx Dreams / Do What U Want / Gypsy / Dope

2/5

Rated: Lady Gaga - Venus Review

'Venus' is rammed with electronic synths, robotic vocal tweaks, & so many pop theatrics that it's hard to focus on the lyrical content of the song itself. It's certainly random and it's definitely camp. The verses are quirky but the lyricism is to its own detriment; it just doesn't stick. There's a pleasant enough chorus, but it's just not enough. Even the chorus can't save 'Venus' from falling into wacky 'album track' territory and the song ignites concern that her upcoming collection ARTPOP is going to be just a bit too silly to match up to the quality pop of her past. I'm keeping my fingers crossed this is as shit as the new music gets. Crossed really fucking tight.

1.5/5

Rated: Katy Perry VS Lady Gaga - Roar VS Applause

They're both back. They both have impressive back catalogues of pop-amazingness. It's hard to decide who you prefer because they're both incredibly influential 21st Century pop artists. One sings a bit better than the other, but then the other did wear a whipped cream jizzing bra. The choice is nigh on impossible. Let's make the call based on their new singles? Fuck yes!

Katy Perry - Roar

'Roar' follows an album packed with more pop perfection than it had the right to. Katy's vocal's are strong throughout, bursting with conviction. It sounds a bit like 'Hard Knock Life' when it bleeps into ear shot, then the chorus blasts into a pop/rock mid tempo stadium shaker. The 'you're gonna hear me roar-oh-oh-oh-oooohoooh' is so catchy it sticks in your head even when you're sitting on the toilet... true story. This is a melodious pop masterpiece and let us not overlook the input of pop Sith Lord (he must be evil to be so powerful) Max Martin. Long may he live.

5/5

Lady Gaga - Applause

'Applause' opens with shaky David Bowie imitation vocals and a Tetris on acid electronic arrangement. The chorus is the song's strong point; it's typical Gaga, big, ballsy and camp. Her vocals are solid and at points the production is exhilarating, particularly when the chorus erupts like a pop volcano. This was designed for a gay club dance floor, much like the majority of her upbeat roster. After cancelling some of her world tour due to a hip injury, this will certainly have her fans back in their bath tubs, pouring breakfast cereal all over themselves in Gaga fuelled euphoria. Even if you don't like her, no one can deny how fucking brilliant/essential her pop-artistry is.

4/5

Katy just wins this battle. However, overall both of them are so brilliant it would be callous to choose one over the other. 

SOZ I CHOOSE KATY!

Rated Born This Way - it's here

It’s potentially the most anticipated album of the decade; Born This Way is finally here. With tonnes of euro-pop charm, bloody weird electro production and some startlingly fantastic moments this has potential to be one of the most unique pop albums since Madonna’s “ground breaking” Ray of Light. 

Lady Gaga erupted into pop consciousness with ‘Just Dance’ in 2008 and then the record breaking/setting ‘Poker Face’, both of which have become contemporary pop anthems. Her initial collection of songs, The Fame, sold over 20 million copies throughout the world. Its sound was quite pop standard, laced with some rnb to keep it brimming with attitude. This commercial, rather chart safe sound soon dissolved however, into the euro-pop styling of the immense ‘Bad Romance’, lifted from the 1.5 album The Fame Monster. With this evolution in Gaga’s sound it became clear that there was something quite special coming next. It's here.

 Born This Way opens with ‘Marry the Night’, homage to Gaga’s nights cruising the New York City underground club scene and how it served as escapism from the sorrows of life. With a soaring electro chorus she beautifully blasts, “I’m gonna marry the night, leave nothin’ on these streets to explode”.

Next up is the single that divided fans, ‘Born This Way’, which is one of the album highlights (but by no means reflective of the album’s sound as a whole). “No matter gay-straight-or bi, lesbian-transgender life, I’m on the right track baby I was born to survive”, has become the key line from the pro-gay anthem. It’s not all about being gay though, this is a song with a dynamic message of equality and self-love, cleverly written and catchy as fuck (I get to swear, Gaga would approve).
Things get dark, dirty and very Berlin discothèque with the hugely anticipated ‘Government Hooker’. Kicking off in semi-operatic fashion the song decends into a decadent array of synthy growls and electric twitching, as Gaga speaks, “Put your hands on me, John F. Kennedy, I’ll make you squeal baby, as long as you pay me”. I’m not quite sure if there’s any intellectual, political message in here, but who cares when it sounds this cool?

Rated Judas and Born This Way.

There's a lot of discontent with the new GaGa material circulating amongst her fans at the moment. It's amazing how much her sound has evolved since her mega-commercial 'Just Dance' days. This evolution is entirely positive. Lady GaGa has become Lady Euro-Pop, belting out self empowering gay anthems about love, life and gender alteration. What needs to be kept in mind is that the most successful female artist of all time changed her sound (pretty much) with every album. This development kept listeners enticed and kept pop music interesting. Lady GaGa is the Madonna of our generation (I'm 24 - ONLY JUST).

'Born This Way' was an epic slice of pop knobbery and has, since release, notched up well over 100 plays on my ipod. Second single 'Judas' from the upcoming album Born This Way is yet another euro-pop inspired floor filler with one of the gayest sounding choruses in history (but I love it). With 'Bad Romance' style thumping synths this is guaranteed to become top of the list on party playlists the world over. The lyrics are smart and the bravery of using a biblical metaphor is typically GaGa, who is already causing unrest within Christian groups. When this reaches number one she can stick her two, well manicured, fingers up to the fussers and bathe in her ever growing fountain of cash. Jealous.