Rated KPTD.

Two years ago, the controversial, nutty and incessantly charming Katy Perry unleashed her debut album. One of the Boys spawned one of the catchiest and silly songs of the decade, 'I Kissed a Girl', and the album itself sold over 1 million copies in the US alone. Following a string of ridiculously catchy tracks (Hot 'n' Cold, Thinking of You, Waking Up in Vegas) Perry is back with Teenage Dream. It's an onslaught of intoxicating pop songs, only this time she's moved away from the American girl rock band sound of her debut to dance-pop.

The title track 'Teenage Dream' sounds like the theme song from an 80s teen movie. It's one of the most summer friendly songs of the year and one of the most uplifting and exhilarating Perry has ever written. Singing about a road trip, getting drunk on the beach and 'going all the way tonight', the song is an ode to teenage romance like no other. "Let you put your hands on me in my skin tight jeans, be your teenage dream tonight", Perry sings in the most orgasmic chorus of any song on the album. By the climax you'll be jumping about like a 17 year old in an imaginary room covered in Brat Pack posters.The tone of the album is now set and it doesn't diverge from this nostalgic dance-floor path for some time. 

Teenage Dream is definitely the 'girl's night in' album of the decade (but boys can enjoy it as well, of course). 'Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F)', like the title track, sounds like something from a teen flick. Perry sings, "we danced on table tops, and we took too many shots" - sounds like a typical work night out to me. Next up is the global, number one, behemoth 'California Gurls'. Its cheeky lyrics about dancing on the beach, "daisy dukes, bikinis on top", and Perry's teasing "all that ass hanging out" alongside Snoop Dogg, makes for an eponymous summer anthem. 'Peacock' continues the sexual innuendo of 'California Gurls', essentially talking about the pleasant surprise a guy's 'member' provides her with. Breaking this cheek is the potent 90s dance sound of 'Firework'. With a build up reminiscent of N-Trance, Perry births her own idea of dance infused pop. The most notable part of this song is Perry's voice, which seems to have matured since her debut and harnesses much more power and depth.

Stepping back in time to the rocky feel of One of the Boys, we have 'Circle the Drain'. This attack on drug addiction and/or alcoholism (perhaps that of her ex?) has Perry putting down the effect the habits have on her relationship, "You think you're so rock 'n' roll but you're really just a joke". The chorus is immensely catchy (as expected), "You fall asleep during foreplay, because the pills you take are more your forte, Wanna be your lover not your fucking mother...". It's impossible not to love this song and it's a definite classic, perhaps more so once Perry reaches album number 4 or 5. Furthermore, 'The One that Got Away' is a strong contender for single number 3, with its bouncy, twee, pop beat engulfing your senses like some kind of mouth watering, musical candy floss. "In another life I would be your girl, we'd keep full of promises, be us against the world...".

No album is perfect. I enjoyed most moments here, however 'E.T' is not one of the tracks I would choose as first play on Ipod shuffle. It's interesting that to continue the retro feel of the album we have one of the most retro icons of film in a song title, but it's just not as memorable as the superb tracks I've already touched on. 'Who Am I Living For?' doesn't live up to earlier ballads ('Lost' = beautiful); Perry's voice is big, but the song just doesn't captivate. However, 'Pearl' is a fantastic tale of a girl whose talents and beauty are stifled by an unnamed male who is jealous of her potential. The beat thumps on this dance ballad as Perry belts out lines like, "She is a pyramid, but to him she's just a grain of sand" and "Oh she used to be a Pearl, she used to rule the world, can't believe she's become a shell of herself...". Recovering from the two less interesting tracks, Teenage Dream gives us vintage Katy Perry with the teen rock of 'Hummingbird Heartbeat', which is as charming as songs like 'One of the Boys' and 'Fingerprints' from her debut. Closing track, 'Not Like the Movies' is a surprise ballad to round of an album which has such a strong dance vibe. Singing about how love isn't as perfect as it appears in, well, the movies, Perry dishes out 'Lost' style vocals on a track I am indifferent to.

It's definitely a step forward from her debut and Perry's vocals seem to be a lot more controlled and distinct. Injecting a different genre into her sophomore album was the best concept in pre-production, as had we been presented with an identical effort to One of the Boys, we would be feeling rather deflated. Interestingly, the two albums work quite well together when shuffled as there are enough similarities to cement this music as Katy Perry's. It’s unfortunate that some of the songs here are overshadowed by their friends, but the good ones are so good it doesn’t really matter. What we have here are the signs of a potentially great artist. She may not warble like Christina and GaGa, but she certainly knows a punchy pop song when she hears it and proves here (along with her debut) that she can write a bloody good pop album.

Rated Sunday Girl.

I came across this song when it played at my work and thankfully it continues to pop out now and then. It's just, well, lovely (not forgetting catchy as...).

Rated We Are Born.

Clap Your Hands in an ovation to this marvel.

When Sia Furler's 'Breathe Me' was used as the theme tune for the hit tv show 'Six Feet Under', its gorgeous simplicity was an instant winner. The album from which this morsel was plucked, Colour the Small One, was a brooding masterpiece with quirky lyricism and Sia's dry but sumptuous vocals pouring out over down tempo, beautiful songs. Next came a slightly more commercially friendly release, Some People Have Real Problems, which contained some of my favourite songs of all time such as 'Death by Chocolate' and 'Buttons'. It was Sia's next move which would cement her position as one of the most consistently 'different' artists out there, commercially successful or not. She has not disappointed.

We Are Born is an uptempo, much more cheerful collection of songs. Sia's songwriting skills and ear for a delightful hook are unsurpassed with this latest effort. The opening track 'The Fight' begins with children chanting the album title, before Sia brings in her powerful vocals to sing to us about winning an emotional battle and human unity, “we made it through the darkness through the light/oh how we fought, but still we one the fight/yes we stand together!”. From the bouncing melody of the opener to the disco-funk inspired 'Clap Your Hands', which is the most memorable and enjoyable track on the album. 'Clap your hands, clap your hands/come and dance take a chance on romance we only get one chance'. The song is Sia's most dance floor friendly (sadly this entire album will be overlooked by critics and commercial radio stations, denying this great artist the recognition she deserves- whether she wants it or not) and has racked up the highest play count of all the album tracks on my nano. The final run of the chorus is belting, as she wails and howls harmoniously throughout.

We Are Born is certainly bouncy pop, illustrated by the infectious 'Stop Trying' and the neo-disco beats of 'You've Changed', which highlights Sia's originality as a song writer. Although more mid to uptempo numbers follow, 'Bring Night', 'Hurting Me Now' and 'Never Gonna Leave Me', Sia has of course popped in some slower beauties to excite our sensors. 'Be Good To Me' and 'Cloud' being the most luminescent. The former requesting comfort and understanding from a lover and the latter a metaphor for releasing pent up sadness and anger, 'I am a dark cloud, swelling with rain'. The latter stages of the album are not as impacting as the earlier moments, that isn't to say that the album loses charm. 'The Co-Dependent', Big Girl Little Girl' and 'Oh Father' are all as enjoyable as the early songs, it is just a shame they lose the disco vibe laced throughout the rest of the album and are somewhat overshadowed by the bigger moments early on. 'I'm in Here' is the loveliest ballad Sia has written and with time becomes a moving story.

We Are Born is an important moment in Sia's career; it had to be different to its predecessors, reinventing the artist's sound and it has. Producing a more uptempo collection was a good move for an artist with a back catalogue of mid to down tempo songs. With some of the most amazing moments of any album this year, Sia has compiled a spectacular success of a record. She may not want to be famous and I may not want to share her with a mass audience, but it is, at the same time, a shame that her fantastic talent is unknown to so many. At least those of us who do know of her existence can continue to sway in an orgasmic hypnosis.

Rated Alanis.

After a 6 day working week I am finally reconstituting my self. Post 10 hour non-stop sleepathon, I arose with an urge (cheeky) to listen to some Alanis Morissette. I love this woman. I've been interested in her music for about 6 years now and I can't name one track she's recorded which doesn't please me in some way. Hence I am about to give you the low down on 10 succulent morsels of Morissette to sink your pearly whites into. Yum.

The 10 ESSENTIAL Morissette tracks - by me, an obsessive.

1] 'Ironic' from Jagged Little Pill - Right so this song was about as predictable as a hooker in Harlem. However, it is one of the ultimate songs of this feminist rock powerhouse. It may not actually be ironic (maybe that's the point?) but it has one of the most memorable choruses of any song I've ever encountered. Seeing her perform this live was one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life. It's her most successful single and remains the song which will see her remembered through the ages to come. Amazing.

2] '21 Things I Want In a Lover' from Under Rug Swept - "Do you have a big intellectual capacity? Do you see everything as an illusion? Are you both masculine and feminine?" Alanis lists, you guessed it, 21 things she wants in a lover. The song is the most rocky from this album which sees her sounds relax to an extent, moving away from the bitter undertones of her debut and Supposed Infatuation Junkie. It's one of my favourites simply because it's completely relatable. Anyone who hears this will identify one 'thing' they agree with ol' Alanis on. Definitely in my top 10 songs of all time. LOVE.

3] 'Incomplete' from Flavours of Entanglement - From her newest collection of songs, 'Incomplete' sees Alanis reflect on the wants of youth and the subsequent loss of these wants that come with age. She sings about missing the feeling of being incomplete and the desire for constant change that she felt as a youngster. It's quite bouncy for an Alanis song and the melody takes the edge off what would other wise have been interpretable as a fairly negative song.

4] 'Versions of Violence' from Flavours of Entanglement - I don't have a reason for putting this here other than the fact that I love how it sounds. It's so dark and brash, and to boot it has a killer chorus build up and huge hook. Definitely one of my favourites of the latest album.

5] 'Joining You' from Supposed Infatuation Junkie - Only recently coming across this track (because I didn't listen to Supposed in its entirety for years) I regret not having noticed it before. It's about suicide and it's wonderful. You might not agree before hearing it, but it is amazing. Trust me. SO catchy.

6] 'Thank U' from Supposed Infatuation Junkie - A classic. I needn't say anything else about it.

7] 'Forgiven' from Jagged Little Pill - It's about faith and about WHY we bother having it? Alanis says it's because we need faith. She gave up her faith but found it again, can she be forgiven for her misdemeanours? I'm not a man of God, not at all, but this song is my favourite Alanis song. I love the way she talks about the manipulative nature of the Church and organised religion. It's superb. Listen to it, now!

8] 'Mary Jane'  from Jagged Little Pill - "What's the matter Mary Jane? Had a hard day? Place the don't disturb sign on the door." Alanis addresses a friend (I think) and her apparent depression. Mary Jane has been pandering too much to the needs of others and neglecting herself. Leave to Alanis to sing her into motivation. The song is beautiful, melodic and has a lot of emotion packed into it. It's a keeper.

9] 'Sister Blister' from Feast on Scraps -  A song about female unity against men, by Alanis Morissette? Never. This metal fused ballad about the way women fall over themselves to gain male acceptance, at the cost of bonds with their 'sisters' is effective, memorable and packs one big punch in the throat. 

10] 'You Oughta Know' from Jagged Little Pill - It had to appear somewhere, but I thought leaving it till last would be more effective. It's recently been covered by Britney Spears on her Circus tour and more notably by Beyonce who spliced it with 'If I Were a Boy' for her tour and her grammy performance. It's one of angriest, most memorable songs Alanis has ever written and it's the most globally applicable songs out there. Anyone can identify with this (from a certain age) and it is undeniably one of the greatest songs ever recorded (argued by me of course). From a fantastic album, a fantastic revenge song.

Rated Bi~on~ic

Two years ago Christina Aguilera performed 'Keeps Getting Better' at the MTV Movie Awards. Following the show she was accused of copying Lady Gaga, for her electro-pop sound, straight blonde hair-do and black cat suit (you know, because Britney never did that before?). It seems the Gaga comparisons haven't stopped coming over the course of Christina's new production period. However, ignoring the now annoying links to Gaga (and by annoying I mean I am bored of Gaga comparisons!), Christina's Bi~on~ic is no huge disappointment nor is it the scorching memory branding I anticipated.

If Stripped gave us Xtina, Bi~on~ic gives us XXtina. Opening track 'Bionic' compares Christina to a rocket and has her stating, "i'll take you supersonic". It's a suitable introduction, setting the tone for the first portion of the album, which is as club ready as Britney's Blackout. Lead single, 'Not Myself Tonight', follows suit, delivering a massive punch as Christina demands she doesn't "give a fuck" what people think. A wise attitude from a woman who's been out of the music scene for a long time and whose future success rests firmly with the well-being of this album's sales. 'WooHoo' is a surprise on first listen. The haunting electro inspired build up bursts into a jungle drum/hip-hop bouncing club thumper, produced by Polow da Don who has worked with the likes of Ciara and Kelis. Perhaps one of the albums standout tracks and its second US single, 'WooHoo' is cheeky, naughty and damn dirty. From what I can gather, it's about going down on a girl. That's the Xtina we grew to love! 'Elastic Love', penned by MIA, is infectious and hollers back to the writer's Kala album. Tricky produced 'Glamour segue' featuring 'Glam' and 'Prima Donna', seems pointless in light of some of the strong songwriting credits on previous tracks.  'Glam' sounds like a reject from the Sex and City Soundtrack and a bad attempt at rewriting 'Vogue'. Thankfully the album is about to regain its foot hold.

'Sex for Breakfast' is one of the most charming songs I've encountered on a Christina album. It's melodic, her voice sounds fantastic and it's one big wink at the listener. Harking back to Stripped, Christina ropes in the wonderful talents of Linda Perry (Beautiful) and the result is superb. 'Lift Me Up' (sadly the only Perry penned track here) sounds a bit like the ballads of Stripped but new enough not to sound like a duplicate. "When you see me crashing, And theres nowhere left to fall, Will you lift me even higher, To rise above this all", 'Lift Me Up' displays the best vocal performance on the entire album; less shouting, more harmony. Three more ballads follow in this latter stage of the album (all with songwriting from the immensely talented Sia Furler), 'All I Need' is a song about the importance of baby Aguilera in his mother's survival and sanity. 'I Am', one of my favourites from the track listing, sounds like it would fit nicely onto Sia's startling album Colour the Small One. 'You Lost Me' is a strong ballad but pales in the shadow of the stunning 'I Am' and 'Lift Me Up'.

Bi~on~ic closes with a brilliant duet with the controversial lyricist Peaches. 'My Girls' is basically a rowdy Ladies Night esque track and the combination of Xtina and Peaches seems like a match made in provocative heaven. Final track (if you don't have the deluxe edition) 'Vanity' is in one word, hilarious. I don't mean it's bad and funny as a result, far from it. It's probably the catchiest song Christina's ever done. Hardly lyrically challenging, but so funky it, kind of, hurts. "I'm not cocky, I just love myself, bitch!" 'Vanity' is brimming with the attitude I hoped to see on Bi~on~ic. Xtina returns with BIG balls, singing to the bum-bumdedum of wedding music, "I take myself to be my lawfully wedded bitch".

Bi~on~ic is definitely not a failed comeback. Since Stripped, Christina's been acclaimed for song writing and her significant input into her own music. This 2010 onslaught is packed with juicy morsels of pop-tasticness. It may be a bit contrived at times and the album is just a little too long, but there's enough substance to outweigh the filler. Keeping vocal collaborations to a minimum the album sounds like Christina and nothing like the Gaga copy we were promised by critics and Gaga fanatics. The production is pretty damn amazing, with the likes of Le Tigre, Samuel Dixon and Linda Perry tweaking their knobs. Reigning in Sia Furler, Linda Perry, Peaches and MIA cements Christina's position as a respected and intimidating contemporary pop-force. 

Rated Christina Prev.

So Bionic dropped this morning and I am currently spotifying my face off.

I'll post a review tomorrow evening, once I wade through all 20+ tracks. So far though, on track 5 and it's completely different to anything she's released before. I don't hate it.

Rated Last Girl On Earth.

Black leotard, back crunching heels and a hair cut that would intimidate any heterosexual male, Rihanna has landed. It’s been a while since the Barbadian beauty toured, but she’s certainly making up for lost time with her 2010, Last Girl On Earth extravaganza. In support of her brilliant album Rated R, the queen of vampy ensembles brought to Glasgow’s SECC a post-apocalyptic vision of the contemporary pop-concert. Military, metal, gas masks, weird stilt wearing monster people, two giant metal guns and a pink tank; every prop oozed Rihanna’s pop identity. In a surprisingly brilliant performance, Rihanna captivated everyone in the audience, especially me, who was slightly doubtful of her live quality. What a fool I was.

Following a strong support show from Pixie Lott, the arena went black (30 minutes later of course) and everyone went insane. A screen illustrating the idea behind the tour is filled with distorted images, Rihanna is dreaming but her dreams are real - thus we are living her dream. A simple concept, which is revealed to be infused with military chic, so this girl obviously loves soldiers, guns and tight outfits. Rated R’s intro track ‘Mad House’ kicks in and shortly ‘Russian Roulette’s’ riff screams into the arena. The final gun shot of the track is accompanied by a visual of a bleeding  human heart. The biggest surprise is Rihanna voice, which is pretty damn good. I expected some mild screeches and breaks, but she kept it together and delivered a massive punch. Descending from her podium and simultaneously changing costume, the face slapping “yeah yeah yeah” of ‘Hard’ pounds its way through my ear drums. Engaging the crowd for the first time, mainly getting us to sing with her, turns out to be one of the best qualities of Rihanna as a live performer. For the whole show she engaged the audience and made sure we were doing some work too, whilst intermittently reassuring us of where we were, “Glasgow! Make some fucking noise!”.

Hit after hit, she battered out consistently strong vocal performances and cut some impressive shapes, mainly with her ass, which took on a life of its own during the intoxicatingly delightful ‘Rude Boy’. Encased in a black latex leotard and thigh high latex wedge boots, Rihanna belted out ‘Rockstar 101’, ‘Hate That I Love You’ and ‘Rehab’. Of course there was a ballad segue, which included an amazing performance of ‘Unfaithful’ and the new single ‘Te Amo’. The latter was accompanied by two aerialists who ‘stole the show’ (excuse the cliche) by doing things in the air I didn’t think a human body was capable of. 

Rihanna proved that her classic songs still have relevance and still sound good alongside her new, improved, edgier sounds. Barely dressed, in a white strappy (I mean just straps) number, she belted out ‘Please Don’t Stop the Music’, a welcome addition to the line-up, being about the most poppy of the whole show. ‘SOS’ sounded great with a rock remix laced through the original track, as did her final ballad ‘Take A Bow’. Another quick change of outfit and we were treated to a medley of ‘Wait Your Turn’, ‘Live Your Life’ and ‘Run This Town’, right before one more outfit alteration and ‘Umbrella’. 

After 22 songs Rihanna showed no signs of failure. Her vocals remained brilliant throughout the entire show and blew all ideas of a ‘not so great’ singer out of my mind. It’s clear that Rihanna won’t be going anywhere. She seems head strong, intelligent, and most importantly she is a superstar-class live performer. She may have some great song writers behind her and some equally as talented producers, but the quality of her new music which had a substantial input from the lady herself proves her worth as a musical artist. Plus, she can still look like the coolest, sexiest woman on the planet after sweating for 2 hours, that means something, right? The show didn’t feel like a GaGa imitation (who her final outfit will no doubt draw comparisons to - bored), nor did it feel like it was themed. It avoided the ‘Britney Spears miming in a sort-of circus’ pointlessness and presented eager fans with a 100% live, mind blowing, Rihanna identity parade. 

May 19th 2010 - LOVE.

Rated Rihanna.

So I went to see Rihanna last night (my new obsession) in Glasgow and it was immense. I've seen Beyonce twice and her stage presence was almost on par. I was pleasantly surprised and exhilarated. I'm going to post a proper review of the show in a couple of hours, but here's a little teaser of what I had (about 20ft) away from me last night.

Riri - Glasgow 19/05/2010 (Rated i.)

Rated Xtina 2010.

Actually cannot wait for the new Christina Aguilera album... I think it's going to be colossal. I'm obviously going to review it on here as soon as I have it. I'm currently listening to Back to Basics to get in the mood. 

Rated Rewind: Britney Spears - Circus

After the most talked about hiatus from music ever, Britney Spears is back doing what she does best, catchy dance-pop with a robotic lining and little soul. A lack of heart is not as apparent here as it was on 2007’s Blackout, where the record was affronted by a “the lights are on but no one’s home” Britney. This aside, Blackout was a triumphant pop album, spawning the immense dance-floor stompers, ‘Gimme More’ and ‘Break the Ice’. Now, a year on and far sooner than expected, Circus is complete and there’s no anti-climax in sight.

Opening track ‘Womanizer’ is a dance floor orgasm, with its infectious chorus and thudding staccato beats. The Outsyders production is one of the most memorable songs of Britney’s career. The title track ‘Circus’ jumps up and slaps you in the face, and features not only the best pre-chorus build up on the album, but its own dance break too. The bouncing Max Martin production of ‘If U Seek Amy’ is another annoyingly catchy notch on Britney’s musical bed post, with Britney teasing, “Love me, hate me, say what you want about me, but all of the girls and all of the boys are begging to If U Seek Amy” (say the title really fast and you’ll get it). Of course, being Britney, there’s a ballad in the mix, the quite nice ‘Out From Under’. It’s the most relevant song here but it’s disappointingly lacking in the vocal arena, with not one proper key change. The Danja produced ‘Kill the Lights’ and ‘Toxic’ responsible Bloodshy & Avant’s ‘Unusual You’, are album highlights. “Is that money in your pocket, are you happy to see me?” she demands aggressively on ‘Kill the Lights’, yet again taunting the paparazzi, only this time she is engaged and not synthesized into non-existence. The ballad ‘Unusual You’ features significant electronic vocal effects, but these enhance the beauty of the track. The hauntingly ethereal nature of the song makes it one of the best pop-dance ballads I’ve heard.

Although the album is one of Britney’s best (behind Blackout) it does have a few problems, the main one being twee ballad ‘My baby’. The Let's Go to War production ‘Mmm Papi’ makes little sense and although it's infectious, Britney's comedy vocals are more embarrassing than funny. The hangover song ‘Blur’ is reminiscent of 2003s Moby produced ‘Early Morning’, but it’s uninspired and a bit bland. However, these are minor flaws on an entertaining pop record.

Circus is a great comeback, displaying some of the best pop moments you’ll experience on an album this year and some of the best Britney moments of all time. Who cares if Britney’s not the same Britney any more, she’s still churning out some superb dance tunes and with songs like ‘Womanizer’, ‘Unusual You’ and ‘Kill the Lights’ at her disposal, she’s certainly not likely to falter any time soon.

6.5/10

Rated Suga - Sweet 7 (Sugababes)

After a turbulent year, the authentic British girl group is back, only they're not so authentic. We've seen the Sugababes with three original members, then two, then one, now none. We've witnessed pop-marvels such as 'Freak Like Me' and 'Push the Button', had the pleasure of listening to the delightfully chilled out 'Soul Sound' and the memorable debut 'Overload', and danced, hands in the air to 'About You Now'. All these songs are iconic Sugababes songs, and here in lies the new problem, they are now sexed up and branded. 

Their latest effort, Sweet 7, is their seventh album and is by no means bad, especially when contrasted with the boresville Catfights and Spotlights. It's a collection of catchy dance tracks that will do well on the club scene, the charts, but maybe not so well with the die hard fan base.

Opening with 'Get Sexy', a grower and total dance floor filler, after two or three listens, the new babes show us their seductress personas. The following 'Wear My Kiss' and 'About a Girl' are equally as catchy and sexy, but feel a bit more Sugababes. The former has a hook which would be at home on previous album Three and the latter is definitely neo-babes, but has the edge that lined the group's earlier albums. "You don't know about a girl, I'll take over the world" sing the new line up, on one of the album's finest moments, before moving onto yet another hook filled number with 'Wait for You', which displays the babes’ new love for voice synthesizers. 'Thank You For the Heart Break' is catchy but lacklustre and duplicates the unnecessary voice manipulation of 'Wait For You'. The only collaboration on the album is with Sean Kingston on 'Miss Everything'. Typically Kingston, the track sounds oddly like his song 'Fire Burning' and the following club tune 'She's A Mess' is disappointing, unimaginative and extremely annoying.

The babes’ vocals don't really get exploited to their full potential on the faster tracks (bar 'About a Girl'), but when you get to the ballads there is some classic babe vocal prowess apparent. 'Crash & Burn' shows off new member Jade Ewen's abilities and posits her as the new vocal leader, and also shows that the new line up doesn't sound too shabby together. ‘No More You’ sounds a bit like a Rihanna track and stands out as the catchiest of the slower songs, with Amelle’s husky voice welcomingly filling the second verse. Seeing the title ‘Sweet and Amazing’ made me recoil in horror, but surprisingly the track is both sweet and amazingly not bad, with its bouncy beat, prominent Heidi vocals, and happy message of learn your lessons and “make it the best you can”. The end track, ‘Little Miss Perfect”, is quite an anti climactic way of ending such an upbeat dance album, but the song is strong, and contains the best vocal performances on the album, particularly from Amelle, who sounds immense on the first chorus.

Dedicated fans of the classic lineup(s) may be disappointed with this alien sounding Sugababes. They have, unfortunately, jumped on the electro-dance-pop bandwagon and lost the uniqueness they once possessed. The album is strong enough to gain a top five position in the charts, and shows off the vocal abilities of the new arrangement. There are no epic moments like ‘Freak Like Me’ or ‘Hole in the Head’, but Sweet 7 is a pleasant collection of pop music and some ‘almost there’ songs. Whether the new lineup will maintain the success enjoyed by the old formation(s) remains to be seen, but listening to the songs makes me feel like there’s something or someone missing, from this seventh album. I just don’t know who the Sugababes are anymore.

5.5/10

"Rated R" - Rihanna.

It's been a tough year for Rihanna. It wouldn't be wrong to say a lot of people probably didn't see the same Rihanna coming back to the front line. They were right.

"I pitch with a grenade" exclaims Rihanna in her sexiest Bajan accent, the hardest it has ever sounded on any of her records. The first proper track (there's an interlude style intro called ‘Mad House’) 'Wait Your Turn' is perhaps the darkest sounding, most aggressive you've heard the ‘Umbrella’ superstar sound. The song is punchy and demands that you, well, “wait your turn”. Rihanna introduces her new persona by exclaiming, “I’m such a fucking lady”. 'Hard (featuring Jeezy)' is some more 'in your face' Rihanna. The song is one of the catchiest on the album and you won’t be able to stop yourself rapping along when a battle ready Rihanna bites, "Where them girls talking trash?...Where them blog girls at?...Where your lighters at?". The tough talking, Neo-Rihanna sings without a care on 'Rockstar 101' and the fantastically titillating 'Rude Boy', the latter being one of the catchiest songs you will hear this year. It harks back to reggae and the dance hall, and latches onto your consciousness like a welcome disease. ‘G4L’ has Rihanna gathering up her “bitches” and she has even roped in Will.I.Am for the bouncy electro-romance of "Photographs".

This album is dark, probably the darkest of any pop star in recent memory. Lady Gaga showed us an edge not seen in years, but Rihanna is really pushing some prickly subject material here, from abuse to suicide. 'Fire Bomb' has Rihanna using a car crash metaphor for her explosive relationship with Brown. "When your front windows break, and I come crashing through..." is a poignant line from a woman who had her face smashed into the dashboard of her lover's car just a year ago. This dark tone allows for Rihanna to flash some newly honed vocal abilities. 'Russian Roulette' shows us a powerful performance from the once timid, lack luster 'Pon De Replay' singer. Her voice echoes all the emotions required to make this a bold first single, and check out the high note in the final chorus (who thought she had it in her?). There are no Leona Lewis style ballads on Rated R. The stand-out Spanish sound of ‘Te Amo’ echoes Rihanna’s rejection of another woman and a language barrier stopping her admirer’s ‘I Love You’ being understood.

There isn't one bad song on this album; it is consistent in quality and has a large enough variety of dark ballads, upbeat dance numbers and rocky, brooding lyrical marvels to please everyone (just not some of her teen fans). Rated R is obvious in its concept, the growth of a pop star who is now a real woman and not the ‘good girl, gone bad’ we previously knew. However obvious this is, it's a brilliant collection of songs, showing the darker side of pop. With songs like the dance floor filling 'Rude Boy', the haunting 'Russian Roulette' and the unique 'Cold Case Love', Rihanna's managed to pull the trigger on the revolver of success. 

Rated R - 9/10

Rated Telephone: "I told you she didn't have a dick."

Gaga & B.

After the rather uninspiring, lack lustre Beyonce video for Video Phone, I was highly expectant of Lady Gaga's next effort for Telephone. The above link will take you on a nine minute onslaught of vibrancy, sex and Lady Gaga sticking both middle fingers up to the media by referencing her supposed possession of a penis. The song, Telephone (featuring Beyonce) has been around for quite some time now, and it is epic scale electro-pop. The beat is ridiculously infectious and, well, Beyonce's singing on it! What more could you ask for? A fantastic mind-blowing journey with the two superstars in, probably, the most immense music video in years.

It's a continuation of the Paparazzi  video, in which we saw Gaga jailed for murdering her boyfriend. Only now, she's naked and in jail with lots of sexy (and not so sexy) women. A pair of sunglasses covered in burning cigarettes and The Pussy Wagon from Kill Bill later, you're finished what is an exhaustingly exciting promotional clip film. From poisoning the customers of a diner and Beyonce's 'boyfriend' to Gaga's pixelated naked crotch, the video pushes acceptability and taboo further than any other major pop star has since the Madonna glory days and, even in that context, Gaga blows the competition out of the kitsch sea.

The video is sassy and relevant, and is a marvellous moment in music video history. It might not go anywhere exactly, but it pushes the two, already massive artists, into a whole new spotlight. Lady Gaga is known for controversy and being a bit weird, but Beyonce has been relatively subdued in her career. Here we see that Queen B. can indeed "mother f@$*#R" with the best of them. Sexy, funny and massively entertaining, the video is going to see Telephone stop dwindling in the lower reaches of the charts and storm right through Justin Bieber and Ke$ha like a pop-art torpedo. I can't wait for the big bang.

Rated i.

Rated RudeBoy

The new Rihanna video has dropped like a Caribbean bomb. It isn't my favourite song from Rated R, but it is pretty damn hot. It's a playful, booty shaking number, that's got a sexy video to match. Check it out...



PS: I think I might actually be in love with RiRi. <3

Rated RiRi.

How hot does this bitch look? God. I am almost in love with RiRi these days. Rated R is a 12 song album of epic quality (i've stacked up over 400 plays of the tracks from the album in about 2 months). Check out Hard, Rockstar 101, Last Song, Te Amo and Wait Your Turn.

As for her fashion sense... sometimes it's a bit, indescribable, but I really think she's found her own place now. That outfit is kind of Lady GaGa esque, but let's face it, anyone who wears anything remotely unusual this year is going to be compared to Gagz. Shame, because I think RiRi's style is quite adaptable for woman in the real world... whereas, GaGa? I mean, the woman's a genius, but unless you want to make an outfit from a bin liner and some shit from Pound Land, you're probably better to just go with RiRi.

Rated Diva.

I heard on the grape-vine that my beloved B. is taking a 6 month hiatus from the front-line of musical mastery. I am obviously GUTTED. A whole 6 months with NO new Beyonce music/performances/cameos? Shit.

I've seen her live, twice, yes twice, and she is a diva of epic quality. Come back soon B!

"I hear you be the block but I'm the lights that keep the streets on..."

Rated Ditto.

I am a massive Gossip fan, their last album was perfect. However, I love the Ditto even more than her uber-cool band. She oozes charisma and likeability, and after she presented the Friday Night Project a few years back, I fell truly in love. It's so refreshing to come across a woman of fame, who isn't carrying their arse around in their skull.