Rated Telephone: "I told you she didn't have a dick."

Gaga & B.

After the rather uninspiring, lack lustre Beyonce video for Video Phone, I was highly expectant of Lady Gaga's next effort for Telephone. The above link will take you on a nine minute onslaught of vibrancy, sex and Lady Gaga sticking both middle fingers up to the media by referencing her supposed possession of a penis. The song, Telephone (featuring Beyonce) has been around for quite some time now, and it is epic scale electro-pop. The beat is ridiculously infectious and, well, Beyonce's singing on it! What more could you ask for? A fantastic mind-blowing journey with the two superstars in, probably, the most immense music video in years.

It's a continuation of the Paparazzi  video, in which we saw Gaga jailed for murdering her boyfriend. Only now, she's naked and in jail with lots of sexy (and not so sexy) women. A pair of sunglasses covered in burning cigarettes and The Pussy Wagon from Kill Bill later, you're finished what is an exhaustingly exciting promotional clip film. From poisoning the customers of a diner and Beyonce's 'boyfriend' to Gaga's pixelated naked crotch, the video pushes acceptability and taboo further than any other major pop star has since the Madonna glory days and, even in that context, Gaga blows the competition out of the kitsch sea.

The video is sassy and relevant, and is a marvellous moment in music video history. It might not go anywhere exactly, but it pushes the two, already massive artists, into a whole new spotlight. Lady Gaga is known for controversy and being a bit weird, but Beyonce has been relatively subdued in her career. Here we see that Queen B. can indeed "mother f@$*#R" with the best of them. Sexy, funny and massively entertaining, the video is going to see Telephone stop dwindling in the lower reaches of the charts and storm right through Justin Bieber and Ke$ha like a pop-art torpedo. I can't wait for the big bang.

Rated i.