Rated Roundup - June - Rihanna keeps going, Stooshe improve and KC keeps kicking

Chris tried to get Rihanna to take a break... she head butted him.

We've been thrust into the summer months with some stunning weather, lots of topless male models strutting about town and street party's a-plenty. Smell shite? Thought so. Well, the weather's been about as much fun as a night in a hostel dorm with Kerry Katona, Louis Walsh and Jean from Eastenders, but the charts are lighting up with some lovely musical codeine to relieve the pain.
Cheryl Cole just obliterated her competition to hit number 1 with the tremendous 'Call My Name' (potential pop song of 2012) and Rihanna's 'Where Have You Been?' is still hovering around the top 10. What else is coming up or knocking around chart world that's caught my eye...ear?

Coldplay ft. Rihanna - 'Princess Of China' 
This is gorgeous. Roaring, epic sounding, inspiring and intoxicating, this is perhaps my favourite Coldplay song and one of my favourite songs of 2012. I didn't take much notice of it when Mylo Xyloto was released but now with it pounding its way through my radio I couldn't stop myself falling in love. Rihanna's vocals are stunning and fit perfectly over Coldplay's incredible electronic production. If you don't enjoy this you're damaged.

5/5


Tyler James - 'Higher Love'
Say what you will about reality TV contestant Tyler James, his cover of Windood's 'Higher Love' is swoontastic. Those falsetto notes are flawless and the ease with which he changes between registers is immaculate. One of my top songs for June, this will keep you smiling on your trudge to work on a Monday morning. Lovely.

5/5


Stooshe - 'Black Heart'
I thought Stooshe's debut single, 'Love Me' was embarrassingly bad. The gimmicky cackling and chatting in between verses and the relentless attempts at exuding girltude were boring, tried and tired. There's still a little bit of this at the end of their new single, but thankfully the song is good enough to overshadow this blip. Better than their debut by a universe's length and breadth, this is a catchy wee bugger that just will not get out of your head. Wee shit.

4/5


Usher - 'Scream'
'Climax' was terrible. I don't know what critics were listening to but it can't have been the same song, surely? He's made a good move releasing 'Scream' as the follow up, picking up the tempo and harking back to the electronic synths and dance beat of 'OMG'. This is by no means great, but it's fun and in a club setting this could be an epic moment. It's a shame he's left behind his more rnb type material from past albums, because as one of the best male pop stars around, Usher could be doing so much more with his direction rather than following the trends that have been set before him.

2.5/5


Kelly Clarkson - 'Dark Side'
Following 'Stronger' was always going to be tough because let's face it, no one disliked that song. If you did, leave my page immediately because I no respect for you. Prick. New single 'Dark Side' is similarly huge sounding, but what Kelly song isn't? Her vocals are on traffic stopping form and as a standalone single, this song actually attracts more attention than it does on the album. That doesn't happen often in the world of duff songs. Keep it up KC.

4/5

Rated: Top Nelly

Since I'm on a total Nelly Furtado joy ride right now I thought I'd make a wee post about how great she is. To illustrate her grandeur I'm going to present the top 5 NF songs, in order. I never post a chart in a favourable order so this is quite revolutionary. Just sayin'.

FIVE
'Powerless' - One of my favourite songs of all time, but I wouldn't say it's Nelly's best overall. A unique folksy, uptempo number with some inspiring lyrics and a beat that makes you feel like singing out loud. Don't do it in Tesco. Lesson learned.

FOUR
'All Good Things (Come to an end)' - A stunning song, harking back to the folky sound of Folklore mashed up with some the Timba/Danja beats, it's one of those songs that just flows so smoothly you could be pouring chocolate fondu into your ears (I don't advise you try this). Lovely.

THREE
'Try' - From the Folklore album this is a stunning, stripped back, ballad showcasing some of Nelly's finest vocals to date. If you haven't heard this you're missing out. It's got the power to turn the most snooty of hipster music snobs.

TWO
'Maneater' - Sexy, sassy and brimming with cool. This is a superb dance/rnb/dirty pop track, packed with attitude. You don't often find a song that has a lifetime stamp on it, but this is one of them. 20 years from now it'll still sound new and still pull me onto a dance floor.

ONE
'Say it Right' - Hypnotic. That's the word I'd use to sum this song up. Haunting production and both Nelly's and Timba's strongest song to date. I'd even go as far as to say this could be one of the top 10 songs of all time. Incredibly satisfying.

This was nails! I think I shifted 2-5 around for about 30 minutes and then changed 2 of them completely. These songs are great, but don't forget 'I'm Like a Bird', 'Promiscuous', 'Turn Off the Light' and many many more.

Woah Nelly!

Rated: Big Hoops

Once in a while a song comes along that is like nails on chalkboard the first time you hear it, but blossoms into something special on the subsequent plays. 'Big Hoops (Bigger the Better)' is Nelly Furtado's new track from her upcoming album The Spirit Indestructible and it couldn't be more satisfying.

The first time I heard it I thought, 'what the hell is this?!'. The second time I heard it I thought, 'Actually, this is fucking cool!'. What makes this song so great? It's completely different to everything else about in the charts, mainly pointing my fingers at the over saturation of dub-step inspired music around right now. With a hip-hop beat and an exciting chorus, Nelly raps 'I'm going down,/I've got my big hoops on'. The song sort of ends only to burst into a trip hop flurry that's more fun than an acid trip on a roller coaster.

4/5

Rated Fall To Grace - The Review

I read a comment today on another review of Paloma Faith's sophomore album that read, 'Paloma seems nice and cute but her music is rubbish'. Aside from the comment lacking in intelligently worded criticism, I found it completely bewildering. Paloma's styling might not be to everyone's taste, but there's no denying she's a fine song writer with an impressive set of distinct sounding pipes. New album Fall To Grace is an impressive collection of pop songs, retaining some of the vintage vibe of her debut but moving forward far enough to stand on its own two feet as something fresh and invigorating.

Lead single 'Picking Up The Pieces' is a glorious, orchestral, midtempo ballad with a gorgeous chorus and '30 Minute Love Affair' continues this quality with its 80s inspired beats and bouncing chorus. The album has plenty of balladry on offer, the likes of 'Black and Blue' and 'Just Be' being top showcases of Paloma's beautiful voice. 'Let Me Down Easy' is one of the strongest moments on the album with its haunting retro synths and Paloma's raspy yet creamy vocals poured over the top like some delicious dessert. 'Freedom' is the strongest track (bar the lead), kicking off in lounge piano ballad form only to burst into an exciting uptempo chorus that makes it one of the most exhilarating songs of 2012 so far. 

There are some weaker tracks. 'Beauty of the End' and 'When You're Gone' don't grab on first listen, nor second. Each has potential to be a grower but when you compare them to the more brilliant moments of the album they are overshadowed completely.

It was inevitable that this album was going to be automatically compared to Adele's 21. This is a comparison I don't quite understand as these are two completely different artists with very different sounds. 21 wasn't and still isn't a perfect album, but it's one of the best selling albums of our time. Fall To Grace is equally worthy of such recognition in the charts and from critics. It maintains some of the retro feel of her debut but songs like 'Blood Sweat & Tears' and the fantastic 'Agony' pull this album forward about 4 decades. Do You Want The Truth Or Something Beautiful? was by no means immaculate and nor is this album, but what it lacks in perfection it makes up for in evolution. The strong tracks are really strong and the weaker songs only falter a little. As a second album this is a success and as has been proven by its chart position (debut #2) she's finally garnered the appreciation she's deserved since the beginning.

4.5/5

Rated Fall To Grace: First Listen

I've been girding my loins for the new Paloma Faith album for weeks and in 10 days it will drop into my lap and I'll be floating along to it for hours on end. This morning I discovered the album sampler is available online and so, naturally, I got listening and putting pen to paper. On first impressions this is a strong collection of songs, with Paloma's voice on top form and the production never threatens to drown her out. I notice a lack of the potent retro feel of her debut Do You Want The Truth Or Something Beautiful? with its vintage inspired songs 'Upside Down', 'Smoke & Mirrors' and 'Broken Doll'. However, that said, this slight change/evolution in her sound is a clear sign of artistic progression. I guess we'll have to wait and see for sure when the album-full is released on 28 May.

Picking Up The Pieces
A lovely 'oomph' filled orchestral ballad about a crumbling relationship. See my review here.

30 Minute Love Affair
"30 minute love affair/All in the blink of an eye/There you were standing there..."she sings over an uplifting array of pleasant 80s synths. This is a bouncy poppy number that sounds unlike anything she's recorded before.


Black & Blue
One of the stronger ballads on the album, with stunning vocals on the massive chorus that wouldn't have seemed out of place on her debut album.


Just Be
A stripped back ballad, with some unusually restrained vocals from Paloma laced over the top of a gorgeous piano.


Let Me Down Easy
A fantastic sounding mid-down tempo song with a throbbing synth beat and a haunting metallic riff. This is electronic soul at its best.


Blood, Sweat & Tears
This sounds a bit like it was written by Sam Sparro and The Scissor Sisters. A electronic-disco infused pop song, this is a grower.


Beauty of the End
This sounds a bit like a bonus track from her first album. Lovely 'oooohh aaaahh' backing the chorus and Paloma's soulful voice.


When You're Gone
The first thing I thought of when I heard this was James Blake's album. It's no where near as wonderfully weird as that, but it has a faint throb in the background that sounds like he might have had a hand in its production.


Agony
A stronger uptempo track to 'Blood, Sweat & Tears'. "This is agony but it's still a thrill for me..." she belts out on a less bouncy, more orchestral pop song.


Let Your Love Walk In
Again, another ballad with lovely vocals. By this point I'd gotten a bit confused by which ballad was what. This is probably just because I've only had access to 1 minute clips of each, making it harder to absorb each one. Sounds good, potentially not as strong as the others though.


Freedom
One of my favourites. Starting off in lounge ballad form over a piano this song unexpectedly bursts into an exhilarating mid tempo chorus with light synths and an infectious beat.


Streets of Glory
The album closes with a ballad, showcasing just why this singer deserves some more recognition for her talent. It's a ghostly song with a sumptuous strings section and a thumping beat.

On first listen Fall To Grace sounds like it's brimming with artistic promise. There are some truly beautiful musical moments here in the form of 'Picking Up the Pieces', 'Just Be' and the epic 'Freedom'. I have some concern that the ballads might be a little samey, but I will reserve this criticism for when I've heard the full album in all its glory. Right now, I'm pretty confident this is going to be a joyride.

Rated Perfect World

Beth Ditto is back to her belt out best on the Gossip's new track 'Perfect World'. Similarly to 'Heavy Cross', this is a strong example of what's on the rest of their new album A Joyful Noise (review coming soon) and as a stand alone song it's damn lovely. Ditto's soulful vocals meander between the gothic rock synths and riffs, sounding as convincing and powerful as ever. It's typically Gossip and gorgeously Beth.

5/5

Rated Sunday Girl 2012

Ok so it's over a year since I first posted about Sunday Girl and still nothing has happened. Her career hasn't gone into orbit like I predicted and 'Four Floors' still isn't receiving the recognition it deserves. This is something I want to rectify, if only for this one song's sake! It's over two years old now and I still absolutely love it. I want an album god damnit!

Rated Picking Up The Pieces

It's been a while since we heard anything from Paloma Faith, other than the odd burst of 'Upside Down' over the top of the daft Boots adverts. Her last single 'Smoke & Mirrors' didn't even threaten to ignite the charts, which is a shame because it really is a great pop song. Her debut album Do You Want The Truth Or Something Beautiful? was a great collection of retro tinged pop songs, with elements of blues and soul entwined in well written pop craft. As her sophomore album approaches, entitled Fall To Grace, she really needed to showcase something special to ensure it makes an impact.

'Picking Up The Pieces' succeeds as a lead single. The standard structure of a song is start off small and end things big, however this doesn't follow this generic layout. Instead, the song's first chorus is huge and gets even bigger as the song reaches its crescendo. 'Now she's gone and I'm picking up the pieces' Paloma belts with her gorgeous vocal on a song about a crumbling relationship, damaged by a past love. The song is well written, well sung and most reassuringly continues the nu-vintage soul sound of her debut collection. It's nice to see she's sticking to her own style and not falling into the habits of many of her peers, jumping onto some boring dub step inspired bandwagon. I just hope this song and the upcoming album gain this brilliant artist the recognition and respect she deserves.

5/5

Listen to the song here

Rated 'My Kind of Love'

Emeli Sande performed her stunning new single on The Voice UK last night on BBC1. One performance so strong and so impressive I thought it needed a post of its very own. Amazing vocal range, brilliant stage arrangement and one of my favourite songs of 2012, this is a performance I'll be watching over and over for months. Take a look below if you missed it or like me, you just can't get enough of Emeli!

Rated Roundup: Cheryl/Tulisa/Rita

She's back and she forgot her trousers!

Something horrendous has happened... I like Cheryl Cole and Tulisa's new singles. I'm distressed as I dance around the flat singing '...when you call my name' at the top of my voice. My poor neighbours, no wonder they moved out. Anyway, here's another roundup of singles for your audio pleasure/displeasure, including those two dirties above:

1. Cheryl Cole - Call My Name

So she's back, Y-I.ing her way back into the spotlight after a much needed hiatus (much needed for us, not her). I won't lie, I liked 'Fight For This Love' and 'Promise This' because they were nothing more than fun coated, sticky sugary pop. Now with 'Call My Name' she's teamed up with Calvin Harris to create a song that sounds suspiciously similar to his behemoth Rihanna hit 'We Found Love'. It's got the same summery tone and a very similar structure, but it's completely different, right? Anyway, that aside, this is a pretty damn good pop song and I won't deny ol' tarty chops her place at number 1. Since I'm the chart controller.

5/5

2. Tulisa - Young

Another one who's thrown me into turmoil with her new single. 'Young' is a well timed dance number about the foolery of youth and how it is an excuse for making silly mistakes and trashing art shows (or giving a guy a blow job on camera, badly). 'Forgive me for what I have done, cos I'm young, Yeah I'm young', sings a vocally impressive Tulisa. It's not perfect though. The Calvin Harris esque build up-dance explosion is fun but not as good as that which it seems to mimic and the repetitive title line gets a bit tiresome. It's just silly pop at the end of the day, so let's not take it too seriously.

2.5/5

3. Rita Ora - R.I.P

First coming to our attention on DJ Fresh's number one hit 'Hot Right Now', Rita Ora caused some confusion as the 'girl who copies Rihanna's blonde hair'. Somehow I don't think hair colour is something attributable to being a rip off, so let's just sack that notion now. 'R.I.P' is her first solo outing and it's pretty awesome. Her voice sounds great, the production is solid (although I'm a bit bored of the dubsteppy sound that's on everything right now) and I can't get enough of the panting bridge segment. For a debut single this is as good as it gets.

5/5

Rated Thursday Playlist

They say music reflects and affects your mood. I'm not sure what mood I'm in, a pretty crappy one but the below playlist has plenty upbeat slices of yummy musical cake to keep you bouncing this coming weekend. I think the more up tempo tracks are probably illustrative of my desire to escape to a completely different existence. This isn't in any particular order, it's just some songs I can't stop listening to this week and I'll probably continue to batter then this weekend.

Rated i's weekend playlist (Published May 3rd)

Fun. - We Are Young
Rihanna - Where Have You Been?
Simian Mobile Disco - Cruel Intentions
James Blake - Why Don't You Call Me?
Black Keys - Gold on the Ceiling
Lana Del Rey - Off to the Races
Norah Jones - Happy Pills
Alicia Keys - Like the Sea
Beyonce - Sweet Dreams
Emeli Sande - My Kind of Love
Kele - Tenderoni

Rated Where Have You Been?

Hi hi! So Rihanna finally made the right move and released an epic single from Talk That Talk. After 'We Found Love' the other two singles seemed lack lustre on their own, but new cut 'Where Have You Been?' is an immense dance floor mercenary of a song, that starts of in a teasing down tempo fashion, only to build into an intense and epic electronic break down. I just hope she whips out 'Drunk On Love' next, to really tip the scales back in her direction.

5/5

Rated Roundup: Connor Maynard is awful and Beyonce's still fabulous!

There are so many new songs dropping out of the pop-womb right now I figured it would make more sense to just post 5 of them in one go. Some are good, some not so. Some are seductive, some about as appealing as a night in bed with Pat Butcher's corpse. The one thing I will say though, even if you can't tell right now, is that we are coming into the 'Summer Smash' season and I couldn't be more excited! 

Cover Drive - 'Sparks'

I was perplexed by their debut single 'Lick Ya Down', which deserves negative numbers out of 5 for its corny and simply awful lyrics and production. However, after a few weeks of 'Twilight' beating through the radio at work I became hooked to the 'Ooh la Ooh la' hook and Caribbean flavour of their second effort. Now they're back with a third assault on the charts and it's a bit like  a ballad version of 'What's My Name?' by Rihanna, with the gorgeous West Indian percussion floating about in seductive fashion. This is guaranteed to be big over here, with its summery sound being exactly what we need right now.

4/5

Beyonce - 'End Of Time'

It's been almost a year since 4 was unleashed and the rumours of a terrible album were quashed under the immense booty of one third of Destiny's Child. A string of singles (maybe 5?) later and we have had some of the most refreshing music to hit the charts in years. 'Countdown' was fantastic fun and its production unlike anything else around and '1+1' was stripped back and hypnotically nude. Now 'End Of Time' is being presented on its own and it's a glory to behold. Although we could have done with a funky music video to support it, this is one of the most fun and colourful songs Beyonce's every released, with its pounding military drums and blasting horn section, the lady seems unable to make a 'single' mistake.

5/5

The Saturdays - '30 Days'

I was a big fan of 'Heart Takes Over' but it failed to ignite the charts. In fact, The Saturdays were once filled with such promise, but seem to have fallen victim to genericism, which is causing their music to be relegated to the bottom end of the top 10. Could '30 Days' be the song to break this pattern and could it become their first number one? Probably not. The chorus is catchy and in places quite exciting, along with some pretty standard but refreshing dance-floor ready production. Unfortunately, the song is let down by some dodgy verses that feel like they were written as some Secondary school kid's music project, 'I woke up in the morning/felt so far away/marks on my calendar/don't hurry up the days...'. 

2/5

Connor Maynard - 'Can't Say No'

"The British Bieber" is what the critics are hailing this fame hungry youth from Brighton as. Great, just what we wanted. I don't really know where to begin, so I'll give the production a swift roundhouse kick to the face first. The beat is repetitive, uninspired and completely lacklustre. As for vocal performance, Connard is as convincing a singer as Bieber, that's for sure. Neither of them has any vocal 'oomph' and singing in one key doesn't count as young talent. You might not be able to say no Connard, but I can guarantee there's plenty rejection coming your way.

0/5

Fun. - 'We Are Young'

I was engulfed by this song the first time I heard it. It's already broken chart records in the US and it looks set to do big things on our side of the Atlantic too. It's a pop record by an indie band, only it's not a pop record. It's so confusing, because I know it sounds Indie and I know it sounds pop, but I just can't decide which it should be! Bugger it. Let's just say I love it! Big Indie-Pop-Somethingorother anthem of 2012.

5/5

Rated Blue Jeans

I love this song from Lana Del Rey's debut album Born To Die. I made it clear how much I love the album back in January and as time has gone on I've grown to love it even more. You can say whatever you want about her, but you can't deny her musical charm. Also check out 'Radio'.

Rated: We Want The Same Thing

I still remember the day my mum brought home the Belinda Carlisle Greatest Hits album on cassette. So much plastic and all that dark brown ribbon inside gave so much joy to a 6 year old boy, who tired of the 60s and 70s albums constantly blasted through the stone walls of his croft house. I didn't have music channels (it was 1993 and I was on an island) and I didn't really listen to radio, so I was completely musically ignorant. It's funny, how one song can bring you back to a specific moment in your past. The below song takes me right back to my kitchen, dancing about and singing with a broom handle, that towered about 2-3 ft above me. I was so talented. May I add, I was wearing a blue and green Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle sweater and matching trackies at the time. This is my song of the 80s.

Rated Girls Gone Wild

Madonna's new single misses the mark set by the infectious 'Gimme All Your Luvin', the first single from her upcoming MDNA album. 'Girls Gone Wild' has the production potential of a dance floor smash but it feels too commercial for a woman who once set standards in the pop music industry and has a history of experimentalism (Ray Of Light). The lyrics are mediocre, bordering on lame, with Madonna as vocally unimpressive as she's ever been, 'Girls just want to have some fun/fire me up like a smokin' gun'. For someone with a back catalogue containing some of the greatest pop songs of the 20th and 21st Centuries, this is a poor effort.

1.5/5

Rated Happy Pills

Loving this song right now

Rated Stooshe - Love Me

There's a big gap gaping in the soil of British girl groups. Girls Aloud have been on 'holiday' for what seems like a decade, which unfortunately hasn't reduced Cheryl Cole's presence even the littlest bit! The Saturdays are pretty much never going to get their first number one single, after what, 3 years of releases? Little Mix... I say nothing.

So how does the music industry fill this gap? With Stooshe. "Stooshe!?" I hear you splutter. Yes, I didn't make a spelling mistake, S-t-o-o-s-h-e. Awful name, things can only get better with the music, right? No, very wrong. Their debut single, 'Love Me' has a retro pop/soul vibe, but lacks any real punch. Considering how much front the girls put on show in the video I expected a pretty climactic ending. Things aren't helped by the annoying speaking parts and frequent giggles when something 'cheeky' is uttered.

There seems to be a buzz surrounding this group, but quite frankly they are obnoxious, irritating and their debut single, although catchy, is poor at best. A random appearance by Travie nobody cares about him McCoy and an infuriating 'attitude attitude attitude' music video, make this whole affair even more, well, infuriating.

0/5

Katy Perry - 'Part Of Me'

As pointless as a repackaged edition of the brilliant Teenage Dream is, it's always nice to get a brand new track from an artist as fun as the busty Katy Perry. The last 24 months have been very kind to this young lady, career wise at least. With epic pop singles like the exhilarating empowerment trip of 'Firework' and the electronic bite of 'E.T', this was a defining pop album of 2010. 

If the title track from this album was a reflection of Perry's feelings back in 2010/2011, new single 'Part Of Me' is a reflection of her current emotional state after her split from hubby Russell Brand at the end of last year. "You chewed me up and spat me out like I was poison in your mouth" she sings in the first verse, a telling assortment of words. The song itself is decent. It has the typical, punchy, Katy Perry pop beat and insanely catchy chorus, but for me it lacks the originality that shone through on singles like 'Last Friday Night' and 'California Gurls'. It's not epic by any means, but it's a strong enough pop song to rack up another million notches on her musical bed post.

3/5

Adele - Flying High with 21

As if things weren't perfect enough in Adele's life right now. An album which is probably going to hit the 15 million sales mark in the coming months; tonnes of royalties pouring in from said album sales; 6 grammy awards; and now a 20th week at number 1 on the Billboard 200. If she hits this mark again next week, she'll break the record set by the late Whitney Houston with her BodyGuard Soundtrack in the early 90s.

'iyaaaaaaah'

21 is reviewed hyah