Rated Xfactor USA: So much better than Tulisa

I'm infatuated with Xfactor USA at the moment. It trumps out shoddy original version completely, from quantity to quality. The production values are triple that of ours, the contestants more likeable and miles more interesting, and most importantly the talent is fucking off the scale. Where we have Rylan, they have Vino Alan; where we have Tulisa, they have Britney Spears. It's an incontestable point I'm making, so don't even waste your energy trying to do so. Just bathe in the amazingness that is the show and witness some singers, who are far better than they have any right to be, kill it every week! 

To celebrate how my love, I've decided to showcase my top 5 contestants. There's no reason why you should appreciate this, other than it's a bloody great use of my spare time. Enjoy!

5 - Beatrice Miller

This girl is 13 years old and features in the show's 'Teens' category, mentored by Britney Spears. She's vocally talented far beyond her years, but dresses like a total fanny. Someone sack the stylist, no actually someone club them over the head and drop them off a bridge because no one should dress like a punky scarecrow. That fail aside, Beatrice has a stunning, smokey quality to her voice like no other person in the competition. Nice girl too.

4 - Carly Rose Sonenclar

Carl managed to nab 2nd place in the show's voting run down in both results shows. Her voice could shatter your balls. The control she has over it is insane and thankfully she doesn't dress like Beatrice. She's a 13 year old ballad singer, who could probably kill Celine Dion with her vocals. 

3 - Emblem 3

Besides having two incredibly fit members and one you would do after a shot of sambuca, these guys are pretty unique. In the context of the show they are unlike no other act and they're fun, interesting and did I mention hot? They have some work to do on tightening up their vocals, but performance wise they nail it ever week. Also, fit.

2 - Cece Frey

I am met with confused stares and accusations of insanity when I proclaim my favour for this girl. Cece started off at the bottom of the leaderboard then shot right up to number 5 after a semi-awesome rendition of 'All By Myself'. Her voice isn't as controlled as it could be and when she drops down from high to low notes she loses it a little, but there's undeniable pop start quality in this hottie. Her stylist has improved massively (rocked the white jumpsuit she did) and I like her hair now. A bit more coaching and this girl could be huge.

1 - Vino Alan

The scary one with a tattooed head. Vino is a total hard ass on the outside, like I'd probably shit my pants if he shook my hand through fear he'd rip me in half down the middle. He's proven himself to be a softy with a surprisingly soulful voice. He's improving every week, after a shaky start. Moving from the rock songs into soul was the right direction and I could quite happily listen to an entire album of his, on repeat all.