Rated Blehtney.

Am I the only person who thinks Britney Spears' video for 'Hold It Against Me' is pretty rubbish? 

Britney - Check.

Bad, straggly hair extensions - Check.

Non-Energetic dance routine on her part - Check.

Looks better than when she was mashing up cars with brollies - Check.

I don't know, she just seems dead behind the eyes, almost like I feel at this stage in my life (soon to be rectified, hopefully). Where is the panting of 'Slave 4 U'? The oomph of 'Stronger'? The sheer sexiness of the 'Toxic' music video? M.I.A apparently. When she's floating about in that white wedding dress thing, it is as if a giant doily has come to life and sprouted human parts. 

What happened? FEDERDEATH.

DO NOT ENJOY. Sorry Britney, but as well as a 'meh' video you've presented us with an average, at best, song which doesn't seem to have a proper chorus structure. 

Meh Meh and Meh.

Rated Animale.

From CR2 Records

Dragonette is a dance DJ tart these days. She chirped us up on the bouncy 'Hello' with Solveig and now she's back (or never left) with the darker, rougher sounding 'Animale' with Don Diablo. The song is far from the electro pop of her own solo recordings and those she has performed with other DJs, sounding like it should be blasted into the crowd at an underground rave. I see big things for the widely unknown Dragonette this year, especially if she keeps up work like this.

Rated - Saturday Song.

I have loved Sia from the beginning, but I REALLY love latest LP We Are Born. It's chirpy, feel good pop with Furler's gorgeous vocals meandering through every song with little effort. She is tremendous. 

Here's my favourite song from the album, 'Never Gonna Leave Me'. 

Rated Best Of Me.

This is isn't my usual cuppa, but you just know this is going to do immensely well. I need to release an rnb song = $$$$$.

Rated Born This Way.

Lady Gaga, you either love her or really love her. She sings, dances, expresses the will of the underdog and wears clothing made from dinner. What is there not to love? With so much riding on her sophomore album, new single ‘Born This Way’ is a fitting introduction. With more lure than Sam Way covered in Nutella, this is a humungous chunk of dance floor filling gay anthemry.

“No matter gay, straight or bi, lesbian, transgender life, I’m on the right track, baby I was born to survive”, roars Gaga. Much in the same fashion as classics like ‘Just Dance’, the song demands that you keep doing whatever the hell you want and not be ashamed of it. This is the woman who played a part  in fighting for gay rights in the Armed Forces, a woman who also wore machine gun boobs and crime scene tape across her vagoo. Effortlessly merging ironic humor and politics, and getting away with pretty much any kind of insane behaviour, Gaga is proving she’s here to stay. It takes a few spins before it really grapples you, but persevere. Let’s just hope the rest of the album is as fan-diddly-tastic as this delicious, self-empowerment thumper.

5/5

Rated Sunday Girl SOON.

Ok, so she tweeted me saying her album would drop in March. IT BLOODY WELL BETTER BECAUSE I CANNOT WAIT MUCH LONGER!

Here's a lovely piece of synthy 80s inspired pop to whet my your appetite until she properly whips it out. Come AWN.

It's a lovely slice of a cake I will shove my face gleefully into. 

Rated Raunchaaay.

We were promised a risqué video and we weren’t disappointed. Although the image of RiRi bouncing around on foam willies dressed as a Nun did not transpire from my mind, we do get her rocking a red afro that would make Foxy Cleopatra soil her leopard prints scanties. The third cut from chart dominatrix Loud, S&M, is a seductive dance floor romp, with Rihanna growling her way through 4 minutes 4 seconds of in your face filth.

This is about as camp as Rihanna gets, but with every round of “Na na na na C’Mons” you are drawn that little bit closer to the skin under the latex. It’s the closest we get to meeting the Rihanna of old, only to have a copy of Music of the Sun smashed across our cheek and our hands bound behind us. You’ve got to love this sexed up, “slutty” (her own words!) display, because let’s face it, these days she can do no wrong.

5/5

Rated "Accrocher avec moi."

 

One of my favourite songs of 2010, twice. It doesn't get much better than the top quality morsels from Robyn's Body Talk series and 'Hang With Me' is just one of many. I loved the acoustic version and then my work started playing the single remix, which is just as wonderful. It's a shame it didn't set the charts alight, because this is far better than some of the drivel we were fed from the likes of desperate Dixon and Aggravating Santos. Bleugh.

ENJOY.

Rated - Drink?

It’s not new, nope. It is however, not at all well known and this is a crime. ‘Not the Drinking’ from Lauren Pritchard’s debut album Wasted In Jackson, is a lovely slice of angsty pop. Clever lyrics and a lovely, unique voice make this a song everyone should hear. Check it out.

Rated Adele - 21.

Wait till you reach 24 love, then the shit really does throw itself into the fan.

It’s been exactly three years since Adele’s stunning debut 19. The album presented this new talent as a formidable player in the new wave of female singers climbing their way into the limelight. Her soft, soulful vocals sounded wonderful on debut single ‘Chasing Pavements’ and conveyed raw emotion on a cover of ‘Make You Feel My Love’. For myself, it was mid-tempo ‘Cold Shoulder’ that packed the biggest punch.

Now the British starlet is back with 21, a coming of age album in a not-so ironic manner. Packed with love songs and anti-love songs, the songs here sound far more mature than those of 19. Lead single ‘Rolling In The Deep’ is a wonderful bluesy ride and Adele’s vocals are, in one word, perfect. “We could have had it all, rolling in the deep, you had my heart in your hand, but you played it to the beat”, sings the country’s pride on a song about revenge.

The highlight of the album is the persistent beating of ‘Rumor Has It’, which glows with a country/blues inspired sound. The song is relentless and the repetition of the title in the chorus will stick in your mind for days. Although the album is clearly country inspired, there are moments more resonant of Adele’s debut, such as the violins of gorgeous ballad ‘Set Fire to the Rain’. ‘Take It All’ and the heartfelt melody of ‘Someone Like You’ are other potent moments in this collection; the former demonstrating a superb vocal performance and some damn lovely lyrics and the latter being, perhaps, the most melodious and lyrically charming song of Adele’s career.

There are no fillers here, which is no surprise considering that there has been such a significant gap between her two releases. Some may find the blues sound of ‘If It Hadn’t Been For Love’ a difficult adaptation, but that’s purely subjective. 21 is the definitive album of 2011, even though the year has only just begun. What it does most importantly, is cement Adele’s position as one of the most authentic artists of her generation and, probably, the most unique.

Rated Bethy.

I just heard the debut solo song by the fabulousness that is Beth Ditto. ‘Do You Need Someone?’ is a tasty slice of electronic pop, every bit as euphoric as her collaboration with Simian Mobile Disco back in 2009 on ‘Cruel Intentions’. As usual, the Ditto’s voice is overflowing with soul and weaves in and out of the synths like an easy flowing river. If the debut solo album will continue this quality I cannot wait!

Check it out at DazedDigital’s online playlist picks for January 2011.

Rated Adele.

She's younger, more talented and richer than me; the bitch. I jest! Adele is one of the most unique, immensely talented stars to come out of Britain for some time. Her gorgeously soulful vocals floated through the infrastructure of her debut, 19, and now she's back with a new collection inspired by country music, 21. As intriguing as this album sounds I am not lucky enough to have heard it pre-release, but I have got a hold of the lead track 'Rolling in the Deep'.

The song shows of her growing vocal maturity and confidence, with her reaching the higher echelons of contemporary soul. As contemporary as she sounds, her abilities are also classic. Adele's one of those singers that could be from any time period. Shove her in a time machine and she'd slot in smoothly anywhere. "There's a fire starting in my heart..." croons the exemplary Brit at the beginning of this fantastic song. It sounds a bit like 'Black Horse and a Cherry Tree' (K.T Tunstall), with its insistent beat and intoxicating chorus. A crisp, live quality laces the entire production together, making her sound more authentic than ever before. I can't wait to hear what else she has in store for us.

5/5

Rated Songs of 2010.

So 2010 was a bit of a bitch, but the crap aside, there was a mass of immense music on the circuit. Here's my top 5 from last year.

1. Rihanna - Only Girl (In The World)
2. Sunday Girl - Four Floors
3. Robyn - Dancing On My Own
4. Ellie Goulding - Your Song
5. Kele - Tenderoni
   

1: After the dark romp of Rated R, good ol' RiRi launched what has been labeled a 'comeback' (since selling millions is now considered a flop) with the immense dance floor euphoria roller-coaster that is 'Only Girl'. A slice of dance pop from her latest LP Loud, this song is the most exhilarating ride of 2010.

2: Her debut album is still locked up, but I can't contain my excitement for much longer. The gorgeous Jade tweeted me saying it would be out in March, which is too long if you ask me. Never mind, we at least have the beautifully produced 'Four Floors' to dig our claws into. Produced by Diplo, the song has stacked up over 30,000 plays on Last.Fm and nearly 100 on my itunes, unsurprising considering its intoxicating melodies and Sunday Girl's soft, unique vocals.

3: It's no secret that I love the Body Talk series, even if the third 'part' is a bit of a daft conception. The highlight of the entire collection is the epic 'Dancing On My Own', which has one of the most identifiable openings of a song for years. The rumbling riff that hooks you in is followed by an array of electronic synths and Robyn's lovely voice, which infiltrates the psyche like some kind of Blonde haired, Swedish X-Man.

4: Covering an Elton John song is a brave move, but, cut straight from the British crop, Ellie Goulding takes the challenge with gusto. Her understated version of his classic 'Your Song' is an absolute stunner and a well deserved success.

5:When Kele from Bloc Party made the move to the solo sphere I was pretty unsure. Now, I've had a thorough dressing down from his ass kicking debut 'Tenderoni'. It's pretty standard Bloc Party Intimacy stuff, but it's got a climax like no other.

Rated Capitals.

The first time I heard Capitals I instantly thought of The XX, Beirut and some other, folksier sounding bands/artists. They are, however, not in the slightest bit folksy. Capitals are an electronic-pop outfit that veers just far enough away from mainstream to beam with originality. With Angus Carbarns on vocals and Keir MacCulloch twiddling the knobs, this two-piece is as fitted as a fine Armani suit.  

The tracks that are available on their official Myspace page are quite startling. “Hello World” is a fitting introduction, with its up-tempo, pulsing beat and electronic-dance vibe. It’s on ‘A Specter is Haunting Europe’ that we’re really indulged. Sounding like a new-age Soft Cell production, this is where the duo really glistens. “Where are we? We’re lost at sea, we’ve lost our war, we’ve lost our life...” sings Carbarns, his vocals intensely ‘haunting’. The build up to the first chorus is spine tingling and quite unexpected, as the track bursts into a luminescent electro euphoria (due to MacCulloch’s expertise, no doubt). Other highlights from the band’s catalogue are ‘The Grace’, ‘Walking Life’ and ‘Hands Divided’. ‘Walking Life’ is a dream of a song, with violins playing softly in the background, amidst an array of synths. It has a playful chorus, and at times Carbarns sounds like a less shaky Marcus Mumford. ‘Hands Divided’ begins sounding like an XX album cut, but swiftly maneuvers to being (by this point) an identifiable Capitals record.

With the combined effort of these two, clearly, gifted and aspiring men, there’s no doubt in my mind that they will go far. There’s plenty space for them in the industry right now, what with the orgasm of female vocals that is dominating air time. Maybe Capitals can be the ones to break through this and subsequently take some truly brilliant music across the country.

Rated Recommended - You Lost Me.

After a racy performance on the Xfactor final, Christina Aguilera saw a huge boost in sales, especially for her soundtrack to debut feature film/musical Burlesque. With any luck these sales will transfer to her latest studio effort, Bionic, which proved impotent in the race for platinum. However, the second single from said album, 'You Lost Me' should have made some chart impact, with its stripped back production and lyrical beauty.

It may not have the 'oomph' that made 'Beautiful' and 'The Voice Within' huge hits and huge vocal showcases, but 'You Lost Me' is a lovely little song. "It feels like our world's been infected and somehow you left me neglected", whispers a restrained Christina. I say restrained because there are few growls from the diva on this ballad, her vocals seeming a bit 'held back'. It sounds great, but I can't help but feel that she wasn't really there when recording this potential belter. Things pick up toward the end (as they always do) and it's nice not to have to keep up with her vocal gymnastics, but it would have been good to take a bullet when listening to this one.

3.5/5

Rated Flashback - A Strange Education.

The Cinematics debut album A Strange Education is a glorious venture into contemporary rock music. With brilliantly written and produced tracks like ‘Break’, ‘Keep Forgetting’ and ‘Human’, the band should have been propelled into the higher echelons with the likes of Kings of Leon. Though they aren’t stadium rockers, the band has achieved much. A key example being their performance on American talk show ‘Jimmy Kimmel’, a show that has hosted performances from superstars like Eminem and Lady GaGa. 

The highlight from their debut outing is the exhilarating ‘A Strange Education’, a song that takes epic moments from other bands and stomps all over them like CoCo Chanel stabbing her 6” heel into a Primark Ugg. Sounding a bit like a less gritty Paul Banks (Interpol), lead singer Scott Rinning’s stunning voice glides through with ease. With its immense vocals, huge chorus, and intense build up, this is a song that needs to be heard by everyone. 

5/5

Rated Solveig et Dragonette.

Having worked together before on the catchy as hell ‘Boys and Girls’ in 2009, French DJ/Producer Martin Solveig and Synth-pop fox Dragonette are reunited on new single ‘Hello’. It sounds like a summer dance anthem, with Solveig’s fresh production and Dragonette’s unique and intriguing vocals going together like me and a Burberry trench coat. I hope this collaboration gets some strong airplay, even if just to gain Dragonette some of the media attention she sorely deserves.

Rated Nyah.

With Ms. Dynamite absent, Alesha Dixon’s music career flopping about like a harpooned halibut, and N-Dubz being decidedly attitude-free, there’s space in the British r’n’b scene for a new (female) face; Princess Nyah might just be that. New single ‘Take Control’ may not be the most vocally illustrative piece, nor the most original song around, but love it or hate it, its aggressive rap segue and synthy hip hop beat are guaranteed to make your bones rattle in a club. 

Rated 'Shoulda Been Singles'.

Everyone knows the fury that comes with an inferior album track being released as a chart single, when there’s far better material available. If only we could be ‘their’ manager! Anyhoo, here are the top 10 album tracks that I feel should/could have been singles and torn up club dance floors and/or radio playlists, the world over. 

1: ‘Freakum Dress’.

    B’Day.

    Beyonce.

This is potentially the best track from her sophomore album (bar ‘Get Me Bodied’ and ‘Upgrade You’). Performed live it’s got some hot electric guitar riffs ploughing through it and is a key example of the feminist attitude that continually rears its head in Beyonce’s own brand of pop music.

2: ‘Howl’.

     Lungs.

     Florence and the Machine.

My favourite track she’s made so far, this is an absolute beast. It shows off her unique vocals at their best and is one of the most uptempo songs on the record.

3: ‘Could Have Been You’.

     Colour Me Free.

     Joss Stone.

Yeah yeah, so everyone hates Joss Stone and her shoddy album artwork. She’s annoying, yes, but her voice is stunning on this should have been single. It has potential to be her best song to date and has a nice, crisp, live jazz-bar quality to it. Me likey.

4: ‘Mannequin’.

    One of the Boys.

    Katy Perry.

She’s got some belting material on her second album Teenage Dream, true. However, her debut still has a potent charm that it’s hard to forget a track like ‘Mannequin’. A shiner on her first outing, the song is totally unforgettable.

5: ‘Monster’.

    The Fame Monster.

     Lady GaGa.

All the songs on her ‘sort of’ second album were/are brilliant. ‘Alejandro’ is sumptuous pop inspired by ‘La Isla Bonita’ and, ‘Bad Romance’ is aneurism inducing Euro-pop at its best. However, ‘Monster’ is a sadly overlooked single choice. With its brilliantly catchy bridge it should have been out there with a filthy music video to boot.

6: ‘Exo-Politics’.

     Black Holes and Revelations.

     Muse.

I love Muse, but I’m not a huge lover of their attempts at down tempo tracks. Thus why I adore this percussion heavy, rock monster. Love Love Love. ‘Uprising’ is good, but it’s got nothing on this behemoth.

7: ‘Unusual You’.

    Circus.

    Britney Spears.

Instead of releasing the OMGSOPOINTLESS ‘Radar’ a year after it was created, ol’ Spearsy should have launched this stunning, haunting track into the airwaves. Produced by Bloodyshy & Avant, the masters behind ‘Toxic’, it’s a total glory of a song. 

8: ‘Fire Bomb’.

    Rated R.

    Rihanna.

One of the highlights of her brilliant Rated R album, ‘Fire Bomb’ is a superior track to the fun but melody-less single ‘Rockstar 101’. Why Rihanna? WHY?

9: ‘Time Machine’.

     Body Talk.

     Robyn.

It’s early days, but I can’t see Robyn releasing anymore Body Talk era single anytime soon since each segment only got one song as promotion. ‘Dancing On My Own’, ‘Hang With Me’ and ‘Indestructible’ are epic electro pop tracks, but one more tasty morsel wouldn’t go a miss. ‘Time Machine’ is just that. So ridiculously fun, melodious and just damn awesome, this HAS to make an appearance on radio soon.

10: ‘Kiss and Resolve’.

      Wall Of Arms.

      Maccabees.

The single releases from this massive leap forward for the British band were pretty damn good. My favourite however, ‘Kiss and Resolve’ got overlooked and I wasn’t pleased. Definitely a highlight of an album that stomps over their debut by having far more direction.

Rated - Indestructible.

Body Talk parts 1 and 2 were brilliant mini albums, bursting with electro pop dance beats and some stunning productions. The upcoming Body Talk is part 3 of the trilogy. It reigns in the finest moments from its children and forms a full length album with 5 new tracks. The lead single from this ultimate album is the gorgeous love anthem 'Indestructible'. With one of the catchiest choruses in Robyn's repetoire, this song is deserving of much chart success. It probably won't get it, due to zero promotion, but will be a fan favourite along with the epic singles 'Dancing On My Own' and 'Hang With Me'. It's just as lovely as the acoustic version featured at the end of Body Talk Part 2 but this remix gives the song the edge it needs to gel with the themes of this album series. Pretty damn nice.

5/5