Girls Aloud have been away for what feels like forever (I think it's only 2 years...?) and when it was announced they would be making a comeback gay pulses were sent into a stratospheric beat frenzy all over the UK. If you don't love Girls Aloud you're an idiot. If you don't love Girls Aloud you're lying, because there's nothing to dislike. Over the past 10 years they've rebranded girl group pop, hell they've contributed to the reshaping of the female pop landscape along with their deceased rivals the Sugababes (God rest their souls). When 'Sound of the Underground' slipped onto airwaves it was the biggest surprise of the 00s. Uber-cool girl pop which actually did have an underground feel about it. Nobody expected it and it was that song that helped start the shift in British pop music for the 21st Century.
Follow up 'No Good Advice', like its mother, still holds its ground today. A gift of super producer Xenomania; his ability to put together timeless pop songs is unsurpassed. Basically, every artist in the world should work with him. True story.
Right, so it's been 10 years since SOTUG and NGA. It's been 10 long, wonderful, poppy years. New track 'Something New', I was very hard on a few weeks ago (scoring it 1 out of 5). I was very hasty as in the weeks between the review and now, where I've heard it on the radio everyday, I've amended my rating to a 4/5. I guess I'm impressionable, but the more I listened to it the more I realised how brilliant the song is. It's timely, well produced and so Girls Aloud it hurts and that's not even mentioning how fantastic the chorus is. So yes, sorry about the bad rating, gays.
TEN is the album that was going to showcase celebrate 10 years of the group. It does just that. There wasn't space for everything ('Life Got Cold' has been sacked), but what there is here is a stellar collection of GA songs, which may I add are perfectly track listed. There are the songs I mentioned earlier, plus the likes of 'The Promise', 'Jump', 'Love Machine' and 'Biology'. Then there are the songs that are so bloody brilliant they should be stashed away somewhere safe for when the world ends:
'The Loving Kind' is one of the groups most 'hater-pleasing' songs. Gorgeous, soft electronic beats and amazing vocals, this was written and intended for a Pet Shop Boys album. Thank God that didn't happen because this is a 5/5 moment I never want to forget.
'Untouchable', another Xenomania masterpiece. I garner controversy whenever I share this as one of my top 3 GA songs of all time. My response, 'piss off'. Some of the best vocals on any of their tracks, some lovely lyrics, something about 'lonely robots'. I am much more a fan of the original 6 minute version though. Kimberley looks hot in the video.
'The Show' was the song that showed the group's evolution into a more electro-pop era. It's so catchy it makes NoroVirus look like a doily. Awesome, awesome pop. I'm torn on 'Sexy No No No' here. So I'm going to say the same thing about it. Just replace 'The Show' and re-read the blurb.
'Can't Speak French' is another one for the not so keen among us. From their critically acclaimed Tangled Up era, this song stuck around for bloody ages. It's just more gooey, Xenopop, with a brilliantly witty concept. This is a contender for pop song of the decade (2000-2010), only surpassed by the next song.
'Call the Shots' is one of those songs that only comes around once in a decade, perhaps once in a century. As soon as it kicks in you know things are about to get very good. It's a heady array of electronic pulsing beats, sweet synths and a chorus so beautifully performed it could bring a tear to your eye. If pop music is art, this is the fucking Mona Lisa.
There are 14 singles on this album, not to mention the bonus disc which contains 'Wake Me Up' and an array of other amazing songs. It would take me forever to blurb about them all, so I won't. You will have to just writhe about to my above recommendations. Girls Aloud haven't just dumped lots of their great songs onto a great album, no no no! They have given fans 4 new songs too (including Something New). 'On the Metro' is a Nicola Roberts penned and DJ Fresh produced track and it could actually be up there with the group's finest moments. I only heard the track less than 24 hours ago and I love it already. 'Beautiful Because You Love Me' is a pretty ballad with lots of pretty singing (Nicola sounds particularly great). The GA ballads have never been my preference, but this is alright as ballads go. 'Every Now and Then' has some incredible production to show off and it's destined to fill the dance floors of gay clubs all over the country.
As I said before, I honestly do not believe it's possible to dislike Girls Aloud. With an almost perfect back catalogue and evidence that 10 years on they still have some of the best pop writers and producers at their fingertips, it's impossible to offer up a negative critique of TEN. It's so much more than a greatest hits album; it's an important historical documentation of British pop music in the 00s. I just hope that it continues to evolve with a group like this at the helm.
5/5
*I'd just like to add... why have I never heard 'Graffiti My Soul' before?!
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