Rated: 'Scream & Shout' - Remix

Right, for some unfathomable reason to make a shit load more money Will.I.AM has decided to team up with Britney (not that she had to contribute anything more than her shoddy English-accent inspired vocals) again for a remix of their mega hit 'Scream & Shout', only this time PDiddy is on board along with some other rapper people who are probably quite famous but I don't care about.

I've listened to it a few times and I can't hear a 'It's Britney Bitch' line anywhere... cardinal sin of pop. Although PDiddy does slam down a lot of 'Turn it up bitch', whether this be to Britney or not I'm not sure. It's a pointless remix of a pretty pointless song. As much as I would dance to this in a club and I would dance to anything after 3 margaritas, this is even more annoying and a lot less infectious than the original mix.

Shite.

1/5

Rated: Boomerang - Nicole Scherzinger

She was 'shamazing' on the Xfactor last year; in fact she was the only amazing thing about the whole season. She also had a pretty decent debut solo album called Killer Love which contained some brilliant pop songs like 'Poison', 'Don't Hold Your Breath', 'Club Banger Nation' and 'Right There'. It's been a couple of years since this release and I was feeling a bit parched, until I found out a new single was coming out in 2013, called 'Boomerang'. 

The preview clips were unimpressive and instilled no hope and unfortunately the full length song is just the same as the clips, but the disappointment lasts for 3 minutes 19 seconds. It's not the worst song ever (have you heard Tulisa's abysmal debut?) but it does her vocal range no justice. The production is tinny, weak and pretty anticlimactic. I was expecting a kick in the nuts, I got an unwanted tickle. Fingers crossed single two is a leaping improvement.

1.5/5

PS: The song lost another .5 marks due to the horrendous artwork.

Rated: Suit & Tie

It's been 6 years since Justin Timberlake had an album out. Yes 6 years without the body popping, butt shaking, hip swaying, 'snake' swinging high pitched pursuits of the eternally attractive one. To be honest, I thought he'd given up since making a bag of cash from his first two albums and all that N*Sync homoerotica. 

Now JT is back with a slice of pop so smooth it could feature on a Gillette ad. He's roped in Jay Z for shits & giggles too, which makes the whole affair even more exciting. 'Shirt & Tie' has a retro funk soul sound, not unlike something you'd encounter on a 'Greatest Funk Ever' compilation. It's a step away from the pop/r'n'b Timbaland stylings of 2006 and a leap forward into a much more mature arena. If this is the worst cut from his upcoming album then it's bound to be the best album ever... right?

5/5

Ok on further listens I've realised I was over excited that JT was back and overrated. It's actually more of a 3/5 than a 5/5. Sorry for any distress caused.

Rated i: Top 25 Songs of 2012

The end of another year. Jesus Christina. 

So here we are, preparing our stomachs for the warmth and imminent agony of 'post Xmas dinner'. Figuring out what the hell we're doing at New Year, whether we're going to spend it getting pissed at a party or curled up on the sofa in our new slipper boots and long-johns, watching something uber violent and scary (just me?). One thing is certain, even if our festive plans aren't, 2012 has been an awesome year for music. It's been emotional, fun, surprising, revelationary (made up a word there) and camper than Louis Spence's underwear drawer.

We had the long awaited come back of Xtina with the epic 'Your Body', which didn't quite burn up the charts, but it's one of my top played songs of the year so far. There was the gorgeous revelation that is Jessie Ware and her mind blowing album Devotion; an album so perfect, I shit you not, it changed my year for the better. An Xfactor contestant released a 5 Star single and made my top 15. Rihanna is in there, of course, when wouldn't she be? She'll still be releasing singles when she's 65, probably still wearing a see through dress and getting soaked on the Xfactor live shows, now judged by 3 corpses and Louis Walsh (immortal). Rita Ora managed to get one on there, as did Leona Lewis who yet again flopped a bit. Poor cow. You're going to notice soon enough that there's a Eurovision entry on there too... I know good pop music when I hear it and it's one mother of a pop song.  Then we have the behemoth debut album by Scottish songstress Emeli Sande, Our Version of Events which has a single flying high in my countdown. Have a look below and let me know your thoughts, positive or negative. To be fair, I don't care if you think Sam and the Womp should be number one. Also, don't go expecting to see the ear torture that is 'Candy' by Robbie Williams. Over my dead body:

25. Aiden Grimshaw - Curtain Call

The first of the Xfactor alumni to appear on my countdown, and not one of them's a winner. Aiden surprised with his brilliant debut album, packed with dub-step and drum & bass influences all produced by the same dude who helped pull together Lana Del Rey's debut album. This was the second single from the album and although it didn't really see much of the charts, it's a stunning power ballad, brimming with cool and a huge chorus.

24. Girls Aloud - Something New

At first listen I despised this annoying little bitch of a song. Then once I realised how awesome the chorus was I let them off for having the 'G-g-g-go-go-go' stutter. It's not their best song but it is one of the catchiest mothers of 2012. Xenomania never falters.

23. Loreen - Euphoria

I've never liked a Eurovision entry/winner, let alone loved one. This song is instantly incredible and is Eurovision's finest moment to date.

22. Carly Rae Jepsen - Call Me Maybe

When I first heard this I thought it was a joke song, like 'Candy' by Robbie Williams. I thought, 'what is this pish? It's a bit like that joke song by Robbie Williams called 'Candy''. Then after a couple of listens and seeing the video I thought, 'This is actually amazing and so much better than 'Candy' by Robbie Williams, which is total shite'. This is the second biggest song in the UK this year and will remain one of the catchiest pop tunes of the next decade (I imagine).

21. Rita Ora - R.I.P (Feat. Tinie Tempah)

Rita Ora hasn't had 20 number one hits on the charts; she has had 20 number one hits between her legs though. Ooohhhh Boom. The best part about this debut single from 20 Ora, apart from the hotness that is Tinie Tempah, is that panting bridge. It's one of my favourite moments of 2012 and is the finest song from her debut album ORA, which I didn't review very favourably.

Rated: Rihanna - Stay

Like the bus in Speed, Rihanna continues to tear up the chart roads like a hot wheeling musical maniac. Following on from the wonderful 'Diamonds' from the not so wonderful album Unapologetic, new single 'Stay Ft. Mikky Ekko' is a gorgeous piano lead ballad and perhaps one of Rihanna's most accomplished moments. Both singers give emotive performances; Ri's vocals are on point and the piano riff is one of the most perfect I've heard this year. As far as Rihanna ballads go this is grown up, cool, authentic and packed with passion.

If you don't like the song you soon will, trust me.

5/5

Rated: Jessie Ware - 'Sweet Talk'

 Even though her debut album Devotion had me amending the tracklisting to play 'Wildest Moments' and 'Night Light' after every other song, the album is packed with gorgeous 80s synth inspired tracks just begging for release. New single 'Sweet Talk' is one of the more upbeat songs, with a retro feel and stunning vocal hooks. It's definitely an album highlight, not quite as affecting as WM or 'Taking in Water' but still perfect. This is a great example of why you need Devotion in your life. Fresh, inspiring, stunning. Album of 2012 for sure!

Check it:

5/5

Rated: Gossip - Recall

It's been a few months since we heard from the wonderful pipes of Gossip front woman Beth Ditto. So, feeling a little Gossip nostalgia this evening I played through Music For Men. When it ended I remembered how amazing their last single was/is. Have a listen below and roll about in its awesomeness:

'Move in the Right Direction'

Rated: Lulu James - Sweet Soul

If you haven't heard about Lulu James before, I'm sure you were going to soon enough, had I not just posted this. That was a mouthful. This North-East girl has one of the most intriguing voices I've heard this year, smooth, soulful and just damn gorgeous to behold. Check out her single 'Be Safe' below:

Rated: Rihanna + Xfactor = Poporgasm(s)

The Xfactor Live stage is used to ol' dirty Rihanna Fenty parading up and down its walkways with her buns out. She's belted out some impressive and, at times, iconic, performances on its fancy glowy surfaces. Her recent performance of 'Diamonds' saw her get totally drenched on stage and I am pretty certain that's never happened on the show before; well it did happen to Chris Maloney every week (nervous sweats). 

Tonight saw RiRi slow things right down with her beautiful new single 'Stay' from 7th album Unapologetic. It's one of the good songs from the album and she showed off some vocal ability many probably didn't expect her to have. It was lovely, really just lovely, but I wanted more... well fuck me did I get more?! She only blasted out 'We Found Love', which is only one of the best pop songs of all time. The joint was pumping. I was elated to the point of palpitation and my faith in her was once again restored. 

Rihanna, as much as I don't love your newest album, I still love you... almost as much as my mum and cat. Almost.

Click through below for some Rfactor highlights!

Rated: Leona Lewis - Lovebird

The third album from Xfactor revelation Leona Lewis, Glassheart, should have been a perfect 5; it wasn't. Then again, nobody's perfect right? Unless you're an artist known as Jessie Ware and you released a glorious debut called Devotion. I digress! Leona is immensely talented and Glassheart is good, but it's just good and not mesmerising which is really the kind of album she needed to release at this point in her career. A strong yet mildly disappointing chart debut of number 4, the album was expected to tear things up. It didn't; it didn't do a lot of what was predicted, actually.

New single 'Lovebird' is a grower, but it is instantly likeable. It's a big pretty ballad about breaking out of your cage and such, with big stunning vocals from Leona and easy-osy contemporary ballad production. The problem I have is not with the song, but with the selection of it as the 2nd single from an album that has hardly set the world alight. With 'shock factor' songs like 'Come Alive' and 'Glassheart', this could be a musically fatal move for the girl who was once unstoppable. 

3/5

Rated: Solange - Losing You

Solange Knowles is one of those artists whose under-ratedness is an utter travesty. Her second studio album Sol-Angel and the Hadley St. Dreams was a triumphant record, so soulful and so funky it deserved far more success than it achieved. The singles lifted from the album, 'I Decided', 'Sandcastle Disco' and 'T.O.N.Y' were some of the best singles around at the time. Unfortunately due to little/no marketing and no presence in the UK, the album kind of floundered a bit. Shame.

Thankfully she's getting of that long overdue recognition. New single 'Losing You' is as classy as pop can get. Its smooth neo-soul groove is so hypnotic you'll be floated away on first listen. Check out the video below.

5/5

Rated: Girls Aloud - TEN

Girls Aloud have been away for what feels like forever (I think it's only 2 years...?) and when it was announced they would be making a comeback gay pulses were sent into a stratospheric beat frenzy all over the UK. If you don't love Girls Aloud you're an idiot. If you don't love Girls Aloud you're lying, because there's nothing to dislike. Over the past 10 years they've rebranded girl group pop, hell they've contributed to the reshaping of the female pop landscape along with their deceased rivals the Sugababes (God rest their souls). When 'Sound of the Underground' slipped onto airwaves it was the biggest surprise of the 00s. Uber-cool girl pop which actually did have an underground feel about it. Nobody expected it and it was that song that helped start the shift in British pop music for the 21st Century.

Follow up 'No Good Advice', like its mother, still holds its ground today. A gift of super producer Xenomania; his ability to put together timeless pop songs is unsurpassed. Basically, every artist in the world should work with him. True story. 

Right, so it's been 10 years since SOTUG and NGA. It's been 10 long, wonderful, poppy years. New track 'Something New', I was very hard on a few weeks ago (scoring it 1 out of 5). I was very hasty as in the weeks between the review and now, where I've heard it on the radio everyday, I've amended my rating to a 4/5. I guess I'm impressionable, but the more I listened to it the more I realised how brilliant the song is. It's timely, well produced and so Girls Aloud it hurts and that's not even mentioning how fantastic the chorus is. So yes, sorry about the bad rating, gays. 

Rated: Sia Aka God - Sings Diamonds

My favourite, adorable, wonderful, talented and just fucking incredibly perfect singer Sia has performed  Rihanna's 'Diamonds' live. Good for her because it's her song. Good for her because, where Rihanna's is a 5/5, this is a 10/5. Popjustice drew my attention to this fantastic moment this evening and I thank him/her/them from the bottom of my Sia soaked heart. Let's hope she does just as PJ says she should do and release her own original versions of all the amazing songs she's written/contributed to for the likes of Ri and the unstoppable crap music machine that is Flo Rida.

Click through on the link below for a lovely song from Sia's amazing album We Are Born.

Rated: Ke$ha - Die Young

It's been a while since we heard from the 'not so great a singer - every inch a great popstar' KE-dollarsign-HA. Her debut album Animal sold over 3 million copies, pretty impressive for a 25 year old who can't hold a note. It's not vocal talent that garnered favour for this crazy wench though, it's her wacky persona and tanks of charisma. With hair that looks like it hasn't been washed in weeks, a dirty snarl and a string of ridiculously catchy hit songs she's the ideal pop character in an age where perfection is so heavily sought. 

New single 'Die Young', from upcoming second album Warrior, opens a bit like a Flo Rida track with a heavily produced guitar riff and a playground chant of 'let's make the most of the night like we're going to die young'. It soon bursts into a hyper, electropop dance anthem with more hooks than a Fisherman's tackle box. This is probably her best song to date (almost tying 'Tik Tok' and 'Blow'), and is definitely one of my favourite songs of 2012. It's a fun way to close of the music year.

5/5

Rated: Kelly Clarkson - Catch My Breath

With the release of her first greatest hits compilation hurtling towards us it seemed only fitting for Kelly Clarkson to release a new song to sate her pop hungry fans. With 20million+ albums sold she's had a pretty impressive run of damn strong hits and songs that deserved to be hits but didn't quite make the impact expected ('Dark Side' had number one written all over it). 

Like Christina Aguilera's Stripped is her unbeatable album, Breakaway is Kelly's. This was an album without filler, without cheese and gimmick; just pure pop perfection. New single 'Catch My Breath' is worthy of such a title. Another self empowerment, think positive, pop power anthem with awesome vocals and simple production. It's typically Kelly, but typically and predictably great.

4/5

Rated Xfactor USA: So much better than Tulisa

I'm infatuated with Xfactor USA at the moment. It trumps out shoddy original version completely, from quantity to quality. The production values are triple that of ours, the contestants more likeable and miles more interesting, and most importantly the talent is fucking off the scale. Where we have Rylan, they have Vino Alan; where we have Tulisa, they have Britney Spears. It's an incontestable point I'm making, so don't even waste your energy trying to do so. Just bathe in the amazingness that is the show and witness some singers, who are far better than they have any right to be, kill it every week! 

To celebrate how my love, I've decided to showcase my top 5 contestants. There's no reason why you should appreciate this, other than it's a bloody great use of my spare time. Enjoy!

5 - Beatrice Miller

This girl is 13 years old and features in the show's 'Teens' category, mentored by Britney Spears. She's vocally talented far beyond her years, but dresses like a total fanny. Someone sack the stylist, no actually someone club them over the head and drop them off a bridge because no one should dress like a punky scarecrow. That fail aside, Beatrice has a stunning, smokey quality to her voice like no other person in the competition. Nice girl too.

Rated Unapologetic: Apology somewhat needed

'I do my own thang, phresh of the runway' bites Riri on the opener to her seventh studio album Unapologetic. It's fierce, a bit indecipherable but full of the bad girl attitude she's developed rapidly over the past two years/albums. Many think she's in overkill at the moment and needs to take a serious hiatus to give everyone else a break. Others are delighted that she keeps popping out albums like a toaster hooked on pop tarts. I fall in with the latter category, or so I thought I did until I heard Unapologetic.

For a major Rihanna fan such as moi, one who has been hard for her music ever since the wonderful Rated R graced airwaves, Unapologetic is a disappointing, somewhat annoying collection of songs. The opener is quite cool, but when the haunting dark beats of 'Numb' (feat Eminem) kick in the album is thrown off track. Repeatedly stating 'I'm going numb' for what seems like an eternity I just pray for the song to come to a swift end. Then we're presented with the duff 'Pour It Up', a song that irritates with its horrendous lyrics and arrangement. The negatives keep coming with 'Get It Over With' and the poppy snorefest duet with ex/not ex lover Chris Brown 'Nobody's Business'. You're right it is nobody's business and also, no one fucking cares.

The album avoids a 1/5 rating because of some moments of brilliance. Lead single 'Diamonds' is a triumph of a song, perhaps a career best. Rihanna's vocals are on point, the production is gorgeous and the lyrics are strong. Chase & Status number 'Jump' is another top track, with its electronic dub step onslaught an absolute joy to absorb. 

The poor songs noted earlier don't showcase any vocal talent. Songs like 'What Now', 'Stay' and 'Love Without Tragedy/Mother Mary' show off the vocals that have grown over the past 3 albums. The first track is an infectious, mid tempo anthem that would fit perfectly onto Loud. The third is an interesting track and is perhaps one of the album's most powerful performances. 'No Love Allowed' sees Rihanna embrace her Bajan accent just like she did on the brilliant 'Man Down' a couple of year ago and is just as loveable. Album closer 'Lost in Paradise' is average dub step pop, but certainly maintains the relief the latter part of the album injects into the sore spot left by the jagged/unpleasant earlier segment.

Unapologetic is not an improvement on Talk That Talk, which albeit wasn't a perfect album, and it certainly doesn't serve as a worthy successor to Loud or Rated R. It does show that Rihanna, even now in a state of over exposure, still holds the iron fist as the most powerful pop singer in the world. Her last three albums have given fans different music, new experimentations and in some cases a new Rihanna to play with. However, Unapologetic doesn't manage to remain cohesive and has too many mishaps littered throughout its track list to hit the top end of the review scale. There are, as previously said, moments of brilliance here. Songs that remind you of why you fell in love with dirty Ri in the first place. Right, now it's time for your holiday love!

Download: Diamonds/Jump/No Love Allowed/What Now

2.5/5

Rated: Move over Coca Cola truck; hello Mariah

It's long been the sign of the festive season's rebirth but then Coke was thrashed aside by the awesome pop power of Mariah Carey's 'All I Want For Christmas Is You', which has appeared in the iTunes chart and it's not even the beginning of December! Take a look for yourself:


It's Christmas!

Rated: Lana Del Rey - Paradise

Lana Del Rey is one of those artists who comes along once in a lifetime. Sure she might not belt them out like Whitney, drag her ass along the floor like Beyonce, or shave her head like Britney. What she does bring to the pop round table is hypnotic lyrical genius and a delightful old school voice. I'm not a fan of album repackages and I never will be. Unfortunately that's what Lana's gone and done, darnit! Thankfully, I've channeled her telepathically and she decided to release Paradise as an EP. 

The lead single from Paradise is 'Ride', one of 2012's most stunning songs, with one of 2012's most mesmerising music videos. 'American' is an incredible track about love and lust, written in Del Rey poetic fashion and on every listen I am transported to an open top car on the American West Coast. 'Body Electric' is a familiar and addictive song from Lana's live sets and 'Cola' shocks on first play as she sings 'My pussy tastes like pepsi-cola...' laid over a beautiful violin and guitar riff arrangement. 'Blue Velvet' opens like a sister of 'Born to Die' with climaxing violins, before Lana's iconic voice floats into ear shot. 

Paradise is a strong EP, however it would have benefited from some new flavours. Born to Die, as amazing as it was/is, wouldn't have been such a success without the likes of 'National Anthem' and 'Diet Mountain Dew' to mix up the tempo. Paradise, maintains a slow pace, with the exception of 'Ride', which at the very start doesn't break things up very well. Overall however, this serves as a lovely addition to the great moments of her debut.

3/5

Rated: Christina Aguilera - Lotus

It's been over two years since Christina Aguilera stepped into her Bionic heels and received a swift pummelling from critics and long time fans for her change of direction and 'copy cat' Lady GaGa sound. As disappointing as Bionic was/is, mainly because it's not cohesive as an album, it did have some pretty cool sounding songs on it, 'Elastic Love' and 'You Lost Me' for example. Still, it was an album that thrust Christina into pop obscurity, but thanks to an annoyingly addictive duet with Maroon 5 on 'Moves Like Jagger' she regained a lot of her fan's support. 

Now she's back, with an album she promised would be closer to the style of her mega hit Stripped, an album so popconic it should have its own spot in the hall of fame for awesomeness. Lotus is far more cohesive than its predecessor and it's not ballad heavy, which is a relief following the brilliance of lead single 'Your Body'. 

'Your Body' was a great way to kick things off, but this album has far more impressive songs just screaming for single release. 'Army Of Me', coined as Fighter 2.0 by the lady herself, is a heady electronic dance infused self empowerment anthem and it's just begging for a heavy club edit. 'Red Hot Kinda Love' is a catchy track, in the same vein as her Peaches collab in the past. It's not the strongest song, but it's so infectious it's hard not to toot toot along to the poppy production. Things get really good with 'Let There Be Love', an immense dance floor anthem waiting to happen and perhaps the album's best uptempo track.

There are no poor moments on Lotus, a feat that artists everywhere dream of achieving. There are, however, some slightly weaker songs. 'Cease Fire' is strong, but the lyrical repetitions do tire, making it a grower. 'Around the World' is more instantly addictive, but it still isn't as brilliant as some of the other songs on the album. 'Circles' is unexpected, and hard to pin down, and kind of annoying.

Christina didn't wait over two years to come back alone, oh no. 'Make the World Move' is the first of two duets and it is bloody epic. Sapping some of the retro influences that made Back to Basics such a success, this is a funky retro soul track and the combination of Christina and Cee Lo Green is so good it's just got to happen again. Blake Shelton pops in to sing on 'Just a Fool', an epic country/rock inspired ballad that shows just why Christina continues to be one of pop's most impressive vocalists. 

The ballads aren't kept just for duets, there's some solo action too. 'Blank Page' is a gorgeous piano led ballad, cowritten by Australian lyrical mastermind Sia Furler who penned some of Bionic's best moments. Christina's vocals are stratospherically powerful and emotive and the song itself is one of her finest career milestones to date. 'Best of Me' continues her trend for great slow songs. 

Lotus is more brilliant than anyone could have anticipated. The skeptic in me thought it could be disastrous, but only because I wanted so badly for it to be good. Thankfully I am left satisfied and eager to listen again. With some of her decade long career's strongest, most impressive moments, this is an album deserving of respect and success. To answer the question on all fan lips: Yes it is better than Stripped.

4/5

Download: Army of Me/Let There be Love/Blank Page