Rated Where Have You Been?

Hi hi! So Rihanna finally made the right move and released an epic single from Talk That Talk. After 'We Found Love' the other two singles seemed lack lustre on their own, but new cut 'Where Have You Been?' is an immense dance floor mercenary of a song, that starts of in a teasing down tempo fashion, only to build into an intense and epic electronic break down. I just hope she whips out 'Drunk On Love' next, to really tip the scales back in her direction.

5/5

Rated Roundup: Connor Maynard is awful and Beyonce's still fabulous!

There are so many new songs dropping out of the pop-womb right now I figured it would make more sense to just post 5 of them in one go. Some are good, some not so. Some are seductive, some about as appealing as a night in bed with Pat Butcher's corpse. The one thing I will say though, even if you can't tell right now, is that we are coming into the 'Summer Smash' season and I couldn't be more excited! 

Cover Drive - 'Sparks'

I was perplexed by their debut single 'Lick Ya Down', which deserves negative numbers out of 5 for its corny and simply awful lyrics and production. However, after a few weeks of 'Twilight' beating through the radio at work I became hooked to the 'Ooh la Ooh la' hook and Caribbean flavour of their second effort. Now they're back with a third assault on the charts and it's a bit like  a ballad version of 'What's My Name?' by Rihanna, with the gorgeous West Indian percussion floating about in seductive fashion. This is guaranteed to be big over here, with its summery sound being exactly what we need right now.

4/5

Beyonce - 'End Of Time'

It's been almost a year since 4 was unleashed and the rumours of a terrible album were quashed under the immense booty of one third of Destiny's Child. A string of singles (maybe 5?) later and we have had some of the most refreshing music to hit the charts in years. 'Countdown' was fantastic fun and its production unlike anything else around and '1+1' was stripped back and hypnotically nude. Now 'End Of Time' is being presented on its own and it's a glory to behold. Although we could have done with a funky music video to support it, this is one of the most fun and colourful songs Beyonce's every released, with its pounding military drums and blasting horn section, the lady seems unable to make a 'single' mistake.

5/5

The Saturdays - '30 Days'

I was a big fan of 'Heart Takes Over' but it failed to ignite the charts. In fact, The Saturdays were once filled with such promise, but seem to have fallen victim to genericism, which is causing their music to be relegated to the bottom end of the top 10. Could '30 Days' be the song to break this pattern and could it become their first number one? Probably not. The chorus is catchy and in places quite exciting, along with some pretty standard but refreshing dance-floor ready production. Unfortunately, the song is let down by some dodgy verses that feel like they were written as some Secondary school kid's music project, 'I woke up in the morning/felt so far away/marks on my calendar/don't hurry up the days...'. 

2/5

Connor Maynard - 'Can't Say No'

"The British Bieber" is what the critics are hailing this fame hungry youth from Brighton as. Great, just what we wanted. I don't really know where to begin, so I'll give the production a swift roundhouse kick to the face first. The beat is repetitive, uninspired and completely lacklustre. As for vocal performance, Connard is as convincing a singer as Bieber, that's for sure. Neither of them has any vocal 'oomph' and singing in one key doesn't count as young talent. You might not be able to say no Connard, but I can guarantee there's plenty rejection coming your way.

0/5

Fun. - 'We Are Young'

I was engulfed by this song the first time I heard it. It's already broken chart records in the US and it looks set to do big things on our side of the Atlantic too. It's a pop record by an indie band, only it's not a pop record. It's so confusing, because I know it sounds Indie and I know it sounds pop, but I just can't decide which it should be! Bugger it. Let's just say I love it! Big Indie-Pop-Somethingorother anthem of 2012.

5/5

Rated Blue Jeans

I love this song from Lana Del Rey's debut album Born To Die. I made it clear how much I love the album back in January and as time has gone on I've grown to love it even more. You can say whatever you want about her, but you can't deny her musical charm. Also check out 'Radio'.

Rated: We Want The Same Thing

I still remember the day my mum brought home the Belinda Carlisle Greatest Hits album on cassette. So much plastic and all that dark brown ribbon inside gave so much joy to a 6 year old boy, who tired of the 60s and 70s albums constantly blasted through the stone walls of his croft house. I didn't have music channels (it was 1993 and I was on an island) and I didn't really listen to radio, so I was completely musically ignorant. It's funny, how one song can bring you back to a specific moment in your past. The below song takes me right back to my kitchen, dancing about and singing with a broom handle, that towered about 2-3 ft above me. I was so talented. May I add, I was wearing a blue and green Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle sweater and matching trackies at the time. This is my song of the 80s.

Rated Girls Gone Wild

Madonna's new single misses the mark set by the infectious 'Gimme All Your Luvin', the first single from her upcoming MDNA album. 'Girls Gone Wild' has the production potential of a dance floor smash but it feels too commercial for a woman who once set standards in the pop music industry and has a history of experimentalism (Ray Of Light). The lyrics are mediocre, bordering on lame, with Madonna as vocally unimpressive as she's ever been, 'Girls just want to have some fun/fire me up like a smokin' gun'. For someone with a back catalogue containing some of the greatest pop songs of the 20th and 21st Centuries, this is a poor effort.

1.5/5

Rated Happy Pills

Loving this song right now

Rated Stooshe - Love Me

There's a big gap gaping in the soil of British girl groups. Girls Aloud have been on 'holiday' for what seems like a decade, which unfortunately hasn't reduced Cheryl Cole's presence even the littlest bit! The Saturdays are pretty much never going to get their first number one single, after what, 3 years of releases? Little Mix... I say nothing.

So how does the music industry fill this gap? With Stooshe. "Stooshe!?" I hear you splutter. Yes, I didn't make a spelling mistake, S-t-o-o-s-h-e. Awful name, things can only get better with the music, right? No, very wrong. Their debut single, 'Love Me' has a retro pop/soul vibe, but lacks any real punch. Considering how much front the girls put on show in the video I expected a pretty climactic ending. Things aren't helped by the annoying speaking parts and frequent giggles when something 'cheeky' is uttered.

There seems to be a buzz surrounding this group, but quite frankly they are obnoxious, irritating and their debut single, although catchy, is poor at best. A random appearance by Travie nobody cares about him McCoy and an infuriating 'attitude attitude attitude' music video, make this whole affair even more, well, infuriating.

0/5

Katy Perry - 'Part Of Me'

As pointless as a repackaged edition of the brilliant Teenage Dream is, it's always nice to get a brand new track from an artist as fun as the busty Katy Perry. The last 24 months have been very kind to this young lady, career wise at least. With epic pop singles like the exhilarating empowerment trip of 'Firework' and the electronic bite of 'E.T', this was a defining pop album of 2010. 

If the title track from this album was a reflection of Perry's feelings back in 2010/2011, new single 'Part Of Me' is a reflection of her current emotional state after her split from hubby Russell Brand at the end of last year. "You chewed me up and spat me out like I was poison in your mouth" she sings in the first verse, a telling assortment of words. The song itself is decent. It has the typical, punchy, Katy Perry pop beat and insanely catchy chorus, but for me it lacks the originality that shone through on singles like 'Last Friday Night' and 'California Gurls'. It's not epic by any means, but it's a strong enough pop song to rack up another million notches on her musical bed post.

3/5

Adele - Flying High with 21

As if things weren't perfect enough in Adele's life right now. An album which is probably going to hit the 15 million sales mark in the coming months; tonnes of royalties pouring in from said album sales; 6 grammy awards; and now a 20th week at number 1 on the Billboard 200. If she hits this mark again next week, she'll break the record set by the late Whitney Houston with her BodyGuard Soundtrack in the early 90s.

'iyaaaaaaah'

21 is reviewed hyah

Rated Our Version of Events - "Creamy-Delicious Neo-Soul"

"Sande has a mesmerising gift"

Emeli Sande rocked up to the frontline in mid-late 2011 with her startlingly good debut single 'Heaven'. From there she's gone musical miles. A number one duet with Professor Green and impressive writing credits for the likes of Leona Lewis, Susan Boyle, Prof. Green and Tinie Tempah (not to mention being linked to numerous other stars). We no longer have to settle for three songs, we get a lovely 15 (itunes deluxe package) track album packed with passion and that soft yet powerful, gorgeously pitch perfect vocal. 

Her abilities as a singer are unquestionable on all of the tracks, from the soulful 'then I'm gone/then I'm gone' on the Massive Attack-esque beats of 'Heaven' to the stunning power ballad 'My Kind of Love'. Her range is perfectly illustrated on the lullaby style melodies of 'Where I Sleep', with its soft verses which effortlessly melt into creamy-delicious neo-soul.

First a songwriter, then a singer, Sande's talent shines on 'Mountains', a stunning love song about the journey of a relationship and the determination to overcome all obstacles. It feels real, with lyrics like 'I'd never work these hours if I didn't love you' and 'I keep my fingers crossed that we're gon' be able/I touch the wood for luck on our broken table...' Coupling lyrics like these with a voice like Sande's, creates a perfect song and a beautifully authentic message.

Rated Brown - Grammy Injustice

I cannot believe Chris Brown was honoured with a Grammy Award for Best R'N'B Album last week. Have we forgotten he smashed his girlfriend's face into the dash board of his car and put her in a choke hold till she almost passed out? Ok, I'm the first to admit some bias when it comes to Rihanna (such a babe) but regardless of who she is, it's pretty sick that A: he gets away with it and B: he is applauded for and actually allowed to perform at a prestigious musical awards ceremony that features a tribute to a great artist like Whitney Houston. 

Shame.

It's a sad state of affairs when a woman beater gets an accolade like this. It actually angers me that people are fickle enough to forgive and forget an incident like this. Yeah so I might have bought 'Yeah 3x', I'll hold my hands up and admit that foible. However, I would never and will never buy one of his albums, which by the way I think are completely awful. It's up to Rihanna if she wants to interact with the man who pummelled her till she resembled a piece of fruit thrown down the emergency stairs of the Empire State building. It's also up to her fans, particularly those who are so obsessed they can't make up their own mind and form their own opinions on the matter, if they want to do the same and forgive. I however, will never condone behaviour like this on this blog, in voice or in my thoughts. 

"I'm so OVER the haters..." Well you should have thought about that before embedding your fists in your girlfriend's face. Idiot.

Rated Little Black Sandals

One of my favourite album of all time is Some People Have Real Problems by the almighty Sia. One of my favourite songs (three actually) of all time is on this album. 'Little Black Sandals' is a cute, chilled yet bouncy number, with a gorgeous chorus and some lovely lyricism. Everyone has an artist that inspires them everyday and Sia does that for me. New album in 2012 please, PLEASE.

Rated 'How Will I Know'

My favourite Whitney Houston song, 'How Will I Know'.

Legend.

Rated RIP Whitney Houston

Another year, another musical legend kicks it. Amy Winehouse, Etta James and now the iconic Whitney Houston. This lady owned the 1980s and a chunk of the 90s with her well produced power balladry and core shaking vocals. With brilliant pop mastery in the shape of 'How Will I Know?', 'I Will Always Love You', 'It's not alright, but it's OK', 'Greatest Love of All' and even more recent hits like 'Million Dollar Bill', she churned out some huge tunes. RIP Whitney Houston, and thank you for having the impact on pop music that you did. You've left behind a pretty tremendous musical legacy.

1963 - 2012

Rated Song of the week (W/C 6th Feb)

This week I cannot stop listening to Rihanna's 'What's My Name?'. Literally re-hooked, to the point of notching up 14 listens last night. I think it might be partly to do with the awful weather and the images of a Caribbean beach it conjures up when the West Indian tune kicks in. Love love love it.

Rated Give Me All Your Luvin'

With her brilliantly, yet controversially (of course), titled album MDMA coming out at the back end of March it was time for Madonna to drop us a new single. As one of music's most loved and probably most influential, female icons, the pressure is always on for auld lady to reinvent her sound. Transgressing the expectations of pop music fans for decades, particularly with the experimental sound of albums like Ray of Light and the retro feel of the immense Confessions, Madonna has never been one to stick to her guns (no pun intended).

New single 'Give Me All Your Luvin' is a gay club filler waiting to happen, with relevant (all be them predictable) cameos from hip-hop tart Nicki Minaj and the brilliantly imaginative M.I.A. It's a step back to pop, but a step forward from the awkward hip-hop inspired moments from Hard Candy. Even if you don't enjoy its cheerleader chants "L.U.V Madonna/Y.O.U U Wanna?" you're going to be hard pushed not to be singing this to yourself for months to come. Catchy little number.

Check out the video below, where Madge is looking damn fine for a 50-something year old woman. In fact, is she hotter now than she ever was before?!

4/5

Rated "You should be alone for this travesty!"

There are some classic songs that just can't ever be covered successfully. Heart's epic ballad 'Alone' is one of these. However, some chick has taken it upon herself to do just this; musical blasphemy. 'Alone Again' by Alyssa Reid loses all credit when the over produced vocals of its assailant flood their way into earshot. Things get even worse when some guys called Jump Smokers, start rapping. An iconic 80s song, ripped to shreds in three minutes. This is, perhaps, one of the worst cover versions since Geri Halliwell obliterated the Weather Girls' 'It's Raining Men' many years ago.

Awful, unimaginative crap.

0/5

Rated 'Stronger'

It's pretty impressive for an artist to be around as long as Kelly Clarkson has and still to be popping out brilliant pop tunes. It's even more impressive that, as a reality tv contestant, the big voice babe has managed to survive in the industry with such longevity and popularity. With anthemic songs like 'Since U Been Gone' and 'My Life Would Suck Without You', I didn't expect many more belters, particularly as she kind of fell of the music map for a few years. 

New single 'What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger)' is proper pop mammoth. It starts off pretty light, but when the chorus kicks in things get BIG. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger/stand a little taller/doesn't mean I'm lonely cos I'm alone..." KC blasts in her finest melodious roar. If any song is going to stick in your head this February it's this one.

5/5

Rated Born To Die [Review Time]

It's been a big ol' wait, but finally Lana Del Rey's debut album Born To Die is in my hands, on my itunes and in both my ipod and iphone memories. From nobody to star in a few weeks, she is proof of the wonderful marketing tool we know as youtube. She instantly won over millions of viewers/listeners with her Nancy Sinatra tones on debut single, 'Video Games' and caused controversy with her fake lips. With an album as satisfying as this, who gives a shit?

Said debut single is still an album highlight, with gorgeous melodies layered on top of a haunting piano and Lana's sumptuous vocals gliding across the surface. There's a vulnerability and authenticity to her sound, with the odd crackle in her throat making it all sound like a live recording. The low tempo is continued with the title track, which is my personal favourite. "Oh my heart it breaks every step that I take/but I'm hoping at the gates they'll tell me that you're mine..." she sings in a lower, raspy register. 'Blue Jeans' also brims with a heartfelt message of love and passion, "I will love you till the end of time/I would wait a million years/Promise that you'll remember that you're mine."

The majority of the album is down tempo, however the pace picks up with the intoxicating 'Off to the Races', 'Summertime Sadness', and the giddy playground chants of 'Diet Mountain Dew'. The tempo crescendos, when the glorious 'National Anthem' kicks in and Lana semi raps her way through an intricately produced beauty. The chorus blows the arse out of any other song released this year. "Tell me I'm your national anthem/Booyah baby bow down making me say wow now," bites Lana as the pounding, exhilarating drum beats vibrate through your rib cage. 

Rated Wednesday Tune

I'm lying in my bed, about to get stuck into my book (300/900 pages - ugh) when a lovely song, I completely and stupidly neglected for the last 6 months popped on itunes' shuffle. If you are looking for a truly stunning, stripped ballad, check out 'You Have Been Loved' by Sia. It's totally stunning.